To my Dearest Cinder,
This is a letter I do not wish to write, but it is something I have to do. It is
your story and the story has ended. It was March 22, 2001 about 9 am. For some
reason I happened to be in the front yard. I happened to look up and sitting there
in the middle of the street was a very sad Cocker Spaniel. I spoke to you, and you
turned your face away as if very shy. Slowly you turned your head back toward me again.
" You can come in the yard"
I told you. Slowly you came to me and sat down. You have no collar or nothing that
seems to show you have a home. " OK come on. Lets go in the back yard and I'll give
you some water." I squatted down and looked you over real good. I was trying to
see if you were a boy or a girl. I noticed you had a very big stomach and very full
nipples. At first I thought you had had puppies and someone dumped you out and
kept the puppies. Then I felt your tummy and felt plenty of movement. You are
pregnant. I called my Vet and asked if he could come by my house and check you.
"Bring her in" he said. " I don't know this dog. She may bite me if I try and pick her
up". I was left with the unspoken answer coming through the phone. " SO ?" I
decided you had to go to the doctor and be checked. I found you a collar and a
leash and told you, "We are going to the Vet". So I picked you up- and off we went.
As we drove down the road you looked at me and your face and eyes told me- " I
have never loved anyone in my whole life as much as I love you right now". That was
the beginning of a your new life. You were given all of your shots and treated for
worms- so they would not be passed on to your puppies. The Vet trimmed your rear
area and said if he had not, you could not even have the puppies as your hair was so
long and matted. When we got home, I cleared out the outside room and put a rug
down and said, " Here is your new home". I thought for a long time about a name. I
finally decided on Cinder as your were a little dusty and dirty.
I had to work the next day and was unable to sleep. I went out and checked on you.
All seemed well. You were resting quietly. I heard a strange noise in the
back yard and had no idea what it was. Instead of checking, I went back to bed.
I got up around 6 am and got ready for work. Before I left, I went out to check on
you. There you were nursing 4 puppies. How happy and proud you looked. There was
nothing I could do, so I went to work. When I drove in the drive way after work, I was
met by David ( my oldest son). He was holding a puppy wrapped in a wash cloth. He said he
had found it in the back yard, all alone and cold. He said he had doctored the cord.
I warmed a towel in the microwave and warmed the puppy. I knew it needed to
nurse so I took it out to you. I put the puppy down by you and let it nurse. You
acted like you hardly noticed. So the puppy had his first meal. I know the puppy
was at least 15 hours old and had spent the night alone on the cold ground. Thank
goodness David found your other puppy. He became David's dog and was named Moses. You
were a very good Mother. The only time I ever saw you growl was a couple of days
later, David came out to see the puppies. You really growled at him as if to say- " I
don't know you and stay away from my babies." A few times you growled at me
when I put my hand near your food, but in time that no longer happened. You also
began to trust David. The puppys grew and thrived. Soon it was time for baby
shots. So off we go. Mama Cinder and her 5 children. I was told their tails should
be docked as they would look just like their mother. They will have long hair,and its
much easier for them to stay clean with a docked tail. They should also have their
dew claws removed. You did have very large dew claws - so this was a good idea.
I named our little miracle puppy Moses. The little black shy one (Moses best
friend) was named Oliver. The girls were named Sadie and Noel. The biggest of
the litter was named Chester and had already been spoken for. You decided when it
was time for your pups to stop nursing. Thats the only time I ever saw you scold
them. Eat your food. I am no longer nursing. Soon Chester went to his new home.
Others came and looked over your pups. Moses was not to be adopted. That left
Oliver , Sadie and Noel. Two folks came and adopted Sadie and Noel. Oliver should
have been a possibility for adoption- but one lady said he was ugly and when the
next came to visit Oliver hid. He went out to the back yard and around the corner -
to be unseen. That left Moses and Oliver- From that day on they never slept apart.
Side by side - right next to you Mama Cinder. As the pups got bigger - it was duly
noted they were going to be short haired and big, and NO TAIL.
The last I heard about Sadie was she died. Chester was doing very well and was
being well taken care of. Her grown son had claimed Chester and went everywhere with
him. Noel was adopted by a gay hairdresser. Nothing was ever heard about her
after she left.
In the summer of 2005, Mobile was waiting on Hurricane Katrina. We were
somewhat affected by TS Arlene and Hurricane Dennis already. I told you and the
boys you had to come in the house. That was really stressful for all three of you. In
the house? You wanted to be in your own little room house. Then came the wind and
rain. We were not hit directly, but we got lots of wind and rain. With occasional
necessary trips out to the yard- in 24 short hours - all three of you decided being in
was much better. I knew you would be safe in your little room, but it would be nicer
inside. Shortly there after came Hurricane Rita. You were so glad you were all safe
and sound in the house. None of you ever wanted to stay out side again. We lost
power for a total of 10 days that summer because to the storms. By now your sons
were twice as big as you, just tailless. In July Oliver had a tumor removed from his
middle left rear toe. It had been swollen for a couple of months and antibiotics
seemed not to help. With the possibility of it being a tumor,it was removed. It was
not a cancerous tumor and healed nicely. Even though Oliver removed the stitches-
then the metal clip's like stitches and also the big collar, somehow it healed.
September 3,2008
I let you out this morning. You seemed very slow. When you came in you laid down
and I could tell things were just not right. Your gums were gray and you were
having trouble breathing. I was horrified. What had happened. I called my son
David and asked him if he could come and take you to the Vet- NOW. With no more
said, he said yes. Some thing was very wrong. It was not long until David arrived
and you went to the vet. You stayed there for 5 days. They did lab work and
X-rays. They found a tumor on your liver and sent off a biopsy. When you came
home on the 9th you seemed to be feeling good. We had you groomed- which was
badly needed. We were left to decide if we wanted to give you chemotherapy. You
ran out at night and checked the corner of the yard to see if you and your boys and
Miss Daisy could finally catch the coons or the possum. Ever since Miss Daisy was
little - if she happened to go out first would stand outside the door and tell you
you could not come out. She has done that ever since she was little.
This week was different. I think she knew you were not well. Not once did she try
and stop you. We were told you have a very good chance the chemo would shrink
your tumor and all would be well. Each day you seemed to slow down. We had
decided- since the doctors were so assuring you would do just fine- we decided to
let them give you the chemotherapy. Fifteen days after you came home from the
hospital you were again feeling very bad and you were very blotted. Your gums were
again gray. I let you come in my room and lay down that last afternoon. You seemed
very pleased. I did take your picture. When you had to go out again, you went to
the back yard very slowly and did what you had to do . You could not even make it
back in the house . You had to lay down to rest. The Doctor said to bring you in.
David led you to his truck. I picked you up and set you in the seat and kissed you . I
am so happy I did that. They gave you a diuretic to get rid of the fluid build up and
blood to improve your blood count. They said they would give you the first chemo
on Tuesday. "If things go well in the 48 hours after the treatment". She could come
home, till the next treatment. David called to check on you that morning and they
said you were doing well. When David came home about 6"30 pm 9-30-08 he said
"you had passed away at 4"30 pm" He was very sorry." I wonder who was with her?
I wonder if they knew what a good Mother you were?. I wonder if they remembered
I had asked a few weeks earlier why she had a fatty area on her side? I was told it
was a fatty tumor. "No Problem". When I had asked a year or so ago- why you had
a continuous eye drainage - NO problem.. "she is just to fat." When I asked if the
heart worm pill I had given you the day before you got SO sick could have made
you sicker. No one would answer. When I was told your sons would be just like you
- so remove the tail? Not true. I wonder about a lot of things, but its to late. You
are gone and I was not there for you Cinder. I am sorry.
Your sons look like the father as they don't look like you.
The fat on your side could have been swelling from the beginning of your cancer.
The eye drainage is tears because you know you are not well and will not survive.
If the heart worm pill- with its poison made you so ill- the Chemo killed you.
I am so sorry Cinder. I hope I gave you a good life. I hope you will know I did my
best. I know you know I loved you. I just wish I could have done more at the end.
Thank you for coming to my house that day seven years ago,
Love, Mum, Oliver, Moses, David, Miss Daisy and all. October,6th 2008

Dearest Cinder,
I cry when I look at your pictures and think of what a wonderful dog I have lost. Thank you Cinder for the love you gave all of your children and I. 10-7-08
Dearest Cinder,
I just wanted you to know we got your ashes two days ago. I have them by your picture and your collar - just like Jake. You each have a candle burning. I showed your sons your collar. They smelled it a long time. I wish I could know what they were thinking. Jake has been over the bridge 3 years today. It seems like only yesterday. I miss you Mama Cinder. Luv, Mum 10-16-08
Dear Cinder,
I have been thinking about you today. I just wanted to tell you Goodnight. I love and miss you.
Will you tell Jake and Mama Cat I love and Miss them too? Your boys are fine and sent you their love and kisses.
Mum 10-31-08
Dearest Cinder,
Soon Christmas will be here. If I could have one wish it would be that I could have you, Jake and my Mother here to make it a wonderful Best Christmas ever. Until I can be with you all again, know I LOVE YOU. Mum Dec 1, 2008

A CHRISTMAS WISH FOR THE ANIMALS
Christmas Eve 2008

If I could wish upon a star
and travel to the place right where you are.
I would climb the Bridge on Christmas Eve
and take my turn to wait.
To wait right there at Rainbow's Gate,
To have a chance to visit you .
I would hug you tight and be so thankful that very night
to have a chance to see you well and happy too.
Your eyes so bright, your coat so fine.
You have gotten younger over time.
We could talk about the days gone by
and then the day I had to cry.
You could assure me you will be right there
when I too will open Heavens Door.
Its just a dream I know, I can not come until its time .
Until then, just know, I will close my eyes this Christmas Eve
and think of you. We will be together again and when I arrive,
we will never ever have to part.
MERRY CHRISTMAS Love, Mum

April 20th, 2009
Dearest Cinder. I hope you are doing really good. I miss you so much. I have placed two stones in the back yard. One has your name and the other Jake's name. Mama Cat's in in the front yard. I see your face in your two sons. They both now cry when there is a thunder storm. They did not do that when your were here. I am looking forward to the day I can see you again. Love Mum.

June 10, 2009
To my Sweet Cinder,
You know there is not a day goes by that I do not think of you. I remember you every night in my prayers along with Jake and Mama cat. You are the sweetest dog I have ever had and I am so happy you chose me to be your Guardian. Thank You Mama. I Love you. Mum

August 5, 2009
Dear Cinder,
I cried myself to sleep last night thinking about you. Its been almost a year since that day you got so sick. A day I will never forget. I miss you. Moses has started squinting his eyes like you used to do when you wanted to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love and forever miss you. Mum

September 3,2009
Dearest Cinder,
In a few days it will be a year since you left me and I will cry again. Remember I love you. Mum

September 12, 2009
Of course I did not forget you. I will never forget you Cinder. Be patient and I will be there by and by. Love, Mum.

September 30, 2009
Today is your Memorial dinner. I wish I could be there. Please take Jake and Mama Cat with you when you go tonight. Your sons are fine. They send their love as do all the other animals. You were such a sweet dog. I miss you. Love Forever, Mum xooxoxoxo

Nov 24, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving Mama Cinder. Thank you for coming into my life. I miss you. Luv Mum and your sons and all.

Christmas Eve 2009
Dearest Cinder,
I am sad tonight as another one of my family is gone. I have not seen Whiskers since Dec 15th. I hope you can look for him and if her is there, please let me know. Tomorrow night is the memorial dinner for Tatiana. I hope all of you will help. Your sons are really such nice dogs. You would be very proud of them. I miss you and hope you and all of your family, My family, have a Merry Christmas. Love, Mum

Christmas 2010 ...................................................
May you have a very special Christmas.
LOVE, From Mum and all my Animals here and beyond the bridge.
Luke Chapter 2 verse 8-11 ~ GOD BLESS THE ANIMALS

Sept 29th,PM 2011
To my dearest Cinder. Its been three years since you left us. There is not a day that goes by I don't think about you. Your sons send their love as do your Kitty friends you left behind. Enjoy you celebration and know I wish I could be with you. One day Cinder... Love, Mum and all you left here below.

May 3, 2012,
Dearest Mama Cinder,
I want to tell you your son Oliver is going to have surgery tomorrow. I found a tumor in his mouth last Sun
night. Its the size of a jack ball. In the morning he is going in to have to removed. I think its probably cancer. The MD will do an X ray to see if it has spread. He will remove it so Oliver can continue to eat properly. Please gather everyone together tonight and PRAY for Oliver. I will do the same. Love, Mum :-(

May 5th - Dear Cinder. Oliver's tumor surgery went well. He is happy to be home thanks to all of your prayers. I will send you the results when I get them. Oliver sends you his love and Thanks. Thank everyone who came and prayed with you last night. LOVE, Mum

July 9th, 2012
Dear Cinder
I have added a picture that looks just like baby Jenny Wren. She was brought home by Willie, Pressys little brother. When she feels better and gets bigger, she will join Mama cat. As we are all one big family and live so close to each other, everyone can look after her. Poor Shadow, we feel, played to little to much with her as she left her nest for the first time. Please help the family look after this sweet baby. Thank you sweet Cinder.
Oliver seems to be doing well after his surgery. I LOVE YOU Mum xoxox

November 20th 2012
Dear Cinder,
I have some news. Sarah the dog, whom you met at the gate July 10, 2010 and her family have a new home. http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/SARAH029/Resident.htm#PhotoAlbum ~
Thank you for meeting them all and helping them organize things at their New house. Luv Mum

Dear Cinder, 10:30 AM April 8th
PLEASE gather all the family together now, and PLEASE say prayers for Oliver. He is at the ER vet in respiratory distress. They feel his cancer has spread. Just please say many prayers for him. I will inform you more later.
Love, Mum
UPDATE: Oliver left me April 10th, 2013 about 9:30 AM. He is now with his Mama at Rainbow Bridge.

Please also visit Barney Bush, Cricket Childers, Jake Childers, Jenny Ryan, Maliaka, Mama Cat Childers, Tatiana, Vumilia and Yesterdays' Kittens.