April 2023. I haven't visited you here in a while. So much has happened. I saw you when we were leaving Penrose. You waited 7 months to visit. I cried seeing you. But I love the message you were sending. You already know that Jay and Mozzy are not here with me anymore. Jay went to find you then five days later Mozzy left too. Having my three boys together and waiting over the bridge for me brings me a tiny bit of peace. But life is different with the three of you gone. My heart is shattered.
I hope you will show yourself again one day. The eagle you sent me at Manchester was incredible. I know you sent him. Thank you. 💕 I miss you Checkers. You were truly the best boy!

May 8th 2022. You would be 14 today. It's been 7 months and I've struggled to write this, but today is your birthday, and it is time.💖
When I first spotted you at the shelter it was love at first sight. You leapt about 4 feet from the shelter employee's lap into mine and immediately rolled over for belly rubs. Even the guy said, "Wow, he knows you're his mommy!"
You were the happiest little guy. People often called you a "Disney dog." I felt so proud when I was out with you. Everyone always commented. To me you were "monkey" and the "house jester." I used to love singing the theme to the TV show "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" to you. I heard it pop up on the TV the other night and I cried.
You loved playing with the water from the hose! You would throw yourself into the bushes to get to the water. You loved running along side me when I rode my bike. I would bring it camping a few times when I could and we'd go around the campground. You were the best camping buddy! Annual camping trips were something I don't think I would have done if it weren't for you. Hanging together in the hammock at our campsite, or even in the backyard was our favorite past time.
When you got older you became such a good referee with the guest dogs and fosters that would come and go. My dog business would not have even existed if it weren't for you! You changed my life Checkers. You got me through some very dark times and always with a kiss and a cuddle. Or you'd stand on my chest looking proud and I'd call you "my billy goat."
As the years went on I thought you were just slowing down with age. I often referred to you as my "Get off my lawn, 'old man'". Some part it was true, but knowing now that you were sick and never really let on makes me so very sad. I can't help but wonder if you'd still be here with me had I known.
I know you are there preparing for Jay, but I am not ready to send him to you yet. But you did have a paw in bringing Toby and Brody to me, I just know it.
I still cry over you. I know it will get better. But for the rest of my life I will miss you. I will do my best to honor you by moving forward and smile when I think of you. I'm preparing for my first camping trip without you. Mozzy and Jay and I. Aunt Daryn will be there too. We will think of you and have your chair by the campfire.🏕
I love you Monkey. I know you'll greet me again one day. Until then.
🎼"People let me tell you 'bout my bestfriend. He's a warm-hearted doggie who'll love you till the end.🎶 People let me tell you 'bout my best friend. He's a one boy, cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy...cuz he's my best friend...la, la. La, la, la, la, la..."🎶
💌💝💋

April 2022.
You've been gone 6 months. Feels like yesterday. I am not ready to write about you as though you are not with me yet. I know you are gone, but I need more time. But my heart aches and I miss you terribly. Nothing is the same.