Welcome to Cammy's Rainbow Residency

Memories of Cammy

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven............Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 9/2005 You were 8 weeks old the first time I saw you and held you, within minutes I fell in love with you, and have loved you every second of every day since. You were and always will be the light of my life. You own my heart and soul. You brought to my life more happiness and love than I have ever known. You had a million and one names Bubbers, Bean, Ma's Son, Boobers, Sweet Boy, and so many more, for your sweet unique personality always brought a new one to mind. The funny thing is you answered to them all! You were born on the same exact day as me, only 31 years later, that only confirmed it, we were meant to be. As months went by I realized you were going to be a talker. And boy did you love to talk. But I never minded I just felt you had alot to say! What I would give to hear you talking now. At 1 year old, your sister came into our lives, Amanda, a Springer Spaniel. You both hit it off so well I knew you two were also meant to be. So many times I would look at the two of you, sleeping with her head on your chest, or I swear holding hands with your paws overlapping each others, I saw true love. You would walk so close to each other, side by side, you were my velcro twins. Now I look at her and like me her heart is aching. We both feel so empty and lost without you. Our lives will never be the same, our 3rd link is missing. July 30th I went in for surgery, and was home for 6 weeks after that. We were together night and day every second, and now I feel so blessed for that time. My last week home with you, I noticed you not feeling well. After many test, and x-rays a tumor on your spleen was revealed. My worst fears were here. But good news always seemed to follow sonogram revealed no spread, chest x-rays showed crystal clear, blood test for surgery excellent. Thank-God! We met with a specialist, now the next step, you needed to have a splendectomy or the spleen could rupture and you could hemmorage and die. The next morning at 6am I brought you in for surgery. Nothing but good news followed your surgery. You were doing GREAT!!!! On September 17th, I was coming to see you alittle after 3:00, when I got out of work, and September 18th you were to come home, you were doing so well. At 2:30 on September 17th, 40 minutes before I would be there, you went into cardiac arrest. The diagnosis a blood clot took your life. They tried to bring you back to me for several minutes my son, but God took you home instead. I was on my way to be with you baby boy. I now sit here everyday and wonder if I did the right thing for YOU. I feel so many emotions at once heartache, anger, guilt, denial. I feel this was so unfair to you, especially now as your biopsy reveals the tumor was benign. Only 1/3 chance of that. You beat all the odds my angel & I feel now it was so unfair to take you. Maybe someday I will understand why. Everyday I see you here. At times I swear I can actually feel you. Are you here? My life feels so empty without you, my heart has a hole in it and my soul so lost. I love and miss you more than you could ever imagine. Amanda misses you so also Bubby, she lays on your bed every day and I think you must be laying right next to her, as she looks so content. I talked to Dr. T yesterday about you, and he summed it up best "None of us came out of this alive" We all love and miss you so much. You are my life and know we are still together. I love You, Mom "ALL OUR TEARS HAVE REACHED THE SEA, PART OF YOU WILL LIVE IN ME, WAY DOWN DEEP INSIDE MY HEART, THE DAYS KEEP COMING WITH OUT FAIL, NEW WIND IS GOING TO FIND YOUR SAIL, THAT'S WHERE YOUR JOURNEY STARTS....... ......JUST LIKE THE WAVES DOWN BY THE SHORE, WE'RE GOING TO KEEP ON COMING BACK FOR MORE, CAUSE WE DON'T EVER WANT TO STOP, OUT IN THIS BRAVE NEW WORLD YOU SEEK, OH THE VALLEYS AND THE PEAKS, I CAN SEE YOU ON THE TOP........ TIM MCGRAW We'll be together again someday, and never again will we be apart.10/7 Hi my sweet son. It has been 3 weeks exactly since I last saw you. 3 weeks since I last held and touched you. My heart still aches so much. It is so hard for me and Pop and Amanda without you. I still have such a hard time believing your not here with us. I tell everyone the hardest part is you were not even sick, you were still eating, talking, walking and at times prancing, wagging your tail, everything so normal. But not everything was "normal" and you were sick, with a tumor. It still haunts me if I did the right thing for you, if I didn't take you for the operation you would still be here. I'm so sorry my son, I was trying to save your life. I will someday try to find peace in all of this. I think of you every second my bubbers. God I miss you so much and love you even more. Amanda is looking sad and lonely right this second so I have to go and try and comfort her, she misses you baby son. Sleep tight sweet pea, I'll see you in my dreams. I love you, Mom P.S. I'm sending you a carrot for your snackums.10/10 Hi my bubby, my sweet son. Today has been a very sad day for me. I have been missing you so much, I can't seem to smile at all today, I'm finding no reason to without you. My heart is heavier and the tears will not stop. I hope you know how very much I love you, I always tried to make sure you knew. Especially every night when you went to bed and I went upstairs to bed. I always layed with you on your bed and wispered to you every night "you are my soul and I love you my son." What I would give to still "tuck" you in at night. And it is breaking my heart even more, did I tell you how much I love you when I left you at the hospital? I can't even remember. My baby boy please know if I didn't, I'm sorry, and please know how much I do. Everything seemed so right that morning I took you to the hospital. I asked God to give me a sign if I was doing the wrong thing, but you seemed happier than ever to go for a ride, you were talking and wagging your tail, and you have never done that, as riding was most definately not your favorite thing to do. So I thought that was my sign, was it? When we got to the hospital though you would not get out of the car, but you do that all the time, were you giving me a sign? If so I'm sorry I didn't hear you. Just everything seemed to be "right." Help me Cam understand. It's so sad today more than ever. Pop and Amanda send their love. I'll talk to you soon. Sweet Dreams, I love you, Mom 10/14 Hi my sweet son, today it has been 1 month since I last saw you and held you. I miss you so very much and love you more with each day. The tears still come everyday my Cam, I just love you so. WE MAY NOT BE TOGETHER, IN THE WAY WE USED TO BE, WE ARE STILL CONNECTED BY, A CORD NO EYE CAN SEE, SO WHENEVER YOU NEED TO FIND ME, WE'RE NEVER FAR APART, IF YOU LOOK BEYOND THE RAINBOW, AND LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART. I Love you forever, sweet dreams Mom 10/31 Happy Halloween my sweet son, I love and miss you more than ever. Mom 11/05 It has been 2 mths today since I lost you, but I want you to always remember My love grows for you still with every passing day. I think of you always, never a day goes by I don't. You are my sweet son and my soul. Play with all the "puppy angels" and always always remember your Mom loves and misses you. And always keep an ear my way, I am always talking to you. I love you Baby Boy. Mom 11/25 Happy Thanksgiving my sweet angel. My thoughts were all about you today, I miss you so very much, and love you more with each passing day. Mom 12/25/04 Merry Christmas my sweet angel Boy. I pray your Christmas with the Angels was the best ever. You were with me, in everything I did today. I miss you my "son". Merry Merry Christmas. I love you so. Mom 2/14/05 My one and only Valentine, Happy Valentine Angel. I love You! Mom 4/3/05 Happy Birthday my Angel, your first Birthday away from me. I miss you so much. On your first Birthday in heaven our little Amanda came to be with you. So play and love each other. Seeing the two of you together now brings, a smile to my heart. I love you!!! Mom 11/24/05 Happy Thanksgiving my sweet Angel Boy. It snowed today and I thought of you and how much you love the snow. It seems everything that happens in my life now, even something as simple as snow, has my thoughts drifting to you and Amanda. I love and miss you both so incredible much. I pray it is snowing in heaven for you, my sweet boy. On this day I am still as forever most Thankful for you and Amanda, and I know one day our journey will continue. Be happy sweetie, I love you. Mom 12/25 My little Bubby. Merry Christmas my sweet Angel. This is your 2nd Christmas spent with the Angels and God, this year our Amanda is also with you. I pray everyday you are happy and at peace. I pray Christmas in Heaven is all I believe it to be. I pray everyone there knows how lucky they are to have you with them. I pray God is taking great care of you. I know he is. Have the greatest Christmas ever. My greatest Christmas present is and always will be, you two. I love you. Mom 1/1 Happy New Year Angel Boy. I miss you so. My love only grows for you everyday, still, forever. I LOVE YOU!!!!!! Happy New Year. Be happy, play, no worries. Until, Mom 4/3/06 My Baby Boy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! Today my sweet son is for you. The sun is out, it is warm and beautiful. Today is for you. I know you are with our Amanda, and I know your Birthday will be a beautiful one. Know everyday my love for you only continues to grow. I miss you sweet boy, so very much. Not a day goes by you are not with me, deep in my heart and soul. "THE ONLY THING THAT GIVES ME HOPE, IS I KNOW , I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN SOMEDAY." k. chesney I love you my son. Forever and a day. Until, Mom Please also visit Amanda.

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