September 26th, 2005
Today is Monday.I wonder how the day will go. You are breathing very hard today. The humidity is very high and it is much to warm for September. What can I do for you? When I picked you up- you were not very pleased with me and I could feel the tumor is growing very fast. It is twice the size it was last week. Today you did not wish to be held as I held you last week. Then you were still and I even sat down with you in the chair outside the front door. Today you looked weak and your eyes are growing dim. Your little girl still loves you. What will she do when you leave? You are still eating- but I noticed today it did not seem such a pleasure as it usually does. I am so torn as to what to do. What is best? Do I take you for your last ride, or do I let you cross the
bridge in your own way and at the time of your own choosing? When I took you in, in 1995 ( I remember the year as it was the same year as Hurricane Opal. September 23, 1995- that's when your last four children were born) I am not sure how old you were. You had already had 2 litters of children. The first time I saw you- perhaps the summer of 1994 I saw you at the back of the yard with 3 small kittens. I only saw you once. The next time I saw you- many weeks later- you were alone. It must have been the next spring. This time you came here with one small baby kitten. By now you realized that you needed help. I was able to befriend you kitten I named Little Karapu. It was a very sweet kitten and seemed to be friendly. As Mama was not to pleased I was holding the
kitten, I did not hold it much as Mama seemed to be doing a good job taking care of it. It was eating food from a bowl and Mama seemed to know I was being nice to her baby. Then as I held her baby It seemed to get very sick. I was on the phone with the Vet when Karapu died in my hands. I was distraught. Mama was looking and waiting for her baby. I laid the kitten on a towel outside and Mama slept with her baby all night. The next day I told Mama she had to let her baby go. This was in 1994. She did, and she left also. It was a few months before I saw her again. Its 1:05 am. Tuesday September 27th..10 years and four days from the time your last litter was born. Baby girl Shadow is still at your side. Boomer is near you also. Muffin is now an inside cat as is your son Boomer. You are purring and I pet you lightly. It is so hard for you to breath I think. I told you about Little Karuppu and about the first time I saw you. I ask you what I should do. You say nothing, but a labored purr. I wonder if this is the last time I will see you. I hope you will be there in the morning. Goodnight
Mama. I love you.
September 29, 2005
Today you are still with me. I was worried yesterday. When I fed you after lunch you would not eat, but at dinner time you did eat. I put your son Boomer on a leash and let him come out and see you. Today you ate a little at both meals. I am so glad. Mama, I love you. Please get better and emember I love you.
October 3, 2005
I looked for you for a long time today. I finally found you in the neighbors yard. It was around noon. Early for you to eat your favorite fish meal, but I thought today was special. You did not eat at first. Your Little Girl appeared from somewhere and then you decided to eat also. Just a bite, but you ate. I wanted you to come home, but knew you would in time. This evening you were in your yard and I spoke to you. I told you about your family and what wonderful children you had and what a good Mother you were. Then I told you Goodnight.
October 4th, 2005,
I was very glad to see you this morning. I opened your favorite food, but you did not eat. I petted you for a long time. You are coughing and no longer purring. I am so sorry Mama. I just wish there was something I could do. I went inside a few minutes and when I came back out you were drinking some water. I was so happy to see that. Then you took a bite of your food. Then you laid on your side and I softly pet you and placed my tear of your brow, and again told you I loved you. Later, when the man came to fit a shingle on the roof you disappeared on a bottom shelf hidden from view. About dark I went to check on you. You were still there in your little hidden spot. You did look at me and I told you I loved you. 11 PM. You are not outside tonight. Usually you sleep under David's truck. I do not want to invade your hidden spot ... I wonder if you have gone...I know if you were able you would be out to see me. I do not want to lose you, nor do I want to intrude. I have cried so many tears for you. My little black Mama cat. A good Mother. Where is your daughter. Does she know you are leaving? Did you tell her? Did I tell you that yesterday was the birthday of your children? Boomer, Muffin, McGregor and Shadow. They were born the day that Hurricane Opal (Sept 9th ,1995) Hit Florida. You had your babies in the garden. Right next to the wooden fence. It was pouring down rain. I brought your babies inside and dried them with a hair dryer. Then I got a box- put a plastic cover over the picnic table and placed you children in the nice warm dry box. I was afraid you would not come back as one is not supposed to bother kittens. So I sat by the back door and watched the rain for at least an hour. You finally came back. Before morning you had moved your children back by the fence just where you wanted them. (which was in the middle of some pots that had plants my Mother had given me. She brought the baby plants back from a trip to visit my brother in Texas and I had planted them. I think I had 8 or so. ) You and your children grew up in the patio. You had a nice basket and I have pictures of you and your babies. The next event I remember is the day- when you and your kittens were about 6 weeks old. I took you and the kids to the vet. The children got their shots and you were neutered. To catch you- David and I somehow got you in the house. We gave you something to eat- with a pill crushed in it- so clam you. It did not work that much. David put on 2 coats and gloves. You flew up the back door ripping the door curtain and
scratching the door. We finally got you in the cage and off you all went to the vet. There was the time- we had a hurricane and I had secured the outside. I began looking for you...and it was a day and a half before I found you. I had shut the door to the outside room..not knowing you were there. You were there for a day and a half and never said a word.
After Hurricane Ivan in September 2004- the next morning I saw you and Shadow on top of the car port. How you got there I don't have a clue- nor do I know how you got down,
but you did.
In April of this year, I had picked you up an felt a small wet tumor under your right shoulder. I thought for days about what to do. Then I finally just picked you up and took you to the vet. The tumor was removed and they said it was cancer, but they felt they had gotten all of it. I noticed you getting sick about 3 weeks ago. It has been down hill ever sense. I remember back to the day when you brought one little black kitten to my house. Little Karuppu ( an East Indian word for BLACK) was probably 6 weeks old when you brought her to my house. I think you knew you needed help with her. In a few days Little Karappu was eating and seemed to be doing fine. She was with me for about 2 weeks. Then one day she would not eat and seemed not well. It was early evening. As you got sicker before my eyes, I called the vet and asked if there was anything I could do. As we talked..Little Karappu died in my hands. I went out and told Mama Cat. I lay the baby on a clean towel and put her near her Mother. Mama laid by her baby all night and did not move...just guarding her baby. In the morning I told Mama she had to let her go. I buried her precious baby. and I did not see Mama till the next year when she brought her four children to me. Now it my turn to cry for Mama. Her children are 10 years old. Mama must be at least 12, or perhaps older. The first time I ever saw her she had brought 3 small kittens in the back yard. When I went outside they were gone. It was months before I saw her again. Then she bought Little Karapu home. It was the next year I think before she came here to stay with her four last children. Mama, it has not been a real good life here. No satin sheets to sleep on. You have had, never the less, a warm house in the winter, that you seldom used. The last few summers have been so very hot. You went to the vet twice. Once to be neutered and once to have your tumor removed. You may have lived longer had I not had the tumor removed. Mama I did the best I could. You have had a hard life, but the last 10 years you had your children with you. You have always had fresh water and a bowl of food. The past four years you and your children your have lived in the front yard as Cinder and her sons caused you to move out of their area. I remember when David moved back home. He said I had to many cats. I told him he would have to pick the ones that had to go to the pound as I could not choose.
Your daughter Muffin - who, even as a small kitten wanted to be a house cat, finally had to be a house cat. As a young adult she would hide on the roof as she was afraid of many things. Then when she was about 3 or so..I found her unable to move. I took her to the vet and they said she had been hit by a car or attacked by a dog. She was partially paralyzed. They kept her for about 2-3 weeks- they cut off her tail as the vet said she would have no feeling in it and it would be hard for her to clean herself. I had to learn how to empty her bladder at first. She came inside then and finally got the feeling back, and is fairly normal, but still does not play with others.
Your son Boomer- I have pictures of him a baby laid out sleeping. In his younger days, he loved to prowl. When he came back he was always wounded. After having spent over 8 hundred dollars to mend him- he had to spend 3 weeks in the bird cage in the back yard so I could give him his pills. So no more outside cat...He hated that. About a year later- one day he snuck out and headed for the cage outside. Its been that way ever since. He really begs and cries till he can go out and spend the day outside in the cage. I think he just watches the birds and enjoys the fresh air. He sleeps as soundly as he did as a baby. Your son McGregor. McGregor was never happy from the time he was a baby he has always been sad. I don't know why. He is a sweet cat and loves to be brushed. Once he snuck in and I knew he would hate to be in - so I ran him out. I am sorry I did that. Now he is sort of afraid of me.
Your daughter Shadow.
Shadow does not let a day go by that she does not rub you head. She is your shadow and has been since she was a baby. This past year though- she has spent more time next door on the over hang of the ladies back door. I think she knows you do not feel well. But when you are there she is right by your side. ALWAYS. Actually all of your children rub your head. Boomer came out to see you the day before yesterday. He always begs to go out. I don't think its to run away anymore...I think its to see you and his siblings. I am glad I let him go to see you then.
October 5th Wednesday 1 AM
I am still writing. Mama I just know you will be gone in the morning. I have shed so
many tears as I wrote this. I pray you go softly and it will be easier for you on the other
side. Know that one day I will come looking for you. I love you Mama. Goodnight.
October 5th, 2005 4PM
I just knew Mama would be gone this a.m. could not find her. After a few minutes I saw her. She was in the front yard sitting on a wooden log. I pet her and in a minute she turned away from me, so I left her alone. A while later I found her in a place I had never seen her in, under a bush near the street. "I, ever so gently, picked you up and carried you to the rocker and held and petted you for a little bit. The luster in your eyes was gone. You no longer purred. Your breathing was very labored and you had nasal flaring and you felt cool". Mama you were so very tired. I hurried to put away the groceries and put a nice towel in the carrier. Then I put you in the truck. It was a very long ride and I was in no hurry. I petted you again and told you what I had to do. I saw
a friend that works in the vets office and asked her to come out with me. I told her Mama had to be put to sleep. She took Mama in and came back with the paper I had to sign. You were brought back to me and we took another longer ride home. I found a nice box with a top, then dug the hole. It's overcast with a few sprinkles now and then. I put a nice towel in the bottom, covered you with another and placed a nice warm piece of cloth on top. The I added some Heather to the top inside your box. I curled you up just like you would be if you were taking a long nap. You have one paw over your face and your tail is nicely curled around you. None of the other cats came to see you
buried. I think they knew. They knew you had been so sick. On the way home Arron Neville sang Amazing Grace...all the way home. Mama I am sorry I could not go in. I just could not. You do
know that I will miss you very much. You were an amazing cat. A good Mother...even though you did not know exactly what to do when you were young you learned with a little help. You asked for so little. I am sorry I had to take you. I did it for you as you were suffering. You are how home. Over the Rainbow bridge. Its warm and there is such a wonderful breeze. There are so many others there. I hope you see Tiger, Princess, Four Eyes, Butch, Julius, Kalu, your baby Little Karuppu, Mr. Bones, Calico, and your other children that lived here long ago.. They will all be there Mama and there will be no more pain, cancer, cold days and long wet nights. You were so thin. Please
eat well and take nice long walks. There is no need now to worry about loud speeding cars. I love you. I will remind Shadow to say her prayers, and I will tell McGregor , Muffin and Boomer where your have gone. Goodnight my Mama Dear. I will miss you very very much and will never forget you. Love, Mum
A CHRISTMAS WISH FOR THE ANIMALS
Christmas Eve 2008
If I could wish upon a star
and travel to the place right where you are.
I would climb the Bridge on Christmas Eve
and take my turn to wait.
To wait right there at Rainbow's Gate,
To have a chance to visit you .
I would hug you tight and be so thankful that very night
to have a chance to see you well and happy too.
Your eyes so bright, your coat so fine.
You have gotten younger over time.
We could talk about the days gone by
and then the day I had to cry.
You could assure me you will be right there
when I too will open Heavens Door.
Its just a dream I know, I can not come until its time .
Until then, just know, I will close my eyes this Christmas Eve
and think of you. We will be together again and when I arrive,
we will never ever have to part.
MERRY CHRISTMAS Love, Mum
January 29, 2009
Dear Mama, Another year has gone by. I hope you and Karapu are enjoying each day. Do know I miss you very much. Shadow and McGregor are best friends now, but no other cat will ever be as close as you were to your Baby girl. We love and miss you. Mum
April 17th , 2009
Mama- Do you know its beem 16 years since you first stepped in to my life. I hope you and little Karapu are fine. Your Baby Shadow in fine as are Boomer,Muffin and McGregor. I miss you. Luv Mum
June 10, 2009
Dear Sweet Mama
I hope you are doing well. I know you are now looking after your baby Karapu and the other children you had long before you came here to live. McGregors chin fur is pure white. He is slow and getting old. Its going to be a really hot summer and wish he would move in the house. But, like you, that was not to be. I remember you and Jake, Cinder and all the animals in my prayers every night. Take care Mama and I miss you. Shadow is fine. Love you you and all of your family, Mum
Happy Thanksgiving Mama. I am Thankful to have had you as a family member. Luv, Mum and your Kids.
Christmas Eve 2009
I want to wish you and Karapu a very Merry Christmas. Remember the Memorial dinner is tomorrow night for Tatiana. I am so sad to tell you that Whiskers is no longer here. The last time I saw him was Dec 15th. Please ask the family to see if he has crossed the Bridge. I just don't like the fact that I do not know what happened. He is the last of Scruffy's family. The rest of the children are all there with you. I do hope everyone is well. Let me know, somehow, if Whiskers is with you. It is a sad Christmas as I don't know where he is. Take care my sweet Mama and keep the family together. Merry Christmas. I love you all. Mum
May you have a very special Christmas.
LOVE, From Mum and all my Animals here and beyoud the bridge. GOD BLESS THE ANIMALS
January 24th, 2011
I have some sad news. Today I found a solid black kitten in the culvert across the street. I did not look to see if it was a boy or girl kitty. I gave it a proper burial near the bushes in the back yard. I also gave kitty a new little toy mouse. It will be a long walk, so perhaps you and Karapu can help kitty the last few steps. I do not know why it died, but I do know kitty will find a wonderful home there beyond the bridge. Be sure Jake and Cinder and all the rest go with you tonight. I fear McGregor wil be joining you soon. He has lost so much weight. I am glad he has a really warm house by the front door - and out of the rain. Shadow is doing fine really, but if McGregor joins you she will be very very lost. Thank you Mama. The Sunshine kids will also join you tonight. I miss each and everyone of my family so much. Love till we meet there beyond the bridge. Mum
February 12, 2011
I realized your son McGregor had a very bad tooth infection about 2 weeks ago. I took him in to the vet and they cleaned his teeth and pulled a few. I let him stay a few extra days as he is older and needed the rest. When he came home he did really well for the first few days, then he stated going down hill. I took him to the Animal ER. He had a really high fever. That was last night. Tonight we spoke a while and an FIV test was talked about. Dr. Miller called me back around 10 PM and told me McGregor was FIV + and that could be a large part of his poor condition. Could he have gotten it from Four Eyes or Kalu a long time ago? I don't know but I want you ALL to say a LONG prayer for him tonight. Please tell Jake and Cinder. I am so sorry Mama. I thought I had taken good care of him. I have not told his Sister or Brothers yet. I have to do that tomorrow. I am sorry. Luv, Mum
March 6th 2011,
Dear Mama. You will be pleased to know your son McGregor is home and doing much better. I have to keep him separated, so he won't pass on his FIV, He will be on PO meds for another week. Poor Shadow is lost with out his company outside. She is missing a big bottom tooth. I wish I could take her in to the vet, but we both know how shy she is. She is nice and fat though. She and all of us miss you everyday. Love, Mum
March 15, 2011
Dear Mama and Karapu,
I know you won't mind I added some of the rest of the family to your page. They are indeed cats who also shared this home before you. Princess was found at a Hardware store in 1976. I think she came from a fish market as she smelled so bad. She had to be put to sleep because of renal failure in 1994. Calico came here as a very young cat in 1977? She had cancer and I did not put her to sleep just then, but was going to take her the next day. She left to die alone, just as she arrived. Kalu came here about ? 1996. In 1998 he got very ill. I took him in and he was put to sleep as he had FIV. Four eyes came in 1998. By the time I could pet him he was very ill. I took him to the vet and he was put to sleep as he had FIV and leukemia. Tiger was Whiskers and Violets brother. Their Mama, Scruffy, ran off after being spade and left her kittens here with me.They were born here in 1996. One little kitten Patches, died a few days after he was born. Tiger became deaf after his baby shots. He hated to stay in, and got run over by the front yard. He was killed in March 2000. Violet was poisoned by the neighbor in Jan 2003. Whiskers stayed here until he too left, never to return on 12-11-2009. Mr Bones came here March 2004. After I was able to befriend him , I took him in and he had all of his shots and was neutered. A few days after, he just could not stay in. So I let him out in the pm. I found him the next morning by the water bowl. He had died, and I am sure he was poisoned by the neighbor. Mr Glover showed up in the fall of 2004. He was a very nice cat, but I could never pet him. He ate here and was a sweet cat. One day, in the spring of 2005, he left and I never saw him again. Baby Blackie, a young kitten was found dead in the culvert. He is buried in the back yard. I added a pix of a kitten that looked just like this little one. I am so glad you are now all together. I miss you all. Love, Mum
Dear Mama Cat,
I am adding a link to Calico Cat 1978 - 1998. She was a really Wonderful Kitty Too. Please make sure she and Cricket have met. My Mother loves this Cat. Calico also had cancer. Its so hard as I miss EACH and EVERY ONE of you. :-( Love, Mum
Dear Cricket: This song is for you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8A9Y1Dq_cQ
NOW I KNOW, SHE IS AT THE RAINBOW BRIDGE.
May 3, 2012
Dearest Mama Cat,
Please gather tonight together with family and friends and pray for Cinders Son Oliver. He is such a good dog and was born here just like your last children. Thank you Mama. Shadow continues to do well and I am so glad for that as do the rest of your children. Love, Mum.
I told you about the kitty Willy who is arriving tonight. He is bringing with him a baby Wren who left her nest today, but I fear Shadow found her before she was able to fly over the wooden fence. Please help Willy take care of her tonight and when she gets bigger, she may decide to join you as her Mother knew all the folks that you also knew. I know Shadow did not mean to harm her, but when- someday- Shadow arrives, please let her meet this beautiful little bird. I know Shadow will love her. Thank you Mama. Please tell Baby Wren I am so sorry.
Her family cried and searched for her for a long time. Love, Mum
October 8th, 2012
Mama, Please forgive me for missing your 7th Anniversary. I know there was a big nice dinner and everyone enjoyed it. I saw a young Black male kitty napping out side my bedroom window today. A few minutes he was replaced by a young black and white female kitty.Shadow is doing well as are Boomer, McGregor, Muffin.
Please forgive me for missing your dinner. I do love and miss you every day as do the children. Thank you for forgiving me. xoxox Love, Mum
Please also visit Barney Bush, Cinder Childers, Cricket Childers, Jake Childers, Jenny Ryan, Maliaka, Tatiana, Vumilia and Yesterdays' Kittens.