Welcome to Mandy's Rainbow Bridge Memorial Residency

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Memories of Mandy

Mandy was the reason why I got up in the morning and went to sleep happy at night. Being legally blind and living alone with no family and fewer friends around she loved me unconditionally and fully and never saw me as anything but whole and her daddy. It was always the Doug and Mandy show. It was " You and Me against the world " and with her by my side the world could go it's own way. She loved her special bisseys ( biscuits ) and was a chow hound from the beginning. She was always ready to show love and be near. She loved her toys and had quite a few and not really a favorite. She was also very kind and loving to others when we went visiting to nursing homes and always liked to be a social butterfly when I took her for a ride in her cart down by the river when she developed a torn acl and could not walk far distances anymore. The thing I'll miss the most is the look of love in her eyes every time she looked at me. Even when it was time to say good bye till later. I'll never be the same without her till I can see her again in heaven. Rest in peace my little girl till I can see you again, then there will be no more, "tears in heaven".

January 2nd, 2009
My Dearest Mandy,
I got home and have stayed the day and
so far I've been OK but still not quite right.
The house is so empty without you and
I know your OK in heaven and doing just
fine but I can't seem to quit crying everytime
I think about you not being here with me.
I''m going to pay some bills and go to the
store. I'm going to stop by the vets and
pay a little toward your bill and maybe see
a puppy or two to say " hi ya doin". You know
where that comes from. Daddy misses you so
and having trouble writing so just know I love
you with all my heart. Love you always, Daddy

January 5th, 2009
My Dearest Mandy,
It's been two weeks since we parted and
the pain is worse. How I long to play E-do
with your padders (paws) and have you wake
me up with your special way. I love you and
hope to be with you soon. I went to church with
Glen and Betty so I could ask God to be sure and
watch over you til I can get there. I have some running
to do today so I'll be able to leave this cold feeling house
that doesn't seem like home anymore without you.
Always know I'll Love You Forever, and will always
be your Daddy and you'll always be my little Pudders
PS. Daddys sorry I couldn't go to candle light tonight.
I just couldn't find the strenth to relive us parting all
over again. I promise I make it next Monday.

January 12, 2009
Hi little girl, Another Monday has come and gone almost and
the pain just keeps getting worse without you here. I know
God is enjoying you and taking good care of you but I guess
I'm still wishing you were here with me. I took you to church
again with me yesterday and prayed to Jesus to keep a close eye
on you til I get there to look after you again.I just can't
seem to stop crying somedays and it makes my ashma worse but
daddy is doing his best to get better. I love you, with all my
heart and soul. Your daddy

January 14, 2008
Hi Pudders, I'm trying so hard to not get sad but so many times
things remind me of you. I went through my camera and sent some of
your photos to Auntie Mary Ellen and it's so hard to see them again
since they were the last photos I took of you. Please come visit me
soon in my dreams so I can feel you again. I love you Mandy, my little
girl. Daddy


January 22, 2009
Hi baby girl,
Hope you had a great couple of days. I went to the vet yesterday to pay a little more of our bill and I got to say, as you would say, "HI Ya Doin". Daddy forgot to take a bissy or two so I couldn't give em a treat like you would want me to but I will try to remember next time. I'm going to the humane society to visit some of the puppies and give them a bissy or two. I didn't think you would mind so I think I'll take a couple of your old toys and maybe a new nila bone. You always were willing to share, except tor your food treats but I think you would want me to. I wish I could tell you I'm doing better but I'm not pudders. I have such a empty heart with out you. I really am trying my hardest but I just can't seem to. I have to go to the doctor next Monday and hope they can figure out what's going on with me. Anyway little girl, I love you and wish you were here. I have to go now cause I'm starting to cry again and can't see the screen anymore. Just know I love you with all my heart and soul. Daddy

PS One of your bunny friends stopped by yesterday and wanted me to say hi and that they would see you soon someday.

February 3rd, 2009

My Dearest Mandy,
Happy 13th birthday little girl. I promised myself I would really try hard to keep the day happy and have nothing but good thoughts and great memories of all the birthdays past we shared and enjoyed together. I did pretty good but can't say I didn't break down as I did. I took your cake to McDonalds for lunch and for old time sake had a double hamburger just as you liked it, plain. I sang happy birthday and had a piece of your cake. Then I I took the rest of it to your doctors office so they could celebrate also as you know how special you were to them there.. I even put a picture of you on the cake so they could enjoy knowing your still and forever will be remembered on this day. I love you my little girl and let the party continue with all your friends at the bridge. Love, with all my heart and soul. Daddy

February 5th, 2009

My Dear Little Girl,
Daddy had a very ruff morning struggling with having to let you go when he did. I can't forgive myself for sending you to Rainbow Bridge even though I knew I didn't have a choice except to see and let you continue to get worse. I just knew that when you wouldn't eat your bissys or food it was really getting bad and Daddy couldn't bare knowing or letting you get worse so I had to say good bye for now. I know you love me stile but it stile hurts so much. I know your in a better place but I so want to be with you again. You will always be my best friend no matter who or where I'm with or where I am. I have been struggling with whether to get another puppy or one who needs a home. I'm just not sure if I could love again like I loved you and that wouldn't be fair to that puppy. I'm sure you would want me to help take care of another and be, at least a little happier, with a new puppy. Just know that you and only you will ever be my best friend, companion, daughter, and the reason I understand what real love means. Take care of you until I join you at the bridge and that will be the happiest day of my life. Love you forever little girl. Love daddy


February 9th, 2009

My Dearest Mandy,
I took my first walk down by the river without you
on Saturday and of course it was very hard for me.
I did see another cocker that looked just like you, maybe
God put it there so you could tell me you were OK and it
gave me huggs and kisses just like you would have if you
were here with me. Daddy is still sick and wishes it could just
end somedays. Nothing makes since anymore since you've
been gone. I love you my little girl and mis you. Love , Daddy


February 14, 2009

Hi Little Girl,
Just sending you a Valentines Day hug and
kiss. You were always my favorite Valentine and I would
be giving you your special treat today. I visited some
puppys at the humane society and they wanted to say
hi how ya doin. O, baby it's so hard not to be able to
hold you and give you a big hug. This is suppose to be
the day of the heart and it seems my heart is just broken.
Hope you have a nice day with all your bridgekid friends
just remember how much I love you my little girl.
You hold the key to my heart and always will.
Love you forever. Daddy


February 24th, 2008

Hi Little Girl,
Daddy forgot to put you on Monday night candle service and feel bad. I had a ruff day yesterday. I was online looking at a video about a older cocker spaniel named Bonnie who needed a home. It made me cry because she wagged her tail and shook padders just like you and her little butski tail wagged just like you and moved just like you. I wish I could adopt her but I know she will need medical care little girl and daddy just doesn't have the money to take care of her right now. It makes me feel sad because I know you would want me to give it a home. Daddy had a ruff night with his asthma also but I am doing better today so far. I'm getting ready to go visit Auntie Mary Ellen and you housin' Callie. I wish I could take you with me but I don't want your house to get broken. I'll take your travelin puppy with me like I always did before. Just know I love you and miss you soo much and I don't think the pain will ever go away. You were my special angel puppy and our match was made in heaven. I love you Mandy girl. Daddy will write more when I get back or if I get a chance to get online. Please play nice with all your friends and I've asked God to watch over you special. Love you and I'll see you soon. Daddy PS The malamute puppy that I took for a walk found a home. She was a very nice puppy and had a disposition just like you. Very sweet and kind. Thank God for me when you see him, OK !!!

March 22nd 2009

My Dearest Mandy,
I just got back from my visit with your auntie Mary Ellen and your auntie Rita and all the puppies and kids. I had a nice time but still miss you so much and the pain is still there. I'm feeling a little better but I'm still not well and hope soon the doctors will figure it out. It was nice weather and you would have had a good time it you could have been with me. Your cousin Callie is a real cool collie and though she loves to play and you don't you would have been a cute couple of kids. I met a lady that had a little cocker that looked a lot like you. It is getting old and soon I'm sure will be crossing over the bridge so watch for it and help it get acquainted with all the other puppies. I still don't know where my life is heading and what to do all I can do is keep hoping God will direct me and give me my health back to where I can enjoy my life. I didn't realize just how lucky I was with the life I had with you and sometimes I think I took it for granted. I know I missed out on times with you while looking for other things and I know now it was a big mistake. I hope you can forgive me for that and also for sending you on your way to the bridge but I just didn't know what else to do as I couldn't take a chance on you getting worse when I had no way to get you help. I know we had a great life together and am blessed because of you. Take care my little girl and I'll see you soon. Love you forever and always, Your Daddy

April 10, 2009
My Dearest Little Girl,
Sunday is Easter and I hope all you puppies at the bridge are celebrating Jesus for giving us all new life. I also know the Easter bunny makes Bridge calls to all of you also. Daddy is feeling better but still not quite right. He also still misses you so much and though I try so hard to think of our wonderful days together I still cry for you not being here. I have adopted a little puppy named Sandy who needed a home. I hope you will visit her and show her the ropes and make her feel warm and wanted in your home. It will always be, your home. I hope to go to church on Sunday but I need to find a ride. If not, I'll celebrate with Jesus and you here. Take good care of you until I'm with you again. I love you with all my heart and soul. Love always, Daddy.


April 25, 2009

My Dearest Little Angel Mandy
Thank you so much for the wonderful poem that your auntie Mary Ellen made for me from you. I know you were there right with her when she made it. It was hard for me to see through my tears but I know through your wisdom and love I'll have the strength to keep going. Your new little sister Sandy is doing real well and I know she knew I had a ruff day as she just laid in my arms and said I'm so sorry your sad and miss my sister but we both will see her, you united and me the first time, soon. Most people still don't get the pain in my heart and the big whole left in my sole from when you had to go, but I love knowing you no longer hurt anymore. So, keep right on enjoying your new home and life and someday I'll understand and know what your experiencing right now and even more so knowing I'm with you again. Daddy misses you so much and loves you with all his heart. Love, even through eternity, your Daddy

May 13, 2009

My Dearest little Mandy,
I hope your doing fine and enjoying your new life with Jesus and all the other special puppies at the bridge. I've been working with your sister and she is doing very good. Not as easy as you were but she's coming along just fine. She is doing fine now with her stitches, remember how daddy was so worried about you when you had yours. But you did fine and made it OK. Daddy has been feeling pretty good but still not quite right but I think Jesus is working on that as well as you well know. Daddy still misses you so much and it just doesn't seem right with out you here with me. My heart still aches and I can't stop thinking about our last day together. I could tell you were still worried about me and didn't want to go because of that. My heart still sinks when I think about how you looked at me when I would wake up having trouble breathing and coughing and how you just needed to know I was OK. Sandy seems to like the bunnies just like you and seems to like her bissies as well. Aunte Mary Ellen loved the photos you girls sent and wanted me to thank you for them. Please take care of you til I come home. My heart will always be empty without you but I'm doing the best I can. I am trying real hard to be a good daddy to Sandy. I know you would like her as she has a lot of your personality and traits. I miss you and love you and can't wait to see you again. Love you always, Daddy

May 24, 2009

Hi Little Angel Puppy,
Daddy and your little sister is doing OK and learning a lot of things together. Daddy has learned a lot in the last year since you've been Ill and went to "Rainbow Bridge". I leaned I spent to much time trying to find love and acceptance from all around me and was only hurt, disappointed, or both. I feel guilty about all the time I wasted on these things when I had real love staring me in the face every day and though we spent many precious hours together and ones full of love and happiness, daddy wasted time and for that I'm so sorry. I'm going to try real hard not to make that same mistake again. I'm starting out right now by staying home more with your sister instead of going to places, like the church daddy is going to now, that doesn't accept him or you as a important or even equal person. They can't accept you or your little sister so God and Jesus are just going to have to be our family here on earth until we get to you in heaven. Again Little Angel Puppy I'm sorry I wasted time with you please forgive me. I hope all your bunny friends are having fun with you. Your sister loves em too. She sends her love and wants to tell you she is trying hard to make daddy as happy as possible. I know you had a paw in this so I know you still are trying to take care of me, please try now to take care of you. It's your turn, daddy has already had his. Please tell your Grandpa Hill that daddy loves him and honors him on this special day, Memorial Day. He was all American just like you. I love you little girl. Love you forever and see you soon. Daddy and your little sister Sandy Too

June 27th,2009
HI Little Mandy girl,
Just thought I would let you know a few things and how it's been. The weather has been real hot so you would not have liked it much. Daddy still has many "Mandy" days and sheds tears since you've been away. They say I'll grieve until I can talk about you and not start crying or feeling hurt. I'm sure that won't happen for a while or maybe never. I know you want me to be happy and to be sad over you not being here but somehow I just can't seem to do it for you as much as you want me to. Your little sister Sandy got groomed Thursday and it wasn't a fun time. She really hated it and I, as you know, got real upset and could hardly stand it. I guess after seeing you off to the bridge most things don't seem as hard or as bad. Your Auntie Mary Ellen really made some neat photos of you. I look at them everyday and remember our time and love we had together . I am starting a support group with the help of the Humane Society and it is called "Mandy's Memories Support Group. At our first meeting, daddy is going to have a little service in your honor. I will be taking you with me as I need you to be there. Daddy is feeling OK but sometimes I am still not well. Thanks for sending Sandy to me. it helps but it still isn't the same but she is a real sweet puppy and deserves to be loved and I will do everything I can to show her that. I know you would want that for sure. I hope your time is going along ok and please let me know how you are some way. Just know I'll always love you. To my little puppy angel I say, I LOVE YOU LOVE DADDY


August 16, 2009
Dear Pudders,
Hope your having fun and sharing time with new arrivals to the bridge. Daddy had fun working with the Humane Society last week. Maybe one of daddy's favorite puppy's might get a home. Tell her to be good to the cats. Your support group meets on Tuesday. There may not be many people there but I know you will be and I know you will like my dedication to you cause you know it's from my heart. People will never understand what you meant to me and that's OK as I know you do. It does upset me sometimes however but I'm trying very hard to do what God and Jesus wants me to do so I can come to heaven and be with you. Your little sister is doing great and I know you to will be a great pair together. If Muncher is there with you, look him up as he was one of daddy's puppy's as well. Your other sister McKenzie I'm not sure if she is still here or not but if she is with you, give her a big hug and you guys get acquainted OK. I love you and will always love you and the whole in my heart is still the same. I know what I read is right but for some reason I don't want to let go of you in that way. It just seems that your closer to me the way I've been doing it. Bye for now, and I wish I could just hold you for a little while. All my Love, Daddy and Sandy

December 22,2009


My Dear Little Girl,
It is so hard to think of you as gone for a year. As you know I still struggle with you being gone and I'm sure it will be that way till I can see you again. God for some reason can't grant me peace but maybe it will make me stronger here till I get to see you again at the bridge. A test of my will and love for you. I wonder how you make it through a day knowing I mis you so much but I'm sure you know something I don't. You and all the other special animals that God made deserve a special place. Many times I think the Lord should have stopped his creation after he made the animals on the other hand, we learn so much from you and your unconditional love. Your sister is doing great. She's learning fast but still has a few issues. I know she realizes how much I mis you but love's me the same and has already accepted me as her daddy. Our journey is just starting and something tells me it will be quite different than the one you and I took. I've shared your story with as many people as I can and I still think it's the best way to keep your memory and sprit alive. Right now I feel sort of just lost and not much seems to matter. Feeling not feeling. Hope you know I'll always be just a heartbeat, tear, and prayer away from you. To you I wish you were back with me, to God I'm thankful he has you where I know your perfect and included in perfect love. I'm sorry I didn't give you that, I fell short and I think of that to. I'm tired of just being human and having human short falls. Take care my little puppy angel, celebrate your day but if you see me with a tear in my eye try to understand I'm not crying for your happiness, I'm just crying cause I still mis you so much. All my love, Daddy


November 30, 2010

My Dear Little Girl,

It's been a long time since I have wrote to you but always know your
Always in my heart and mind. It's moving day today and your sister is doing
fine. Your already there at the house. I'm going to try to have a little
memorial for you at church on the 12th. Your anniversary to the "bridge is coming
up and as usual it makes me very sad and unhappy your not with me but I know
your in a wonderful place just waiting for me to see you. I love you and miss you so
much. You will always be " my little girl". Love, your Daddy


December 6, 2011
My Dear Little Mandy
I'm here in Ames now and your sister is doing pretty well now. She has decided to use some of your ideas about getting food and other fun things. I'm sure you had something to do about that. Your support group is doing well here and daddy is trying very hard to fullfile the promise that i made to you just before you went to the bridge. It's quickly approaching your day of going to the bridge and it's been almost three years since we had to part. I know I will see you again and that my life begins when it ends here on earth. Just be sure you help all the new "Bridge Kids" that come to you and keep all of the people left behind in your heart. I'll do the best I can to help them through the ruff times but I know it mostly depends on them. Merry Christmas my little girl. Daddy loves you and misses you.

December 22nd, 2012
Dear Little Girl
It's been three years since we had to say good-bye. At least for a little while. Many things have happened since then but the one thing that hasn't changed is that I miss you very much. You were than and always have been my rock and best friend here on earth. Sometimes I feel like Jesus not only sent you but became part of you to help me when I needed help the most. This year I will celebrate not only your life with me but also renew my love to both you and Jesus as my way of coping with this horrible thing called life here on earth. I know my life begins when it ends so just keep a close look out for me when I meet you at the bridge. I'm hoping that God will grant me my wish of seeing you and Jesus together because both of you are the ones who've really been there for me, all the time. Merry Christmas little girl and have all your friends sing, "Silent Night" for me and dad. I love you. Daddy







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