Marilyn, my sweet kitty angel, you have only been gone from us for a day but we miss you terribly and have been grieving ever since.|
I remember so vividly the day that I found you at the "Kitty Orphanage". I wanted a kitten, and I recall spending hours trying to find one. I finally picked you because of how loving you were to all the other cats, grooming them, loving them, and showing them affection. Even though you were not the kitten I had originally gone for and were already over a year old, there was something very, very special about you.
I took you home in a little cardboard cat carrier, which I still have. As I was getting all of your paperwork, I recall seeing a poem there that brought tears to my eyes, about a pet passing away after a long and loving life relationship with its owner, and that kept coming back to me over and over yesterday and brought more tears every time it did.
I brought you home and we were instant friends. Since you were found on a movie lot by the shelter and had those "blonde" calico streaks and the little thing that looked like a "birthmark" by your nose, I named you "Marilyn" (after Monroe). I remember holding you in my arms and loving you, telling you I would never ever let anyone hurt you or any harm come to you. You stayed with me through five separate homes and thank you for the gift of unconditional love and affection through all the tough days.
A few weeks later, Leepy joined us. A newborn kitten taken from his mother too soon and who ended up in our care, you were such a loving and caring "surrogate mother" to him and his companion for 12 years. He misses you so much already; he has not left my side and he seems to share my pain and grief over having to say goodbye to you. It broke my heart watching him come over and nuzzle you before I took you to the Emergency Animal Hospital yesterday and it still does seeing him walk around looking and crying for you. I felt so bad for you and just wanted to love you as much as I could to save you.
I miss seeing you and Leepy curled up giving each other a bath on the bed or the couch. There is a huge void and empty space on the corner of the sofa where you greeted me every night after the long and stressful days I had to work. When I woke up this morning, Leepy was curled up next to my chest but the spot
Somehow, I think you knew. The day before, even though you seemed okay, you played the game of hiding in the cabinets where I couldn't find you. Were you trying to tell me you were tired and wanted to go home? I am sorry if you wanted to move on and were in pain and if I was being selfish by keeping you with me when you were still hurting when I could not let go. I never, ever would want you to suffer and would never have knowingly done anything to let you suffer. It was so hard to say goodbye but I hope you somehow heard me when I said I was sorry I had to let you go and that I loved you forever.
I want you to know I tried so hard to save you.....I hope you know how sorry I was when the money to keep you on life support ran out and there was nothing more we could do. I have cried more in the past 24 hours than I have in ten years over losing you. And I still cannot stop crying, even though I know you are okay and at peace and loved it just hurts so much.
When I pick up your ashes I will put them inside the little cardboard cat carrier I originally brought you home in so long ago and someday, when I die, I want you to be buried with me.
Farewell, you are already missed so so much and Leepy and I will remember you with the same unconditional love you showed us forever.