Welcome to Missy Mooshka's Rainbow Residency

Memories of Missy Mooshka

Hello my baby girl - Well it still has not sunk in that you are not with us here anymore - I remember so clearly the day I got you from the pet shop in England - You were all alone in there and I could not resist you. You loved to climb all over my stuff and thats how you got your name Missy because when I got into trouble I was called Missy - I have been looking at photos of you when you were a baby and photos of you last year when you came out of the vets all happy and went out in the sunshine - You were there for me through everything and we moved alot didnt we, but we finally found a lovely home in Ireland. You were a good girl never going into the road.When you climbed high on my shelves or cupboards you told me when you wanted to come down. I always remember how you stretched your front paws onto my shoulder. I remember when you came into the car with me and liked lying around my neck. It was you and me at the start in my apartment. All my friends loved you. Then after a year or so we moved to be with my sons father. Then when I came to visit Ireland we found Mannix. Oh boy you did not like him as he chased you alot. I hope he is behaving himself with you there now. We then got many other cats over the years and you outlived many. Muffy, Chester, Meela, Molly and Milo, Suzie, Pretty, Misty, Handsome, Charlie and many others which we can chat about later. Of course I loved them all but you were my first baby who I had for so so long. you loved choccie remember? you would try and steal it from me but I know it is not good for you but sometimes you got a tiny piece. Was very funny how you liked the choccie off the malteser. I loved when you would ly above my head when I was in bed or you would wake me up and just star at me until I got up and fed you. I am sorry you did not really like the other cats and I wish sometimes I shut them away so you could sleep on my bed in peace, althogh sometimes you did come up. I was so scared 3 weeks ago when the vet said your lungs were not great but you improved and I got you home. Something told me to make a bed for me and you in the kitchen so we could be as one at night. I know you liked that - But I saw over one week you losing so much weight and I know you tried to eat. Last Monday when I woke and saw your face, it was terrible and I knew we had to take you back to the vets. I hated leaving you there on a drip and with strangers - but you know honey they saved you last March and I had extra time with you. I wish I could have more and more. I thank you for comming into my dream the night I buried you. Everyone is very sorry and I am getting emails about you and even making new friends from this site. I hurt so bad my darling and want to be with you but I must take care of the other 5 here and the two dogs and of course my son. He is very sad and being good with me as he knows mummy is hurting - I dont want to do anything and dont think this pain will ever go away. I am thinking shall I get a cat that looks like you - not to replace you but the house is empty without you. Maybe you can help me decide _ i am looking at unwanted piccies of cats at rescue shelters - one especially looks just like you but its a boy and 8 months old - I want a tiny one like when I got you and a girl - but then I am sure I will be sent the right one - Muffy seems a little down since you are gone and Blackie has been very affectionate. She comes under my covers like you did and I do love her, but the bond you and me had is a first love - You taught me how to take care of felines and you were one hell of a good cat to have for me to learn how to take care of you. I am tired from crying but the water keeps appearing. Missy Mooshka I love you and I hope you are happy there and you have some of the others. I hope my mum is looking after you while you wait for me- god I hope when I pass I am back with you and the others of course. I will write soonxxxx love you baby...mwahhhhhh 19th March 2012 - Oh god Missy, it is not getting any easier without you . i have been reading stories of people who have recently lost their babies - why does this have to happen? - You were so well for so manyyears and then we had that scare ast yr and you got better so quickly - MIssy I do not come on here as much as i find it so so hard, but then i feel guilty that i do not write here . I just dont know how i will ever get over the fact that after 17 yrs you are not with me anymore - if i only knew for sure i would see you when i die, maybe it would lesson the pain - I am crying so much the last few days, for a time i denied you were gone - but then of course i have to face it that you are not here, it is so so hard without you - i thankgod i have the two new babies, one who looks just like you, but i have noded with both of them and they give me so much love - i know one day i will cry over them - i still have not taken the little bits of litter fromt he bed you slept in and Mooshka who looks like you seems to like sleeping int hat bed sometimes. I miss you my darling girl, please come see me inmy dreams, i have been asking for a while now, i really need to see youxxx 3/2/12 - 11.24pm - I am thinking of you yet again and still cant believe you have been aken from my arms - i am feeling so guilty tonight that you stayed in the kitchen alot away from the other cats the last few months - although i was always going up to and chatting to you - i am also looking at other kittens who need homes - i only wanted one but there are two who grabbed me, well one did but then i saw he came with a little girl - the lady emailed me tonight and will ring me Sunday - if you do not want me to have them that is fine - just let me know - I never can or want to replace you - I cant stop crying and I look at photos in disbelief that you are gone - i went to your grave twice today and i cant wait for the grass to grow on it and then i can get a little plaque for you, I put you by the rose bush as they are yellow roses and they were my mums favourite - i probably told you before before I am all over the place - your bed is still in the kitchen as i cant bare to wash it yet, not that it is dirty, but it has your last smells - Darling Missy come back to me in my dreams and say hello - i would love to see your face again and be able to touch youxxxx chat to you soon my bestest girl, love you, you know i love you i told you all the time, and Thomas misses you - he does not say much but i think he is trying to be strong for his mum and be the man of the house - he is 14 soon so is trying to be a man now haha - i do not want to go to sleep cos i will wake up and for a split second i will forget your are gone, then the pain will come back so strongxx 04/02/12 - 8.14 pm - Hi baby girl - I hope you had a nice day and really wish i knew you were happy somewhere - I havebeen thinkng of you all day - told my friend Irene what happened and i cried and she was very good - she has two kittens who are getting big and I wish, oh how I wish you were that age again. I dont want to stop writing to you as I feel it is the only way I can be with you - I still have not washed your bed or moved the last blanket you slept on, I cant bare it as I feel it is letting you go even more - Muffy cat is still a little sad - he came under my blanket this morning and blackie did the same the night before - I know on my death bed I will be thinking of you and hoping you are waiting for me and of course with al the others - Please try an dcome into my dreams so I can hold you again - love you sweety girlxx 4/02/12 - 11.42 - i am obssessed with you - u r the longest living being i had who loved me unconditionally - i am finding it worse tonight and still in denial u r gone i suppose - Missy please come back to me - i know u fought hard not to go and u ad the best chance with the vets but i feel guilty i lef tu there for two days, u got to see me for a short while each of those two days but i wish i had u home - love u so much and crying so my lungs and heart feel like they will explode - never thought th day i got u what a huge part of my life u wld be - baby girl please give the strength to not cry so much. Thomas i think is worried for me as I am not eating very well. i am trying thoughxxx 5/02/12 - 9.06 - i was crying today for you when a lady rang to tell me more about two 6 month old kittens looking for a home - we spoke for an hour and she sounded lovely and thinks i could be the right person for these two - one of them looks so much like you - i am not sure if they definitely want me to have them but i said i would drive the 3 hours to see them - Missy I miss you and this time last week was out last night together - i always hoped the vet made a mistake when he saw ur xray after being clear of everything last yr - I miss you so much darling - i have had so many people email me about you and i hope you are playing with their furry friends now - please come visit me when i sleep and let me know u r ok - I love you so muchxx 6/02/12 - 10.05pm - Hello darling - How are you - I was at college today trying to get through this last semester but i think of you all the time - i spoke t a lady who thinks she may have a 6 mth old tabby female who looks ike you but she needs to check - there are the other two i rang about but i just do not know and now i feel guilty for maybe taking the one kitten an dleaving the other two then feel guilty for wanting to get one that looks like you - I have made some friends on here and i hope their furry babies have met you as would be nice for you to meet them cos i am sure they are as nice as their owners - remember when you came into the bathroom this yr a layed on my dressing gown - I still have your bed unwashed - Daisy has slept on your blanket a few times - I thought i felt you last night and saw you but not sure if it was one of the other cats - please come and visit me - I love you Missy Moo - my friend is worried about his cat so please watch over here . i am finding it very hard, but will write to you always - night night beauty girlxxxx 8/2/12 - Hi sweetheart - i did write to you yesterday but for some reason what I wrote did not save - i was telling you about the dream i had and you were there and you rubbed up to me and there were people int he room and i was making sure they could see you and they said yes - i woke up feeling like it gave me some kind of peace - but it is only temporary. Today I made it through college again but as always thinking of you - i was speaking with two ladies in two different rescue centres and on Saturday i will be going up to meet reilly and leila and 2 other cats, both boys and brothers and look just like you - please help me choose - I have to have one that looks just like you as it makes me feel you are still here - I miss you darling - god how i miss youxxx 9/02/12 - 21.19 pm - Missy I miss you more today than ever if that is possible - One week you have been gone and it is starting to sink in that u r not comming back - i cant believe you are not here - Missy baby girl please let me wake up from this nightmare - You were a catyes but over 17 years what you went through with me is more than most humans - I am busy during the day but i cant stop thinking of you - i know they say time heals which it may only because i have to be focussed and strong for the others - but there will never be a night before i got to sleep and think of you - Life will never ever be the same without ou - u r like my mum was, one of a kind - I cannot write too much when i come to say hello in here as it is so hard - i so hope u r ok and i wish i knew where you were - i wait for you to come and visit me in my dreams - Love youxxx 10/02/12 - 19.11 - Hi darling - how are you - have you settled in? I dreamt abut you being at the vets last night - woke up and remembered you were not here - i met th elady whose sister has those two kittens - she is very very nice - and it is thanks to you i met her - now tomorrow we will head up to see the kittens - god i hope the boy cat is like you - I will write to you with the news - now i f i do not write tomorrow is because we could be home late - i hate the fact i know tehre may be days i do not say hi - but please remember just cos i do not write here does not mean i dont love u - every time i leave the house i know your body is buried in our garden - miss you and always willxx 12/02/12 - 13.22 - Hi sweetheart - how are you - I hope you did not see me crying at your grave - well I went on a ong drive yesterday to Galway - before we got there we stopped at another animal rescue centre and saw lots of cats - some of them were very scared the poor mites - We then met Reilly and Leila - oh Missy the boy cat looks so much like you and rubs his nose into mine like you used to - i slept downstairs with them and Max the boy cat like you was with me alot - They will always remind me of you as they are only here because you had to leave me - I hope you are ok where you are - i am still trying to believe you are not here and i cant - i keep thinking you are away for a short time and then comming back - thank you for comming into my dreams again and it was so nice to have the huge cuddle with you - please come againxxx 13/02/12 - 23.02 - Hi sweetheart - I missed you so much yesterday but got busy at college today- it stopped my tears but not my thinking of you - I dreamt of lots of cats/kittens last night and wonder were they some you maybe with now - Max and Holly are settling in very well - I look at Max and my god he is so like you. Thank you for sending them to me, they make me anTom smile. I love you and remember your deep in my heartxxx 20/02/12 - Hi baby girl - i am sorry i have not written. I have been to your grave and talking to you though and hope you can hear me- I have goodish days and really bad days. last night i cried lots. i miss you here, i miss cuddling you. I wish you would come into my dreams again as it has been a while now. Max cat looks so much like you an di sometimes forget it is not you. I hope you are enjoying your new home and god how i wish i knew you were happy where you are and getting lots of attention and love - hopefully my mum is minding you whilst i have to continue here. Love you sweety girl - sweet dreamsxx 1/03/12 - HI SWEETHEART - a month today u lost you and it still hurts so much - I am not writing on here as much as i am finding it very hard at the moment and feel by talking to you at home helps maybe hav eu closer - i just cannot accept u r gone from me. The only things that change evryday is it is another day you are not with me - i am keeping very busy with college and my son and all the other animals here - but you have left such a big hole and it cannot be replaced - i am in denial righ tnow and think this is why i do not cry as much, although while i type this the tears are falling. Oh Missy how is it lovely creatures like you cannot stay with us longer, it is not fair. I love our two new cats and many time when I see Mooshka i htink he is you - it does not help that he looks like you but somehow helps me to pretend that he is you. I love you and so wish i knew where you were and you do know how much i miss you. Love you darlingxxx 13/03/12 - 21.47 - Hi Mooshka girl - O have stayed away from writing here for a while and talked to you in other ways. but then i felt guilty i have not put down in words how i feel - I have come on here tonight and it makes it more real you are gone - i think I ave been in denial teh last few weeks . I am balling here as i write to you cos you cannot be gone surely i will wake up and this wil be a very bad nightmare like the ones i usedt have about losing you, but then i woke and you were here. this time you are not - god Missy I miss you and just cant accept you are not here. You were so well and then all of a sudden bang you got sick. I have the two new babies a si told you and they r very happy cats and i do love them, but then i feel bad again as you are my baby girl. Life is so unfair and even if i had you here for 5o years it would not be enough. I am so busy with college now but i know when it all stops i will have more time to realise you are not here - but Missy you are another reason that i want to get back into animal rescue, cos every animal should be loved and cared for as much as i did with you - i am stil so glad i spent that last week in the kitchen with you where it was me and you. i wa shoping it was not the last week but my instinct kept telling me it was serious. I feel bad you were in the vets for those last two days, but then if i kept you home u may of suffered more and they did assure me they did what they could. Please come and c me in my dreams, you have not come in there for weeks now - i love you so so much my darling, and i really do hope i am with you when i die. never for one monute think i dont love you anymore. time heals but time also fades the feel of your touch. God i love you and hate i only had for for almost 17 years. but i must be thankful i had that time as many dont make it to that age, s till not fair. i am rambling now. so listen you be sure to come see me and i wish i knoew that u were ok. dont think i will ever be able to let you go completely,xxxx 27/3/12 - 21.52 - MIssy Moo, how are you darling - I have not had a good week at all - was very sick the last week and had to take a few days out of college - I hope you have heard me when i have chatted to you. Missy I still cannot accept you are gone - I miss you so much and talk about you often. I look at Mooshka and still think he is you - I wish I could have those 17 years back with you and also feel so lucky i had you for so long - i dont think i will ever be the same now. A part of me died when you had to go and i feel like it has gone with you - Missy will you please come back to me and let this be a bad bad dream, and let it be that you are one of those cats that live right into their late twenties. I hate life sometimes and have lost so many people and animals in my life, and now i find it hard to get that happy, especially since you ahve gone. yes i may laugh sometimes but every night I think of you and all i have lost - i am beginning to do some spiritual things and a man said i need energy healing so hopefully that will help - i want to live on earth for many years and make sur emy son is ok and all the other animals, but the other half of me cant wait to die int he hope i can see you again and everyone else who has passed. Missy pleased dont be mad that i dont write much - every time i write here it is making me remember you are not here. I love you so so so so much, please come and visit me, let me know you are ok. i love you darling Mooshkaxxxx 1st May - Hi sweetheart - This is the first time i have written on here for a while - i hope you have heard me talking to you though and visiting your grave - today is 3 months since i had to say bye bye - i have really missed you. me and my son was watching videos the other day and you were in some of them, Tom was a baby and you were young and had all those years ahead of you - oh god where did they go? - i keep telling myself things will get better without you, but although i am busy, there is never a day i dont think about you and i wont ever either - you were too much a part of my life. Missy i neevr thought this time last year when you cam eout of the vets so healthy that i would be writing here now. Its not fair! - The two babies i got after you left me are doing fine - they are very affectionate and without them the house would be too quiet so they have helped us fill a little part of the hole you have left in our hearts. My head is still telling me that you are comming back to me, still cannot accept what happened. I so hope me mum is minding you for me and you are happy where you are, and if you are wondering about me, i am ok sweetheart - i just live in the hope and faith that we will meet again when my time comes. Love you so very very much Missy Mooxxx 25/05/12 - 10.45am - Missy Mooshka, how are you baby girl? - Do you know how much of a hole you have left - I miss you so much and just cannot believe this time last year you were here and now you are gone - I thank you for comming into my dreams alot the last few weeks and hope you are happy where you are - it is the not knowing where you and all the other babies have gone that makes me sad. Well, i have now finished my degree and the holidays are here and already I am finding i am down alot - Iwish you were here and you were young again - me and tom were watching some old videos the other week and you were in them. Where did the years go baby girl? I love you so much Missy, and i hope you are ok, and say hello to all the others for me, Miss you. I just dont know what to say to you today. I look at your grave and simply cannot believe you are not here. Please come visit me again soon ok. Bye for now xxx 3/7/12 - 2.50pm - Hey Missy Mooshka - how are doing? I know i have not written for a long time on here but it is just as hard doing so as the first day i had to believe you were gone from my lap. I am missing you soo much and still cannot believe you are not here. Mooshka and Holly who I got after you left this earth are doing ery well - they are very loving and Mosshka who looks just like you gives me kisses the way you did and many other things the same as you. Sometimes I look at him and for a few seconds I think he is you - i would like to think your spirit went into his but i will never know will i? Daisy who dont like the other cats has bonded with the two new ones so by bringing them into my home daisy has playmates who she loves. I still cannot believe how quick the time goes and that your heart had to stop beating for me - i hope you are happy where you are and know that i miss you so much - i am crying like mad here now writing this and this is another reason i do not come on here so much cos it is so painful - i hope you have heard me talking to you as i do everyday. Please come into my dreams again soona s it has been a while. i love you my queen girl, love u love u love u - miss u miss u miss u.xxxx 18/7/12 - 21.47 - MIssy i thought about u even more today and cried so much - finding it so hard to accept u r not here for me to cuddle. please please come and visit me. vicki lost tinka the last week and is very upset - i hope u meet her. i miss u honey and the days that go by has not made it any easier January 2nd 2013 - Hi Missy Moo. Sorry I have not written on here in a very long time, but I had to move away from it because it hurt me so much. You know I talk to you and have your photo in the bathroom so I can see you when I get ready. It feels like yesterday when you were here and the pain has not gone away one bit and never will. I adore you and miss you so much and just do not know how to fill this big gap in my heart. The two babies I adopted a week after you left me are still here and you would be proud of them as they give great comfort, although they bully 2 of the other cats. Holly flys like a monkey and loves the dogs, You never met our new dog Marley, he is a handful for sure and I know you would of smacked him a few times as you took no nonsense. The other new baby Mooshka who I got because of loosing you and who looks like you does the kisses on my nose like you used to. He is a pure pet and I always think of you when he is with me. But Missy, I can never find anyone to replace you as you were my queen and we did so much together didn't we? You were there when there were no other animals in my life and remember the first few places we lived, where it was just you and me? Thank you for visiting me in my dreams from time to time and I hope you keep popping in from time to time. Love you so much baby girlxxxxx February 2nd 8.45pm - Hello my darling girl _ I was thinking so much of you this week while i was away and it was hard to enjoy myself because i knew that this time last year was a week from hell when i knew i was losing you. Yesterday was your anniversary and I was so upset, I could not write on here but just talk to you and look at your photo in my bathroom. I cannot believe it is a year since we had to say goodbye and there is never a day goes by i do not think of you - God Missy, where did our time go? I wish I could reverse time and have you back here. The two babies I adopted after you left me are doing very well and they both give me so much love and it makes me happy that i gave them a home after no one cared for them when they were very young and helpless. I hope you are happy where you are and I hope to god i see you again xxxx

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