|My Dear Beloved, Adored Mittens, I raised you from a darling five-week old rescued kitten, a purring bundle of black & white fur. I miss you so, I adored you, you could say "Mama" to me. You would look at me with those beautiful amber eyes and instead of "meow" you could say "Mama" - my mom heard you say "Mama". When I was doing dishes, you loved to climb up my bluejean-clad leg & since I'm 5"9" you had quite a climb for a little guy. you loved to climb up my leg all the while starring into my eyes as if to say "watch me mommy, watch me climb"...then you would sit on the counter & bat your kitten-paw at the soapsuds. As you got older, if I was late getting home from work you would worry & always upchuck because I was late & you were worried or fretting. You never upchucked when I was home from work on time. You loved Long John Silver's fish & I would buy it for you & remove the fish from the batter coating, you'd sit & watch & chatter as if to say hurry up mom, that looks & smells yummy. We also learned to "communicate" with our eyes, you'd slowly close & open your eyes while looking directly into my eyes, & I would then do the same. We'd do this back & forth for five or six times, I'd say I love you Mittens, & close & open my eyes, & you'd do the same & "chatter" to me. I will never ever get over you Mittens, you are in my heart & in my thoughts every day. My heart hurts so much with the pain of missing you. Mittens, please, please forgive me, I was only trying to help your Thyroid disease by giving you the medicine your vet prescribed, but in reality the high doseage of the prescribed Tapazole medicine eventually killed you. Candace your vet killed you - she never told me the risks of the medicine and/or that you needed your blood checked every 6 months while on the medicine, I didn't know to ask. Your bloodwork, for a 17 year old kitty was phenomonal, no kidney or liver disease whatsoever. I killed you. Please, please forgive me, Mittens. You were laying on the lower right hand side of the bed, that morning. I knew you were sick, your pink pads were white, tapezol depleted all your red corpusels. I kissed you & with a heavy heart I drove to work, but I couldn't go on, I knew - I turned around & came back & we went to the vet's office, I knew it was the end, you were suffering. The vet said you would probably go into convulsions, you were so weak because your blood pressure was so low, from the damage the Tapezol did to your blood. The euthansia was hell - as a result of the 24 months of Tapezol, twice a day your blood pressure was so very low that the euthansia medicine didn't move through your system. It literally "laid" in your veins. I heard the vet say she administered enough to put down a large animal. You were so 'scared' I had the vet give you a shot to calm you down, but it was a shot that quickly puts cats in their sleep for surgery, so I never, ever got to tell you goodbye, that I loved you & was only trying to help end your suffering. You laid there on the table, asleep, but not dead. Your eyes were open though, but you didn't see me. Your bp was so low, the euthansia medicine still didn't take effect so they had to do a cardiac stick to stop your heart. I let you down. My precious, precious boy :( You came into my life at the height of my diagnosed depression, & you loved me no matter how bad I looked or felt. You adored your Mommy, as I adored you as my fur child. How can I forgive myself, we didn't say bye Mittens. I clipped & have some of your fur in an envelope. Mittens, I have 18 other cats here, that depend upon me for my love & care & vet care & they get the very best money can buy, as I thought you did. As much as I adore them & love them, you were & are the love of my life, & always will be. I'm so sorry, Mittens. I love you, Mittens. Can you forgive me? I hope there are no Tears in Heaven because there are tons of them here. Please forgive me Mittens, Oh my perfect God in Heaven,forgive me. Please, oh, please Mittens forgive me. Bye my beloved, beloved, my adored fur-child, My Adored, My beloved, My Mittens, My Boy. Mittens it is 4/24/2012 - I miss you more than ever, Please forgive me; I am still your mommy and I let you down; A day doesn't go by that I do not think of you. My Boy, My Boy.|
Mittens's People Parent(s), Donna, would appreciate knowing you have visited their Mittens's Memorial Residency.