Nikki Devin Noel --- came into my life in September 1996. I got her for my husband as an early Christmas gift but instead Nikki and I found a special love for each other.|
I was so blessed and priviledged to be graced with this love so special and unconditional.Nikki was my baby, my biggest girl, my boo boo, my soulmate. When I think of her I thank God for the years that Nikki and I had together. What an amazing time in my life.
Nikki had a way about her that made even the non dog lovers love her. She could make a person do anything just to be her friend. I remember a good friend of ours laying on my dininng room floor for 2 hours with a doggie bone in his mouth just trying to get Nikki to be his friend. I think she really wanted the bone but was enjoying watching him look silly laying on the floor. Funny thing was after that 2 hour time span they were friends for life. So many times Nikki would lay outside and her dad would call her and call her and she would ignore him then glance over as if to say "Your not my mom!" If anyone wanted to be Nikki's Friend all they really had to do was ask her if she wanted a "cookie". But when they did they needed to stand back because she would run full tilt at you just for a cookie. My girl and I had our very own special trick too. I would ask her "where's your thumper?" and Nikki would start thumping her tail. When she got older she did't do this very often but the day she left to go to the bridge I ask her "where's your thumper baby?" and she thumped her tail. Nikki had so many favorite things but some of the most memorable to me are her pink baby. She had it for her entire 9 1/2 yrs we shared. I placed her pink baby with her when we laid her to rest. Nikki loved bread and her love for cheese was so cool. Her dad would always tell her "Oh the power of cheese" and she would give him kisses.
Nikki taught me so much about life and how to enjoy the simpler things life has to offer. She taught me how to really enjoy a lazy summer day and to stop and smell the fresh air and to see the beauty in things I normally would over look. Nikki taught me to trust and to have faith in God but most of all she taught me that love is unconditional.
The end to Nikki's life came quickly and without warning. In 3 short days my biggest girl was gone.
On April 25, 2006 Nikki was diagnosed with Thoraco Lumbar Spinal disorder. This means Nikki's spine wasn't working correctly. She also had some type of neurological disorder. My girl suffered from Progressive Para Paresis. Which is simply hind limb weakness. Nikki was also having some serious issues with her hips.Nikki could no longer lift her big Great Dane body and walk proudly like all Danes should.She was still battling cancer at this time too. I wished so many times that at least 1 of these things would have been found early but they all just hit her at once. I loved my best friend and I cried when I realized her quality of life was gone and she was no longer happy. I knew this was not the life for a beautiful Dane like her I had to make the hardest decision of my life on April 27,2006 when her vet came to my home and helped Nikki to pass peacefully to the Rainbow Bridge. I did not want to send my baby back to our creator but I knew in my heart it was the greatest gift of unconditional love I could give my girl. Nikki passed peacefully at 12:15 and was surrounded by her furbrother and fur sisters, and of course by her mom and dad. We were telling her how very brave she was and how much we loved her and would miss her and thanked her for being such a special part of our lives.
Because of Nikki I am a better person. I know my biggest Boo Boo is now my guardian angel. She will always live in my heart and my memory.
Nikki you taught me when you pass from this world you don't really die. You may leave your earthly body and it is turned to dust but you will forever live within me because you left part of your soul with mine. Nikki I know someday I will see you again in God's perfect time. You will be waiting for me at the rainbow bridge and I will hold your big head once more and look into those soft gentle brown eyes and we will cross into God's kingdom together.
I love you my bridge kid !!!!
Love forever MOM
Happy 16th birthday my love....I miss you so very much and I love you with all my heart ...still
Hi baby, your on my mind today. It really hard for me to believe in one short month you will have been gone for 6 yrs. Life hasn't been the same girl. I work so hard to try to keep the empty space filled that you left behind but that doesn't work. Simply said girl ...I miss you so much. Actually as much today as I did the day you left me. I will always love you girl remember that. Enjoy the warm sunshine of the bridge and send me bridge smooches whenever you can. Love you always with all my heart.
7/31/2011 Happy 15th Birthday my love. I know you are celebrating with your sisters and brother (wow that is odd to say) and all the other furkids and angels. What a celebration it will be. Please know in my heart I am there with you celebrating. I miss you sweet one. And above all I love you with all my heart forever. Happy Birthday Nikki !!!!! Love mom
4/27/2011 My bigget girl....what can I say, you know I love you and you know I miss you,but I tell you that anyway. Today it has been 5 years since you left me and with each passing year I knew I would be ok with you as my angel watching over me. The years passed and I settled into a routine with your brothers and sisters. I faced each April 27th knowing in my heart you are ok at the bridge. But somehow this April 27th is so different than the others. 5 years is a very long time and for some reason I can feel the pain of your loss deeper than I have before. It's the raw feeling of a fresh loss. Maybe it's because we as mere humans always seem to measure important dates in groups of 5. Like 5 yrs, 10yrs 15yrs.....whatever. I am not saying we don't remember every year, but 5's seem more important. That my biggest girl only goes to show you how humans think. To be honest baby humans are not very smart. I always thought I was different but I guess I am not. I do think of you at some point every single day of my life. 365 days a year I remember with love and smiles and laughter. Today, your day, will be no different. I do not believe you are in that grave.....your earthly shell is there, but your spirit is at the rainbow bridge....forever healthy and forever free..... I love Nikki and I always will.................
7/31/2010 Happy 14th Birthday my love, I bet you thought I forgot..........NEVER !!!! By now kiddo you have your Sophie with you an JJ. Take care of her baby and let her know that I love her and miss as much as I do you and JJ.
Now I hear there is a party at the bridge today and your the honored guest. Be sure to say thank you and share your cupcakes and don't let Jaycee eat to many, you know what sugar does to her :D Anyway baby I am leaving you a gift. DO you know what it is? I will tell you the gift is whatever you wish for the most wrapped with my love for you. Be a good girl and remember I will always miss you and love you !!!!
Run free, play hard, and sleep in the angels arms until I see you again......... Happy Birthday Baby
4/27/10 Another year has passed baby and I still miss you with every ounce of my heart and soul. The days are easier now but not a day goes by that I don't think about you. We speak of you often and the memories always bring smiles. I just find it hard to believe you have been in paradise for 4 yrs now. I fixed your resting place today and I thought of how you and Jaycee are having the best time being together again. I stopped to today and looked at the clear blue sky at 12:15 and I thanked you for being part of my life and I thanked God for letting you be part of my life. I have been truely blessed to be able to experience such unconditional love. So now until the day I join you on April 27th of each year I will stop whatever I am doing and remember you my love. God be with you now and forever.
I Love you
As I set here baby looking back on the memories of our life together I can't help but smile. You were the love of my life, your gentleness and ever present happy outlook brought me so much happiness. My life has been forever changed in 2 ways. The 1st is knowing there such as thing as unconditional love. I know that no matter what I do now in life and whom I meet, there was one creature in this world who loved me for who I am, with all my quirks and moods. That was you my big girl. The 2nd way my life was changed was to know the pain and the heartache of losing something that meant the world to me. But through that pain I found a very deep faith. I found myself believing in a place a I only dreamed about. A place I know you are at now healthy and whole. A place I know that someday I will see you and again. A place where I can hold that big head of yours and look in those soft gentle brown eyes and feel that love all over again. A place where we can set on a hill in the grassy fields in the warm sunshine and look to eternity together. That place is the rainbow bridge.
See my love today marks the anniversary of the last full day we got to be together. Tomorrow it will be 4 yrs since I set you free you earned your reward , although it hurt so much to let you go. I know you will pave the way for me to join you someday. But until then this is your journey, your next phase of life. Your chance to shine. You know Nikki you will always be my 1st love, my soulmate. As the song says, "I could have missed the pain, but then I would have had to miss the dance." To you baby and the dance we shared........... I love you forever
You never stop amazing me my big girl and when you visit, it may not be often but when you do visit you make it so very clear to me. Like today girl..... I am glad you came. See Nikki only you and your daddy knew that I have always been haunted by not having your collar. See baby so many times in chat people would talk about their babies collars and I never said a word. Only because the day I released you my heart was so broken and we removed your collar, (because at the bridge you do not need them) and I had not been able to find it since. Well kiddo today when Allie and I walked we stopped at your grave and I talked to you and Jaycee for a while. I could almost feel you there. Listening to every word. Then Allie and I continued the rest of the way around the field and back towards the house and she kept looking back. I thought nothing of it. As we made our way back in the garage your daddy was cleaning stuff out and he said "here's a box of dog stuff" As I looked through the box of toys and leashes and collars there on the bottom was your beautiful purple collar. Still attached was your last set of tags. And to my suprise it was still covered with your hair from spring shedding. I knew right then you were there and you wanted me to find your collar. You were what allie was looking back at as we walked ..... you were walking with us..... I just know in my heart this is true baby. Thank you for being here today. I picked the hair from your collar and it is now safely tucked in a baggie and kept with Jaycee's. I never thought I would have any of your fur. It is so special to me my love.
I love you my biggest girl and I miss you with all my heart and I always will.
7/31/09 Happy Birthday biggest girl !!! Wow you would have been 13 today. Your so grown up :) I hear you are going to have cake and ice cream....lucky you . Be sure to share with Jaycee you know how bashful she can be LOL (not) I do hope you two are having a great reunion. Jaycee missed you so much when you left us. I think she really wanted to go and be with you. You are such a great big sister. Anyway love make sure you look down here at some point and see your balloons on your grave. I love ya kiddo with all my heart and I miss you always.
07/02/2009 My love I am visiting you with the most hurt I have felt since you left me. See today your fursister Jaycee will be joining you at the bridge. The tears just won't stop kiddo. Daddy is making all the arrangements now. I just couldn't do it. Please biggest girl be waiting there for Jaycee. You know how confused my baby girl gets sometimes. She will be thrilled to see you again. Jaycee was never the same after you left her. I think that was when she really started to give up. Gather the bridgekids and welcome her with open paws my love.
6/11/09 Hi Sweetie, I am visiting you tonight with a broken heart.... I wanted to tell you baby that your baby sister Jaycee will be joining you very shortly at the bridge. See Nikki, Jaycee has bone cancer in her leg and back, just like you did kiddo. I am not sure when she will be there with you but it will be soon. Tell the other bridgekids Nikki, and please welcome her with open paws. I know she won't be afraid with you there. She has always missed you. Now I am going to miss my girls!!!! I love you Nikki and I miss you so much.
04/27/09 Three years ago today at 12:15 I said my last I love you forever and a heart of gold stopped beating. Nikki was gone and had forever become my bridge kid. I remember the day like it was yesterday.... I wish I could say April 27, 2006 started like any other day but it didn't . I woke up laying on my living room floor with Nikki. We had just spent our last night together. I wasn't sure how to face the day because I knew that at 7:00 pm my vet would gently help Nikki to the rainbow bridge. I woke my hubby and kids up and everyone began their day as Nikki and I sat together on the floor of the living room. This is where I had decided to spend my day. That Thursday looked like it was going to be a glorious spring day. The sun was shining brightly with a brilliant blue sky for a backdrop. There was just enough nip in the early morning air to remind you it was still early spring. I watched as the kids got ready for school and came in the room to tell Nikki they loved her and would see her after school, both kids gave her a huge hug. Little did I know at that point they would never see there big great dane friend again. Lane came in and gave me a kiss and Nikki a big hug and kiss too. He promised he would only work 1/2 a day so the afternoon could be spent spoiling our biggest girl. Suddenly with everyone gone the house was quite and empty. Even though the other fur kids were running around and playing. Then I noticed Nikki watching them and their every move. She would try to woof at them and I know she was trying to say be careful, settle down... but she just didn't have the energy. I sat there loving my big girl until almost 9:00 before I got up to get dressed and try to face what kind of day it was going to be for me. I kept telling myself as I got in the shower that this was Nikki's day and I would fill it with everything she loved. I promised her we would share donuts and ice cream and I intended to live up to that promise. My mind was wondering aimlessly when I was getting dressed and suddenly I heard a loud yelp coming from the living room. I jumped up and ran because I knew that sound came from Nikki. When I got there what I saw is etched forever in my mind . Nikki was still laying on the floor and she was shaking. Nikki had massive amounts of blood coming from her nose and she had peed all over herself and the floor. I began to cry because I didn't know what had happened to her so suddenly. I knew the vet was pretty sure she had some type of cancer again and I knew she couldn't get up and walk but I didn't know what was happening to her now. I grab a towel and I started to wipe the blood off her face and I kept telling her it was ok mommy wasn't mad at her . She just keep looking at me with those soft gentle brown eyes as if to say "I am so sorry mom" I called the vet and I know his whole staff knew how much my heart was breaking .... They put me straight through to him. His voice was soft, gentle and kind .... He asked me if Nikki's nose bleed was coming from both sides or just one. I told him it was only coming from the left side. He explained that this was now the final stage of Nikki's life and her battle with cancer. He said she would soon be feeling pain and I could not let that happen. He suggested that we send Nikki on her way sooner. My heart sank and the tears were flowing so freely as they are right now...... I had to do what was right. I called Lane home and we decided the kids did not need to be there it would be better for them. Since my time with Nikki was coming to and end sooner I decided to go on with my plans for "our" day. Nikki had not eaten in 2 days she had no desire too. But I was going try anyway. We carried Nikki out to her favorite place to rest in the warm sun. Under the hickory tree. Her daddy brought out "our" powder sugar donuts and each of us a dish of ice cream. I guess Nikki knew this was the last food we would share together ...with the blood still dripping from her nose and us telling her she was still beautiful she ate the donuts and licked the ice cream dish clean. We cleaned our biggest girl up and brushed her coat to perfection. Then we got out the camera and we took our final pictures of us with Nikki. Dr. Metha arrived just as he promised he would at Noon. He saw what he described a perfect picture of unconditional love. He bent down and told Nikki how sorry he was he couldn't help her get better this time. He told her she was a good girl and she has left him with so many memories and he never met a dog that showed him just how close to a human they can be. He patted her head and gave her a small kiss on the head and looked at us with tears in our eyes and asked if we were ready. No I wasn't ready I knew I never would be but I also knew I had to do what was right. Suddenly each dog came over and one by one they brushed noses with Nikki. And I watched as each one laid down about 10 feet from her all in a row. Lane and I knelt down and we told Nikki we loved her so much and we would ALWAYS love her. We kissed her and held her and cried . Then Dr. Metha said with tears in his eyes she was gone. Time of death 12:15.
I love you my biggest bridge kid and I always will.
I miss you sweet girl.
7/31/08 Happy Birthday Biggest Girl. Did you see you balloons and all the flowers I place on your grave today. As I sat there thinking of all the birthdays we celebrated together I couldn't be sad but I couln't be happy either. I just sat and thought about you and how much fun you are having with coco and cole and bobo and lil man and shakka and all the others. Then I noticed something very strange..... Your dane fursister Jaycee had followed me out to your grave and she was laying there looking at your grave. Then when I left your grave I called Jaycee to come with me and she just continued to lay beside your grave. I walked back to the house and I watched Jaycee and she stayed there for a long time. She just laid beside you. Somehow I think she could feel your spirit was there and you were telling her some of your dane secrets and she was telling you how much we miss you. Anyway I bet the party is so much fun I can see it in my mind. Your tail is thumping big time. Enjoy the cupcakes and be sure to share ok. Have a good time sweetie.........until we meet again.
Love you forever Mom
4/27/2008 Well here it is baby 2 years.... Today is just like the day you left me the sun is shining and it is a warm spring day. It brings back so many memories of the day I helped you to the bridge. I just could not watch you or let you suffer anymore my love. I will always be grateful to Dr. Metha for coming here to help you on your final journey. He knew how afraid you were of his office and he had never gone to a persons house before. He was so gentle and kind to you and patient with me. Dad and I were both with you and each of your sisters and brother had the chance to be with you and say there final farewell. Kasey never left your side. I was amazed with her being only 6 months old at the time. She worshiped you. Our final morning together was so very special. We shared all your favorite things. I made sure we shared a bowl of ice cream (your favorite) How you licked up every last drop. It was the first thing you ate in 3 days. Then we had our powder sugar donuts. You gulped eveyone down. Funny how you wouldn't even touch them the night before. I think you knew it was time for you to leave this earth and you were finally at peace. Knowing you weren't scared made it so much easier for me. When the time finally came I tried to be brave and not let you see me cry. I held your big Dane head in my arms we were outside under the hickory tree.... your favorite place to lay in the sun. I whispered I love you so many times and you looked at me with those soft brown loving eyes and gave me a final kiss. Dad was crying too. His heart was breaking. He kept tell you he loved you and to be a good girl and we would see you again someday in God's perfect time at the rainbow bridge. Nikki I held you as you took you last breath of life and then Dr. Metha aid you were gone. You looked like you were sleeping peacefully and I knew you didn't hurt anymore. My love as the saying goes If love could have saved you ...you would still be here.
All these memories came back to me today as I visitied your grave and put some fresh spring flowers there. I miss you girl and I always will. But I know you are playing in the green fields and sleeping in the angels arms at night. I know you are safe and pain free. But most of all I know you are now that bright star at night in the heavens watching down over me. You are my guardian angel. I love you !!
Hi my love, well it's been a year today that I helped you to the bridge. It's been a hard day sweetie. I miss you so very much. I guess I thought I was doing ok even today I thought I would be alright just by knowing you are at the bridge and healthy again, but that changed. I went to your grave today, at noon and I stayed until 12:30. It was the excact same time that we said goodbye 1 year ago. I will be honest I could feel my heart breaking all over again. Nikki i really miss you so much and I wonder sometimes how I will make it without you. But I know in my heart we will be together again. I just know it baby. All in God's perfect time.
Well I must go kiddo just because if I stay longer the hurt will grow stronger. I love you baby. Be a good girl and enjoy the sunshine.
All my love all my life
I MISS HER
I miss stepping and tripping over her every morning when I get out of bed.
I miss opening the shower door to see her lying right outside the door, waiting for me.
I miss us going down the stairs, taking our time walking down the steps, to let her go outside and do her business.
I miss dog hair all over my clothes!
I miss Nikki being under the dining room table while we eat dinner.
I miss being in the kitchen at 5:15am filling her food and water bowl.
I miss Nikki standing over her dog bowl waiting for me to fill her bowl with food and water.
I miss that face she made to let me know, "Come on, I'm hungry."
I miss her coming over to me when I'm relaxing in my chair and nudging me to give her some love! Leaning on my leg, giving me a look of complete sadness, like no one ever pays any attention to her!
I miss our morning conversations.
I miss telling her I'll see her tonight and to keep an eye on the house and watch over the other kids for me.
I miss coming home and Nikki being all over me -- hair, toe nails and all the love she can give to me.
I miss her lying in between the kitchen and dining room doorway watching me make dinner.
I miss her when I drop food on the kitchen floor, which is all the time.
I miss her begging for food every time you have a plate or something in your hand.
I miss giving her "cookies."
I miss the excitement she had when you said the word "cookie."
I miss her running to the kitchen for her "cookies".
I miss her excitement to see me pickup her collar and leash.
I miss our drives to town.
I miss her excitement of just getting ready.
I miss her getting out of the car, smelling the ground and sniffing the air as if she had never been to town before.
I miss her happy smiling face and her bouncing tail as we walked through town.
I miss her excitement and enthusiasm at the small "happy" things.
I miss talking to her.
I miss relaxing with her.
I miss scratching her sides, butt, head and ears.
I miss putting my feet on her back, as she laid on the floor, and rubbing her back.
I miss her turning her head up to look at me and then placing it back down to enjoy the rub.
I miss her sticking her paw out from the couch in the early morning saying C-Ya after work Mom.
I miss sharing a pepperoni pizza with Nikki
I miss us watching a movie together.
I miss us doing laundry together.
I miss us going to Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone together.
I miss coming home to see her waiting on the front porch for me.
I miss sitting on the porch and just sharing quiet time.
I miss coming home to a 140 pound girl looking out the full length screen door -- her whole
body wagging from side to side with pure excitement, because I'm home.
I miss the other dogs getting out because Nikki could open the door an let herself out.
I miss my best friend. No husband, child or friend will ever replace that love that my Boo Boo gave to me. Unconditional!
I miss Nikki.
Please also visit JAYCEE and Sophie.