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Memories of Nikki

5/31/09 It has been 5 days since I got to hold you last and I'm completely devestated. I miss you so much. My heart aches every day every minute every second. I miss seeing you in the house laying in your favorite spots. I miss seeing you outside laying in the shade, I miss you sleeping next to me every night. I miss you talking to me.
I want you back so bad. Why did you have to get cancer. It's not fair!!!!! You are my baby girl and I will love you forever!!!
6/1/09 It has been a hard day today. I have thought about you ALL day!
6/2/09 I miss you SOOOO much Nikki. I can't believe how much I want to hug you right now. This has been the saddest week of my life.
6/5/09 People keep telling me that time will heal. I think as time goes by it gets worse. I miss you so much. I can't stand it. It's unbearable. I want so much to put my arms around you and give you hugs and kisses. I want to look into those beautiful blue eyes again. Oh my gosh Nikki, I miss you so much!!!! I love you immensely. I will never get over this.
6/9/09 I have your ashes now. I like knowing that you are home with me again. I still miss you so much. You are all that I think about. I am so sad!!!!
6/12/09 Hi pumpkin. Guess who is thinking about you, still!!! Every second.... I miss you so much. I always think about how happy you were to see me when I would get home. I want to know if you are happy or sad. I get sad thinking that you may be thinking that I don't love you anymore because you don't see me. I would always come and give you a kiss and a hug. I can't do that anymore... It breaks my heart everytime I walk in the door and I don't see you. I love you Nikki Poo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/15 Today was another bad day for me Nikki. I miss you so much. I'm so sad that I can't give you a hug. I want you back so bad!!!!!!
6/17 Hi baby girl. What I would do to be able to hug you again and see those beautiful blue eyes. I miss you so much!!!
6/27 Yesterday was the one month mark of not having you in my life. I miss you so much Nikki. I feel very lost without you. I'm always looking around the house for you. I want to see those blue eyes again. I love you so much and miss you dearly!! I still can't believe your gone.
7/8 Hi pumpkin. I miss you so much. I wish so much that you were still here with me. I think of you every second. It takes every ounce of me to function. I need you. I miss our hugs and your kisses. I miss your yelps. I miss you talking to me. You were a unique little girl and I miss everything about you. I'm so heart broken.
7/9 Hi baby girl. I love you and miss you so much!!!!!!
7/12 Hi Nikki poo. I just want you to know that I love you so much and I wish that I could give you a hug and a kiss. It's so quiet around the house without you. Koda doesn't talk like you used to. I miss that. You would talk to me about everything. My heart aches. I miss you pumpkin!!!
7/17 Hi pumpkin! I miss you. I still can't believe I don't have you anymore. I love you soooo much!!!!! Koda still misses you to. He keeps looking around the house for you. Remember he always used to wait for you to go outside. He is lost like me. I hope you have found Buddy, Whitney and TJ. I hope you are playing together again. I hope you aren't missing me as much as I'm missing you.
7/23 I love you so much Nikki and I miss you immensely. It's so hard for me to function. All I want to do is hug you and give you kisses. I feel bad for Koda. I should be happy that I still have him but you were my baby girl. It was you and me for 6 years. Then I got him because I thought you would like a playmate. Boy was I wrong. You did eventually warm up to him. Then you were best buds. You helped me through alot. Now I'm so sad without you. My heart aches everyday for you. When will the memories be happy and not so painful!!!!
7/28 Hi baby girl. I can't stop thinking of you. I wish so much that you were here with me. I love you and miss you so much!!!!!!!
8/2 Hi pumpkin. I wish you were here with me. I would do anything to be able to hug you and kiss you again. I want to hear your voice. I miss you so much.
8/5 Nikki poo I have thought about you so much today. I wanted so much to see you when I walked into the house today. I wanted to see you get up and do your little stretch and them come running to see me. I miss you so much. I still can't believe I don't have you anymore. My heart aches so much for you. I love you pumpkin!!!!!!
8/6 I miss you so much Nikki. I want so much to hug you again. I need to see you again!!! I have such a huge void in my life. You were EVERYTHING to me. I miss you baby girl!!!!!
8/12 My heart aches every day for you pumpkin. I miss you so much. I have a huge void in my life now that I don't have you. Your memories are still so painful. When will they be happy ones. I should feel blessed that I was able to have you in my life. You gave me so much joy!!! I love you so much. I hope you know that!!!!
8/15 My baby girl, I miss you so much! I wish so much I could see you again. I want you back in my life. I need you back in my life. It's just not the same without you. I love you my little blue eyed girl!!!
8/18 I keep looking around the house hoping I will see you. I miss you so much!!!! I love you pumpkin girl!!!!!
8/19 Hi pumpkin. I miss you and love you so much!!!!
8/24 Nikki, I miss you so much. What I would do to be able to hug you again. Your void in my life is killing me.
8/25 Nikki poo poo, I miss you. Not a day goes by that I don't cry. My heart aches for you. I still can't believe that you are gone. You were so much a part of my life and I can't believe that you aren't here with me anymore. I miss our talks. I miss your voice. You used to always talk to me. I miss you so much! My life will NEVER be the same without you.
8/28 Hi pumpkin. I ache for you. I miss you and love you so much!!!!
8/29 What I would do to hear you again. What I would do to be able to hug you again. What I would do to see you again. I wish I could dream about you but I can't. I want to dream about you so I can touch you... Why can't I dream about you??? I miss you so much.....
9/5 Hi pumpkin. I love you and miss you alot. I wish you were here. Yesterday I cried alot for you. Today is starting out the same way. I just want to hug you again. I went to smell your frito feet. I want to hear your voice. I'm going today to volunteer at the animal shelter. I hope that will help with the void that I have from you not being in my life. I hope you are happy and not missing me as much as I miss you.
9/7 I love you Nikki poo. I miss you so much!!!!!
9/11 Hi pumpkin. There has not been one minute that I have not thought about you today. I miss you so much. My life is not the same without you. I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9/14 Nikki poo ~ I want you back so bad!! I miss you so much. I love you pumpkin. Hugs and
Kisses!!!
9/18 Hi my little blue eyed girl. I miss you. I don't think I will ever get over your loss. My heart is so heavy with sadness. What I would do to be able to see you again. I love you pumpkin!!!!
9/24 Hi pumpkin. I miss you. I can't stop thinking about you. You are on my mind 24-7. I miss your frito smelling feet. I miss how you always would lick my leg after giving you a treat. I miss everything about you. I love you pumpkin!!!!
9/26 I keep looking around the house for you. I want to see you again. I want to hug and kiss you again. I still can't believe you are not here with me anymore Nikki. You were with me for 12 wonderful years and I miss you so incredibly much!!! I love you so much!
9/27 Hi pumpkin. I wish so much that I could hug you. I miss you so much!!! I love you baby girl!!!!!!
10/5 My princess Nikki. I miss you so much!!! I think about you all the time. I love you pumpkin!!!!!
10/13 Hi baby girl. I miss you. I love you so much!!! It snowed for the first time this year and all I could think about was you and how much you loved the snow. You used to put your head down in it and push it. It was cute. I wish so much that I could see you again. I miss kissing you all the time. I miss hugging you. I miss you so much!!!!
10/20 Hi pumpkin. I have been thinking so much about you the past two days. You have been on my mind 24-7. I'm not sure why these two days are so much more than others. I still can't believe that you are not here anymore. I wish you would come back to me. I can't believe how much I miss you. I miss hearing your voice. I miss our hugs. I miss listening to you snore. I miss you so damn much!!!! I love you baby girl and I hope you are happy!!!
10/27 It has been 5 months and 1 day. I miss you so dang much Nikki. What I would do to see you again. My heart aches for you!!!!! I love you forever!!!!!
10/29 I miss you so much. Every time I get a baggie out I think of you. You used to LOVE getting treats in baggies and it was so fun to watch you rip it apart. When I brush my teeth, I miss you standing in the doorway because you want some toothpaste. I miss hearing you dreaming at night and your feet hitting the wall. I miss you pumpkin. I really wish I could see you again. My heart is aching for you.
11/1 My princess Nikki, I miss you so darn much!!! I feel lost without you. I love you pumpkin!!!
11/6 Every day I look at your pictures and I think you are coming back to me. I keep thinking that you are at the vet or you are at grandma & grandpa's and I need to come and get you. I still can't believe you are not here anymore Nikki. You were my best friend and I miss you so much. You know how much I used to hug you daily. I have such a void in my life. I miss you so much!!!!
11/7 My heart aches for you pumpkin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11/9 I was crying tonight and then Koda started howling. I think he misses you as much as I do. I miss you so much! My life will never be the same!
11/15 Hi pumpkin. I miss you. I love you so much and I wish I could hug and kiss you.
11/16 Hi baby girl. I miss you so much. I love you more than words can say!!!!!!!
11/18 I have cried alot today for you pumpkin. I miss you so much. I love you!! I wish you were still here with me.
11/19 I still can't believe I don't have you anymore. I got to share 12 wonderful years with you and it just doesn't seem right that you are gone. I keep hoping I will see you again!! I love you Nikkipoo!!!!
11/22 I love you Nikki. I am always thinking of you. I miss you so much it hurts!!!!
11/26 Happy Thanksgiving Nikkipoo!!! It's been six months today since I got to hug and kiss you last. It seems like yesterday. I miss you and love you so much!!!!!!
11/30 I am so sad. Nikki I miss you so much. I wish so much you were still with me. I love you!!!!
12/4 Yesterday was my birthday and I was so sad. It's the first b-day in 12 years that I didn't have you. I love and miss you so much!! Nobody understands what you meant to me. I will always have a huge hole in my heart for you Nikki.
12/11 I have thought about you so much today. I can't believe how much I still miss you. I love you pumpkin!!!
12/13 I love and miss you so much!!!!
12/15 Happy Birthday Pumpkin!!! Hugs and kisses to you!!! I'm so sad that I don't get to have a birthday party for you. I hope your new friends are having one. You are probably glad that I'm not doing it so then you don't have to wear your b-day hat. But I'm sure you miss your cupcake. I love and miss you with all my heart.
12/31 Hi pumpkin. I have been avoiding you. I'm so sad. I miss you so much! I missed you at christmas. I came across your christmas outfit and cried. I made our christmas card and for the first time in 12 years you were not on it. It hurts everytime I look at it. I love you with all my heart and I wish I could hug you again!!!! I love you!!!!!
1/3/09 Hi Pumpkin. Koda has come to be with you. I guess he missed you as much as I missed you. I can't believe I have lost both of you within 7 months. I'm so sad!! Please take care of each other. Luve you!!!!
1/5 Nikki poo ~ I miss you. I'm sure you are excited to see Koda. I know he will be super excited to see you because I know he missed you. I'm so sad that I don't have you guys with me. I don't know how I will recover from this. I love you pumpkin!!!!
1/6 I love you Nikki. I miss you so much!!!! I wish so much I could look into your blue eyes. I wish so much I could hug and kiss you again. I miss your smell. I hope you are with Koda. I hope he has told you how much I miss you. You can tell him that I miss him alot also!!! I wish I had my huskies home with me!!!
1/11 Hi pumpkin girl. I miss you so much. I want so much to hug you and Koda again. I wish I could turn back time and have it be us 3 again. I can't believe how much my heart is aching right now. I want you guys back so bad. I love you!!!!!
1/28 I'm sorry I haven't come here to talk to you. It's been very difficult for me to see both my precious babies here. I still can't believe it's real. Words cannot express how much I'm hurting right now with either of you in my life. You were my world. I love and miss you so much!!!!
2/19 I am so sad that I don't have you and Koda in my life right now. I feel like I'm in a nightmare. I miss you guys so much. My heart aches for both of you. I love you Nikki poo. I wish so much I could hug you and smell you again!!! I will always have a void in my life!!!!!
3/31 Hi pumpkin. I love you and miss you so much. It's getting close to 5/4 when I found out that you had a tumor. The year is lurking and I'm dreading it. I can't believe it's been that long. It seems like yesterday. I miss you and Koda so much. I wish I could turn back time! I want you back in my life!!!!
4/19 My heart aches for you. I love and miss you so much!!! Nikki Poo I love you!!!!
5/4 One year ago today my life changed forever. I found out that you had a tumor in your stomach. I was completely devasted. It feels like yesterday that I had you here with me. I miss you so much pumpkin. Not one day goes by that I don't think of you. I love you baby girl!!!
5/26 Pumpkin girl, what can I say. It's been one year since I got to hug you last. I have cried 365 days. It seems like yesterday. I miss you so darn much. I love you and I think about you every day.
6/4 I have been struggling the past few days. I can't stop thinking about you and all your cute little things you used to do. I miss you so much and I wish you were still with me. I am so unhappy. I have so much sorrow and grief in my heart. I find it very difficult to function sometimes. I love you pumpkin!!!
6/12 I miss you so damn much. I love you so mcuh Nikki and I wish I could see you and Koda again. I can't believe I don't have my babies anymore. I love you and miss you so much!!!!!! It's so hard for me to function sometimes because all I want to do is be with you!!!!!
6/23 Hi pumpkin poo. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish that I could hug you. I love you and miss you so much! I really wish I could see your blue eyes again. I wish I could see you walk again, your walk was so cute. oh gosh pumpkin I miss everything about you.
7/22 This has been a tough week for me for some reason. I have thought about you and Koda so much. I really miss you both so much. I still can't believe I lost both of you within 7 months. My babies. You guys were my life. What did I do to deserve this. I wish I could turn back time. I hope you know how much I love you and how much I miss you. I hope to see you two someday again. I love my two blue eyed huskies!!!
9/19 I'm so sorry that I haven't written to you lately. We changed computers and I wasn't able to get everything done right away. I miss you so much. I think about you every day, every minute, every second still. I miss your personality so much. I hate living without you!!
10/11 I miss you so much pumpkin. The pain of losing you has not gone away. I still can't believe I don't have you any more. I love you so much!!!!
12/16 Hi pumpkin. I'm sorry I didn't say happy birthday to you yesterday. I'm to sad still. I still can't believe you are not with me anymore. It seems like yesterday that I lost you. I love you so much and I cannot believe how much I miss you.
2/5 Hi pumpkin girl. I can't beleive I haven't said hi to you for awhile. It' not that I haven't thought about you, because I think about you EVERY day. There are so many things during my day that remind me of you. And it breaks my heart because you are no longer with me. They say time heals but it's coming up on two years since I lost you and it seems like only yesterday. I miss you so much!!!!! You were so much a part of my life and it's so painful that you aren't here anymore. I found a camera and had the pictures developed. Most of them where of you and Koda. I broke down and cried. I miss you guys so much!! I love you. I hope you are keeping each company. I still can't beleive I don't have either of you anymore. My heart aches every day!!!
3/14 My heart aches. I miss you so much!!! I want so much to hug and kiss you. I need to smell you. I love you so much and I miss you so much!!!! I love you princess Nikki!!!
5/17 Oh my goodness Nikki, I miss you so much!!! The two year anniversary is coming up and it still feels like yesterday! I love you and miss you so much!!! I wish that I could hug you again. I wish that I could see your beautiful blue eyes again!!!
5/26/11 Hi pumpkin. Two years ago I lost you to cancer. It seems like yesterday!!! I can't believe how much I still miss you. There is not one day that goes by that I don't think of you. I wish so much you were still with me. I love you princess!!!!
12/15/11 Hi my princess nikki. Happy birthday!!! I wish so much you were here so I could have a party for you and give you lots of kisses!!! I think about you every day!!! Your paw print has left a forever mark on my heart!!! I love and miss you sooooo much!!!
2/10 I still miss you so much!!! Not one day goes by that I don't think of you! I wish so much I could turn back time. I love you P Princess Nikki!! I wish so much you were still here with me. My heart aches for you!!! I feel the same way about Koda. I wish so much I had you both back in my life!!!
5/26/12 Wow, I can't believe it's been 3 years. It honestly feels like it was yesterday. I miss you so much and it still breaks my heart knowing you are no longer with me. What I would do to see you again!! I love you so much Nikki and not one day goes by that I don't think of you!!! I miss you princess!!!!
9/21/12 Hi pumpkin girl!! I love you!! I think of you every day!!! I wish so much that you were here with me!!
10/1/12 I love you and miss you so much!!! I wish so much I could give you a big hug and kiss!!!
12/15/12 Happy birthday pumpkin. I love and miss you so much!!! Not one second goes by that I don't think of you!!!
5/7/13 I love you princess!!!
5/26/13 - It's been 4 years and it still seems like yesterday. I miss you so much!!! Not one day goes by that I don't think of you. I really, really wish I could hug and kiss you again. My Princess Nikki, I love you and wish you were still with me!!!
12/15/13 - Happy birthday pumpkin. I still miss you so much!!!! I think of you all the time. Have you seen grandpa yet? He recently left us here and I hope you greeted him with a big sloppy kiss!!! I love you so much and miss you guys. My little girl and my Koda boy!!!
5/5/14 Hi pumpkin. I miss you so much!! I think of you every day! I hope you, Koda, Whitney, TJ, Kato, Bruno, Scruffy and Buffy have found grandpa. He left us too and I miss him so much!! I love you!!!
5/25 I love you princess Nikki!!! Miss you so much!

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