Memories of Onyx
July 19, 2008
June 26, 1987, I'll never forget it. The pet store "gave" you to me cause you were "just a black cat". But I saw something beautiful, their loss. You were about 12 weeks old with a shiny, sleek black coat and bright eyes. They put you in a box for us to take out, but that only lasted til we got to the car. You rode home on my mom's shoulder while she drove. I had not had an animal for 13 years and had to work on my dad to get you. It was like the joy of bringing a new human baby home! That first night I placed you on my bed and thats where you spent all your nights from then on. Oh how I loved you from the beginning! I remember how as a kitten you would run sideways toward the patio door thinking it was another cat and how we all laughed. Six months later I got you a female kitten to bond with (Ashes). Tho I figured out later you were really a people cat, you tolerated her. After two years together at my parents house, I got my own place and left you two for a week to get the place ready. Mom told me you continued to sleep where my bed once was. I couldnt wait to bring my two "kids" to their new home. Did you really think I'd leave you? Never!
You were always so smart! Always fetched from the time you were little. Would jump out from behind things with your paws high in the air to surprise me! I'd hide and you'd look for me, calling when you got frustrated, and joyful when you found me! I could lift you way up to the ceiling so you'd knock a bug off it so I could get it! Always trusting I'd never drop you. One day you even dropped a live cricket on my magazine I was reading on the floor as a present. I thanked you and told you "I'd eat it later"..LOL. You were even careful not to crush it so it'd be "fresh". If you could see me outside, you would howl to come out. As a kitten I took you on a leash outside in the yard. From then on you would come running if I brought the leash out and stand still for me to put it on. Anyone could come pet you, and you loved to roll on cement. I swear you were part dog! I also feel confident that you will be the only cat I'll ever own that gave lovebumps to a vacuum cleaner, when it was "on" no less!! Fact I had to be careful with it since you seemed to be drawn to it!
When you were about nine, I slowly introduced a young male to our family. He had been born under my parents deck (Decker) and needed a home. You did not appeciate this "junior" following you around. Unfortunately I also had to put Ashes down shortly after. Several months later, another female came in (Ruby)that was about Decker's age so he would hopefully leave you alone and it worked.
Several years later you got a leg infection, I believe from one of your house mates as can happen. The vet kept you for several days to medicate you tho you'd be fine. Shortly after, you stopped eating and drinking tho they tried to hand feed you all kinds of stuff. The vet called and said it looked like you'd given up since I'd left you there for now and I better come get you. I brought you home and you immediately drank and ate. If that doesnt show love and devotion on your part, I dont know what does. Again, I would never leave you, my sweet animal!
After 13 years at my first place, I moved the three of you to a bigger place and you had more room to relax away from the other two, and even better, a fireplace to warm yourself by which you loved. You even allowed Decker to join your bed before the fire. You were always a lover and not a fighter. Except when you got catnip which seemed to make this small cat 10 feet tall and bullet proof. You would then roll around in it and slap at your housemates as if to say, get your own! You would rub your face on any chocolate that was left out, true girl after my own heart!
Amazingly it wasnt till you hit 20 that you really started slowing down. You stopped jumping up on furniture and the bed, and wouldnt stay long when I put you on it. You would wobble when you stood still but continued to do stairs with no problem. While you never turned grey, you got almost a dusty hue to your coat is all and one white whisker popped out. You stopped grooming for the most part and got very matted for a short haired cat. I tried to get rid of them, but also didnt want to hurt you, so was not entirely successful. You steadily lost weight from about 10 to 5 lbs but seemed to eat with gusto. You also got very loud and I was never sure if you were going deaf, or just thought I was considering our long life together! You also started to pace somewhat and it became obvious your hearing and sight were not what they once were. I watched you for signs of pain but never really saw any. I read that pacing and loud meowing are common in senior cats so I hope I was right to keep you with me.
Several months ago, you started having accidents "next" to the litterbox. I got you a lower box but it didn't work. You started to have accidents right in front of me and it seemed time to say goodbye to my best friend. I always prayed you'd go on your own given you were 21 now, but that was not to be. I pray that you will forgive me for making the worst decision I ever had too. When the day came, even the huge wad of paper towels I took to the vet could not dry my tears. Again, you were so sweet and never fought the vet any time we were there. You slipped peacefully from this world and took a huge part of me with you. You looked so thin and matted on the table, but will always be so beautiful to me. I have now given God his greatest gift back to him. We went thru life hand and paw, and someday we will share that love again. I know you are young again and free from any discomfort. May you soar high above the bridge on the wings you have so well earned. Make new friends, tell Ashes I love and miss her, but know we will be together again some day. I love and miss you terribly. Thank you a million times for sharing your life with me and allowing me to love you. You're worth every tear I have and will shed for the rest of my life. I always called you my dark angel, and now, you still are.
"You're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here" (Sarah McLachlan)
Thank you...thank you...thank God for you...the wind beneath my wings........
8/30/08 Not an hour goes by that I don't think of you Onyx. I miss you so BAD. Please visit me in my dreams, I'm waiting.
11/13/11 Happy holidays to my black angel. No, things will never be the same..but I constantly keep you in my heart and thoughts..luv you girl.
UPDATE 4/10/09: Well Onyx..I am back up to three cats tho I hadn't planned to be. A stray I've been feeding for several months finally came to me and so I took him in. He'd been fixed and declawed so either lost his way or was tossed out. He is home now. I know you would have loved him. He's a big calm boy and I am only sad you did not get to meet, tho you may remember seeing him thru the window. I am attaching a pic of him since he is now part of the family. He was found to have a chip in him and the shelter said his name had been Tom, but they lost his owner records...so Tom it stayed. He is somewhere between 4 and 7 years old..but acts like a BIG kitten. Love you girl!
6/24/09: Its now a year since you left for the bridge. Not a day goes by without thinking of you several times. I can't believe its been this long and it seems nothing good has happened since that day. I miss you soooo much Onyx. My heart will never let your spirit die. I am and always will be, your biggest fan, Love you girl.
04/02/10 Happy Easter my beautiful girl. Always in my thoughts and forever in my heart.
5/12/10 My beautiful, gentle girl, I had to send Ruby to RB last saturday the 8th. I do hope you were there to help her cross over. Now all three of you are gone. We lived so long..just the four of us together. All I have around here are the pictures of you three and it so depresses me to know you're all gone. I can only pray that I see you all again, and Ashes who crossed so many years before. I love you all so much, it will hurt every day for the rest of my life. Thank you for being so wonderful, for showing what true love really is, the love of an animal. It gets no better than that. I love you girl, you were the perfect cat.
8/10/10 I know I should have written you on your 2nd anniversary last June and I so apologize. It was such a sad time for me that I just couldn't come here. Letting you go was brutal for me, you were the first animal I'd had to let go in a long time, and because we were together so long, it made it all the harder. I look at your pictures Onyx and still your beauty takes my breath away. Last May when I lost Ruby, I wanted to get another black cat in your honor, and also because they are harder to get adopted...tho I can't wrap my head around WHY? Anyway, I did not end up with a black cat tho I inquired about some. But I did take an orange/white one. However, tho I was not in the market for a 3rd cat again, I heard of a black cat who was to have kittens. She was found as a pregnant stray. Two weeks later she gave birth and some were black. I realized later that their birthday was the same date as the day I said goodbye to you, and so I am going to take one. You were always so loving I know you'd want me to do this. I always loved your name so much Onyx, but I feel its wrong to call the new one that, so I am working on that one. Its not old enough to bring home yet, but I will certainly think of you when it does get here. I look forward to looking into its black face which will remind me of you, tho I also know this cat deserves to be loved for itself, and it will be. I love you so much Onyx...please be around when its my time, I hold that thought dear. BIG HUG BABY.
I ONLY WANTED YOU
A million times I needed you,
In life I loved you dearly,
If tears could build a stairway
Our family chain is broken,
THE LAST BATTLE
You will be sad, I understand,
Take me where to my needs they'll tend,
I know in time you will agree
Don't grieve that it must be you
And finally, my vet sent me the below prayer with your small pawprint on the bottom of it.
A PRAYER OF COMFORT FROM YOUR BELOVED PET
Up here in Pet Heaven
I will keep watch over you
I thank anyone who took the time to get through this and I wish you wonderful people comfort and peace as well. I know my beautiful girl will be welcomed by all your wonderful animals.
Love to all,
(Click on thumbnail to enlarge photo)
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