You left me today after 14 years us spending together. It was no surprise. You suffered so much with your heart murmur and you could hardly breeze anymore. Then you got this infection on your teeth petty bad. I meant so well yesterday taking you in for surgery to take the teeth out. You even left this world before any attempt was made for surgery. Was this because I wasn't there and had to take you in the night before? My heart is bleeding. Should I have left you home in pain living a little longer? Maybe? Maybe not?
I feel so guilt having abandoned you last minute, but I wanted you to get rid of the pain and enjoy your life without pain. I guess it was all for the best how it happened. I just wish I could have been with you the last minute to say good bye. It's so painful to let you go, my little Fatty.
I remember when you gave birth to Bambi and the other babies, how trustful you were that I would do the right thing and I did. I'm not sure about now, but whatever would have happened I always would have thought I could have done better.
Somehow I knew this would happen and we cuddled up the last nights particularly well, me waking up at night fretting that I might lose you. Before I took you to the vet yesterday, I asked you to forgive me and that I would take you back home and so I did today, just that you were not with us anymore.
You are with Smudgy now in doggy heaven and no pain. We all missed Smudgy so much when he left us just a few months ago. No wonder that your little heart hurt so much (the vet told me today that it had twice its size). My heart is still hurting for Smudgy so much and now hurts twice as much.
You are leaving your baby Bambi. She never was alone (11 years ago) without you, her mum, and Smudgy, her dad. We got to get another fur baby for her very soon, and make sure she's happy and stays with us for a while longer.
I know that daddy will miss you very much too. You use to cuddle so nicely with daddy. Daddy taught you how to cuddle, wiggling your little head on our stomachs while sitting on our lap and as a reward you always got lots of cuddles back. He called you Fatty/Fatguts and you did like that name.
We will have your funeral today. You will rest beside Smudgy and we all will be there. Mum, daddy and Bambi with bleeding hearts.
Little Fatty, it's time to say good bye to my little girl, so much loved. Never ever will forget you, kleine Maus.
Your mommy and daddy
23/8/2009 Peggy, your little daughter Bambi did join you. Now you're all together. Never forgotten in our hearts.
Please also visit Smudgy.