Roxie, I am so terribly sorry you had to leave so soon, and I pray with every ounce of my being that you were not scared and that your pain was over quickly. You filled my life over the last 5 years. I loved to come home to you after a long trip, I always felt welcome and missed. I miss your kisses. I miss your sharp bark and stomping feet when you begged for a treat. I miss your unbelievable obsession with toys. You never tore up anything that wasn't yours, only what you were given. I miss that you aren't there to come running when I empty a paper towel roller. It was always worth cleaning up the mess to see what a great time you had shredding the cardboard tube. |
Gamma and Gampa miss you very much, also. And Little is lost without you. You have never left her side, from the moment you brought her into the world.
People tell me I should get another dog... a companion for Little, but I can't imagine ever loving another dog as much as I loved you. And I never imagined I could feel such pain. It's been 2 weeks and 1 day, and I can't imagine a day that will go by without sobs of grief.
I am so sorry I didn't protect you from the Coyotes. I had no idea they would come into the yard and attack a dog. I ran to you, but they were already carrying you into the woods. I ran after them, but I could not catch them. I just truly, truly pray that you were already gone at that point. I can stand the thought of you scared and wondering why I didn't rescue you. I would have done anything to rescue you. It rained the day after you were gone, and I was so upset. I know how you hate the rain. I'm so sorry, baby. I still imagine that you will come running from the woods, miraculously escaped....I know in my heart it isn't true.
We placed some stones and daffodils on the place where you died, and we buried some of your favorite toys and treats at Gammas -- including Mr. Eagle guy, and the pink mouse, a paper towel tube, some of your "most well loved" hollow toys, your tennis balls, your golf ball and a greenie.
I'm selling the house. I cannot stand to look into that open field, and I can't risk Little getting hurt as well. I'm only sorry I did not do it sooner. I should have gotten you a bigger yard to run and play in. Then maybe you wouldn't have left me in such a terrible way.
I hope with all my heart that there is a rainbow bridge where you are whole again, and playing in the sunshine with plenty of food and water and treats. I imagine you chasing lizards and playing in the rocks. And I can imagine exactly how you will look when you see that I am coming to join you. Holding you again in my arms will make life's journey complete for me.
I love you Roxie. Rest well, my Pretty Baby.