7/16/05
I can't even begin to put in to words the love we feel for our Samba. I got Samba when she was 8 weeks old. I was in college and needed a good companion. Little did I know when I asked for a good companion that God was going to send me the BEST one out there. She was the softest,cutest blonde cocker. Samba used to always sleep flat on her back completely outstretched with her tongue hanging out. She never left my side. She would sit in the bathroom and look up at me when I was getting ready. She loved to rummage through the trash carefully selecting out the Q-tips and Kleenex to chew on or play with.
Samba lived to be almost 14. About a year ago she developed an ailment called degenerative myelopathy that was slowly paralyzing her legs.Unfortunately,the disease is irreversible and could not be treated. We tried several medications to arrest the disease to keep it from progressing, but none of them seemed to work. The vet told us she basically feels like her back legs are asleep. Things started out slowly,she might trip a little bit when walking,she started avoiding the stairs, and gradually she was dragging her back legs behind her. She never cried or moaned to let me know that she hurt, but her eyes told the story. In her last few weeks her front legs started giving out also. We would carry her out to her "spot" to go pottie (she could no longer squat to tee tee so she would do it standing straight up),but after she would finish she couldn't move..it was like she was stuck. If she did try to move she would fall, but we were always there to catch her. In addition, she had a pretty severe heart murmur,and had become incontinent. Her body was letting go slowly. Robert,my husband, and I were at a crossroad. You see, up until a month ago we had two dogs and a cat. Now all we have is a cat. We had to send our beloved Buttons to Rainbow Bridge on June 18,2005 (please visit Buttons here also). So in less than one month we have lost our 2 precious fur babies. They grew up together and both lived 14 long years and gave us soooo much happiness.Robert and I have been married for 8 years and have not had children other than our Samba,Buttons, and Tracks, so this has been very devastating for us. In a lot of ways it is harder than losing a human. Our fur babies show us unconditional love,never failed us,are always by our sides,never talked back and rarely showed anger. That's tough to find in a human.
Our Samba was such a sweet gentle baby. Early this past week was when we decided she was calling us to help relieve her..and ease her pain. I was so selfish and did not want to do this,but a part of me knew that if Dr. Kucher helped her cross over it would be much less painful than a natural death. I tried to make the appointment,but couldn't, so Robert helped me out in my time of sorrow..you see Samba was my baby 4 years before Robert and I even met. I came home from work Wednesday evening and he told me he had made the appt., but that Dr. Kucher wasn't going to be the one to do it. He said there were 2 other vets (whom I had never met,nor had they met my baby) that would be there. With something as precious and hard as this I wanted my baby girl to be in the hands of the ones she knew and respected..not some stranger. I called to cancel the appt., with half of a smile, thinking I get to hang on to her a little bit longer. The receptionist informed me that Dr. Kucher actually would be there and had a 10:30 a.m. cancellation if we needed her then. It was decision time..the hardest call I've ever had to make..but God,Samba,and Robert told me I was doing the right thing.
Last night we stayed home and had a Samba night.She got a bath so she would enter heaven smelling like a charm,I blow dried her long locks and cleaned her ears so she could hear everyone welcome her. We loved on her, I told her about heaven and Rainbow Bridge and that her sister,Buttons,was waiting on her and ready to play.I went to McDonald's (Sambas favorite place for vanilla ice cream) and got each of us some ice cream. We sat on the kitchen floor like old times and ate our ice cream together..of course Samba finished hers before me, so I let her help me finish mine off. Shortly after, I cried myself to sleep. This morning as I cradled her in my arms, Tracks,our cat, did something I have never seen her do. Tracks came over to Samba, cradled in my arms as I was reading Samba the Rainbow Bridge poem,she curled up to her and began licking her. Pets are amazing. It's almost like Tracks was saying "It's gonna be o.k. sis".
I let my girl out one last time to go tee tee and then we hopped in the car..we rode with the window cracked just like she likes it so she can feel the breeze. Dr. Kucher was so good to her. Robert and I opted to give her a tranquilizer first to calm her nerves a bit (she always hated going to the doctor).After Dr. Kucher catheterized her and tranquilized her she brought her into a private room with me and Robert. She was still pretty coherent and not groggy yet. Dr. Kucher gave me a blanket and allowed us to spend a few minutes with her. I laid her on the blanket and told her it was all going to be o.k. She began to get groggy and then her muscles relaxed. She stuck her little tongue out to sleep,just like she did when she was a baby, and rested her back legs on my legs as if saying "I'm with the ones I love." Then Dr. Kucher came in and administered the anesthesia. As I spooned her, and rubbed her head and side, I whispered "Momma loves you baby girl, meet me at Rainbow Bridge, Godspeed and sweet dreams."
We will always love you Samba girl,H.R. Puffandstuff,monkey :)July 17,2005- Hey monkey. I miss you so and can't stop thinking about you.For the first time in about 2 weeks it did not rain at all yesterday.You truly are my sunshine:) Love, mommy
July 20,2005-Hi Samba girl, I think of you everyday.Not a day goes by that I don't say good morning/goodnight to you and sis.Our house is so quiet and lonely without you baby.Tracks misses you a lot.I was visiting your memorial at Rainbows Bridge and she saw your picture on the computer and started nuzzling the computer monitor and purring.Daddy and I hope you and Butrose are doing well and keeping each other company. I light a candle each day in memory of you girls and vow to do this each day til we meet again. I miss you my love, mommy
7/23/05- Hi baby. It's been one week exactly since I've felt your kisses and kissed your head. Today is a particularly hard day.It is now 10:30 a.m.,which was your appt. time at Dr. Kucher's. I just lit a candle for you and said a prayer. I miss you soooo much. You are always on my mind..and always will be.I hope you and sis are taking good care of each other.
I love you my sweet girl, mommy
7/30/05 Good morning Samba Sue. I can't believe it's been 2 wks. since you went to the Bridge.My heart is hollow without you. I still cry daily because I miss you sooo much.I miss your kisses, and you looking up at me with your big droopy eyes. You have been coming to me in my dreams almost every night.Thank you my love. I've met a lot of nice people who have also lost their babies. I'm sure you and Buttons are up there playing w/them all. Your candle is lit,many prayers have been spoken for you,and my love and devotion remains undying.'Til we meet again I'll see you in my dreams :) XOXO, mommy
8/9/05 Hi baby girl.I've been thinking about you a lot since I last wrote. I still miss you immensely. Daddy and I went out of town this past weekend and Angie,your petsitter, came to take care of Tracks. I always wrote her notes the mornings we would leave to let her know if you and Buttons had "done your business" before we left. I reached for the notepad to write her a little note about Tracks and found all the notes I had written her in the past & the notes she had written about you girls. I started bawling. How I wish you were still here. She misses you both too. Samba you always were and will be mommy's #1 girl. Can't wait to kiss on you again. Hope you're eating lots of "treat treat's" and romping and playing. Miss you my love,Faithfully :)-mommy
8/16/05 Hi my precious Samba monkey. It has been one month today since we said goodbye..for now. My heart still aches without you. You were such a good girl. Our house is still very quiet without you and Buttons,I don't think we will ever "get used" to this. I thought about you so much today, and hope that you are well at the Bridge with all of the other furbabies. I have kept my promise..every day a candle and prayers. I feel you in my heart, I just wish you were here for me to hold and kiss. You used to lick all of my tears away when I was sad, now I need stock in Kleenex :) My girl, you were always mine "faithfully", I will always be yours. You are ALWAYS on my mind. I love you with all my heart Samba Sue. 'Til we meet again...see ya in my dreams baby girl :)
8/28/05- Hi sweetheart. I'm having a really hard day today..not quite sure what triggered it, but I can't stop crying. I miss you sooo much. I thought today of how you used to love to prance around like a clean princess after getting a bath and how you would "towel dry" yourself by rubbing back and forth up against the couch soaking wet. You little stinker :) And how you would sit there and let me blow dry your long hair..all except for your left ear. You never liked having that one blow dried for some reason. We had it checked and nothing was wrong, you would just rather that one stay wet..so there you were all beautiful and fluffy and dry except for that one ear. Gosh how I cherish the memories. Sam, I thank you so much for all the happiness you brought me. You taught me so much about life..live each day like it's your last..get plenty of rest..drink lots of water..play til you fall asleep and enjoy all the "treat treats". Prayers and candles baby girl, Mommy
10/1/05 HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY Samba girl. Boy do I miss you. I've been crying just about all day with happy memories of you. I miss your sweet little face and all that Samba sugar you would give me. I put a birthday cake at your memorial, hope you, sis, and all your friends ate it all up. Our house is still so very lonely w/o you girls. We've been kicking around the idea of getting another cocker..a chocolate one. She will never replace you my sweet love. As I've said you were always my #1 girl and will always be mine faithfully. Daddy and I went to meet a pregnant cocker spaniel last weekend. We stopped at Burger King to get a bite and the song "Faithfully" came on their speaker system. I got chills..were you giving me a sign? I feel like you were letting mommy know it was o.k. if we decide to get another puppy. I still think of you everday sweet girl and always will..new puppy or not. I hope you have a great day today:) You are the most precious thing ever. I miss you my love. Prayers and candles, Mommy and Daddy
10/9/05- Hi baby. Iwanted to let you know that on your birthday mommy and daddy went and got a vanilla ice cream at McDonald's in your honor. We love you pumpkin.
10/15/05- Hey Sue,Sue girl. How's my baby? This morning I sat and read ALL of the cocker spaniel memorials at RB.I've been an emotional wreck. Reading everyone's stories brought back so many wonderful memories of you..how you used to always ride right in my lap in the car when we would go anywhere, how you loved popcorn, would wait for any morsel of ANYTHING to fall on the floor so you could lap it up, seeing you sit in "your spot" on the couch, sleeping at my feet..the list is endless. Someone wrote "Many days you were my ONLY friend, EVERYDAY you were my BEST FRIEND." That pretty much sums it up honey. I love and miss you so dog gone much. In my heart I know saying goodbye to you on this plane of life was the best thing for you, though I always find myself wishing you were still right here by my side. As long as you are in my heart I will have the strength to cope. Stay with me always monkey. Prayers and candles forever yours faithfully,xoxoxo Mommy
2/26/06 Hey sweet girl. I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I still think of you every day and miss you bunches. We got a new chocolate cocker in November. Her name is Bailey. I wish you were here to teach her a thing or two :) Honey, I'm writing to let you know that sweet Tracks has joined you at the RB. She was hit by a car a week ago Friday (2/17/06) and didn't make it.
Mommy and daddy are really sad. Loosing our 3 babies in less than 1 year has been tough. I'm sure you and Buttons were there to meet her..she had her bell on and her name tag so you could pick her out..and how could you miss her bent little tail :) You girls take care of each other up there just like you did down here o.k. Prayers and candles, faithfully and forever...Mommy
4/12/06 Hi baby. I was just thinking about you and wanted to drop in to say hello. I miss you still so terribly...my sweet, sweet girl. Take care of Buttons and Tracks. I love you always and faithfully babe. xoxo, Mommy
7/16/06 My Samba Sue..I never imagined I could miss you so much.
It has been 1 year today since I last held you in my arms. Time has healed some of the heartache, but I still cry and yearn for your companionship. You truly were the BEST. Yesterday I was cleaning out the kitchen cabinets and found all of your old medicines..I just cried. I know your free of any pain at the Bridge. I'm so thankful for the wonderful time that we had each other. Spirit is eternal and I always feel you. I recollect you looking up at me with adoration, gentle kisses, days gone by when you would run and play, sunbathing by the window. So many happy times :) As time passes I ask that you never forget us, when we finally meet again, please remember us. I long for the day that we will reunite in God's kingdom, but until then I will keep all the precious memories of you tucked away in my heart & preserved in my mind. I miss you Samba girl.
Candles & prayers faithfully, Mommy & Daddy
10/1/06- HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY my sweet baby girl.I sure do miss you. I think of you soo often, and though the tears have slowed down some...they still come when I think of all the memories we made together. This last week has been a very rough one. One of my good friends passed away on 9/24/06- a week ago today. He was only 45,but he was in a lot of pain. Please look after him Samba Sue. It was Dr. Kiffin Payne. When you, Buttons, and Tracks passed on he was always there to console me. You can't miss him(though you never met him). He's going to be the one with the huge smile and he's very smart. Keep him company should he need it. My baby, I hope you have a great day today with your RB buddies. I've put a birthday cake at your site. I love you dearly & miss you to pieces. Kiss your sisters for me. Prayers & candles faithfully, Mom and Dad
11/05/06 Hi sweet Samba Sue. How's my girl? I wanted to let you know I went to see Journey in concert last night. They played Faithfully.It was great..it gave me chills. I shed a little tear during the song thinking of you sweet girl. I sure do miss you. Still thinking of you everyday. Can't wait to feel your kisses on my cheeks again one day. Your candle has been lit everyday now for 1 yr. and 4 months. Take care of each other my love. Til I see you again :) Hugs & kisses faithfully, mommy 7/16/07 Oh my sweet baby girl. My little Samba Sue. I can't believe 2 yrs. have passed. It seems like just yesterday that I brought you home in Columbus,Ga. You were so tiny and always so sweet. The way you would look up at me with your beautiful, big,brown eyes. You could get away with ANYTHING, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I loved spoiling you.
I have thought of you so much today my love. The tears still come occasionally, especially on anniversaries and your birthday, but for the most part I think such happy thoughts for you at the Bridge.I am so grateful you are no longer hurting and can run and jump and play again. I know the day will come when we meet again, and it will be as though time had stood still and we had not been apart for any time at all. Samba, other pets may come and go in our lifetime, but none can ever compare to you. You set the bar awfully high :) I love you so much, miss you dearly, and will always hold you close to my heart until we meet again.
Candles and prayers faithfully, Mom and Dad 7/16/08 Hey there Samba Sue Sue. How's my sweet girl doing? It's hard to believe another year has passed since you went to the Bridge baby. I sure do miss you. 3 years and I still think of you all the time. It seems like I just held you in my arms not so long ago. I wish you were here with me right now so I could lay a big smooch on that sweet little noggin of yours. Are you and your sisters being nice to each other, sharing and playing hide and seek? Mommy and Daddy look so forward to the day when we see you and Buttons and Tracks again. Baby girl, I miss you. You're still my number 1!!
Candles and prayers sweet girl, Mom and Dad
12/29/08 My little Samba Sue. Merry belated Christmas and Happy early New Year sweet pea. I just finished reading all my journaling to you and I am proud to say mommy only teared up once. My tears have been replaced with everlasting happy memories of you and your sisters. You know you girls always have such a special place in my heart, and though I still miss you and think of you often, I know you are in a wonderful place free of pain. This Christmas we went to Franklin, TN to visit Grams and Grandaddy and Halle, Wilson, and Max were there. We got to talking about you and Buttons, and Tracks and we all smiled over such great memories we have of you all. I received a really nice entry into your Guest Book today from a sweet lady whos fur baby went to RB yesterday. She read all the things I had written about you and it made her feel better :)I'm sure you were up there to greet her fur baby.. you always were an awesome "door greeter"..wagging tail, and plenty of kisses. I miss you sweetheart. Til' we meet again.....
Prayers, Candles, and sweet memories, Mommy and Daddy
7/16/09 Hey there my sweet Samba girl. How's my baby today? It's been 4 years today honey since you went to Rainbow Bridge. I still miss you so much and think of you always. YOU'RE THE BEST!! Is Tracksy cat keeping you and Buttons in shape running around chasing you two? I used to crack up when she would hide in the monkey grass in the front flower beds and you girls would go outside to do your business and she would jump out of that grass and scare you girls and you would jump....then you would chase her up a tree...good times. Mom did good today and only cried a few times reading all of my previous journal entries and memories of you. You must know how important and loved you were, you brought so much joy to mine and daddy's life. Sweet girl I think of you often, miss you daily, and love you forever.
Prayers, Candles, and kisses faithfully,
Mom and Dad Please also visit Buttons and Tracks.
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