Crackers was my best friend. He was loyal, loving, and in his own way, all-knowing. I was his best friend too. He was my childhood dog, and for much of my college years I was gone, and I feel guilty for it often. I studied abroad, I lived in a dorm, and was just generally absent for a long time. But, in his old years, I came home to live in the house while my family moved out of the state for a short time. He and I were each others care takers. It crushed me every time I had to leave him...which was too frequent towards the end of his life. I missed him so much. I would carry a picture of him with me whereever I was.

Then, I went to law school, and towards the end of my first year my parents drove Crackers to Nebraska to see me from Colorado. I knew it would be the last time I saw him, but I hoped he would make it until the summer - on memorial day - when I would come back to Denver. I cried, and held him. Then, after a few days, I said goodbye to him. I made my entire family promise that they would tell me if he passed away. I called daily, and every person in my family assured me that he was alive.

Then, I arrived at the airport on Memorial day, and asked if Crackers was in the car. I knew from the look on my mom's face he was gone. I fell to the cement and lost it completely. Apparently he had passed almost a month before, on April 25, 2006, but my family did not want to tell me since it was my week of finals for my first year of law school.

I know they withheld it for a reason....but I just wish I could have had my parents put the phone up to his little ear one last time so I could tell him how much he meant to me... how much he will always mean to me.

He was the light of my life, and my best friend. I love him with my whole heart.

He visits me often in my dreams, and I always wake up overcome with joy at having seen him and felt the emotions I shared with him during his lifetime. His memory will live with me forever--- and until I see him again, I love you, Crackers, and will see you in my dreams.

I miss you, Cracky boy.