My Little Missy Girl by Ashley Gardiner

My Little Missy Girl

by Ashley Gardiner

I remember the exact day, the exact moment, that my little Missy dog came into my life. It was christmas eve and my parents had hired "santa" to present me with the most precious gift, and what I believed to be the first gift of Christmas; a little bundle of black fur. I was three at the time and was told "love the dog and the dog will love you." I've never forgotten that and I loved my Missy more then anything. She was there for my first toothfairy experience, my first day of school, my first boyfriend, my first heartbreak...she went through so much with me. I remember being a little girl and falling asleep next to her in her tiny doggy bed, telling her stories that no one else had the time to listen to. Or when I was older, busier, and she would lay in my lap while I did my homework, having her near me was the biggest comfort in the world. The last day of Missy's life it was snowing. She loved the snow and I took her for a walk, she rolled in the snow, pawing it off her face and then doing the whole thing over again. She was so happy and carefree, just appreciating being alive and free. I want to remember her like that always...coming up a hill, a little black nose covered in white snow, prancing around without a care in the world. If I had known it would be her last day here on earth with me maybe I would have done things differently. Maybe I would have layed in her bed with her again, like I did when I was a little girl. I don't know. She went so quickly that night, something to do with her heart, no one even knew it was coming. I wasn't even home, I was out with friends for the night. Every day I wish I had stayed home, that I had been there in the car ride to the hospital, when she was wrapped in my blanket, or when my parents said goodbye to her on that hospital bed when she left this world to play forever in the snow and watch over me. I didn't even know she was gone until the next morning when I came home, I couldn't even believe it. How could my best friend, who had been there with me through it all, be gone? I can never forgive myself for not being there when she left us. Not holding her in my arms and telling her it was alright, that I loved her, that she was the most wonderful friend I could ever ask for and that I would miss her more then she could ever know. With Missy passing on, so did a part of my child hood, a part of my heart. I keep that blanket that she was wrapped in the night she died close to my side when I sleep and her collar is next to my bed. Sometimes, when I am sad or upset, I talk to her like she is still here, just like I used to do when I was little and even when I was older. I know she is listening to me somewhere and watching over me. Sometimes I forget she is even gone, and when I call my other dogs in I will say her name, it's still so natural to me. It has been almost two years and I still miss her everyday. I cry now, just thinking about her sweet little barks, and the way she used to lay so perfectly next to me. No matter what pets I have in the future, I will never forget my little Missy dog. She is a part of me and I can't wait 'till the day I see her little body, bounding over a snowy hill, running to meet me for all of eternity. I love you always Missy. 10/25/90 - 1/19/03

Comments would be appreciated by the author, Ashley Gardine