Happi by Jill Lindner

Happi

by Jill Lindner

My baby pomeranian Happi was almost 17 when he passed away. During that last year, he had had seizures and was on medication morning and night. He had accidents around the house that I was always cleaning up. Then one day he didn't want to eat and the next day he couldn't drink. I had to put him down 2 days ago. It was the saddest day of my life. I buried him yesterday. He has a brother (not by blood)named Cuddles who is 8 years old. Both Cuddles and I are in morning so bad it hurts. My family is also devastated. I wish every minute that I am at home that I still had something to clean up on the floor. It turns out I didn't really mind it a bit when he had his accidents. He couldn't help it anyway. I love him with all my heart and want him to know that he was the best doggy in the whole world. I have no children, my boys are my kids. I lost my son this week and I cry most of the time. I wish I had one more hour to hold him and look into his eyes. He was so sweet. He had lost weight and I could feel his bones when I picked him up. He was beautiful even to the end. When I last looked at him and petted him and said my final goodbye in the casket he looked like a sleeping angel. He was my first born and I miss him. Cuddles does to. I know I will see him again one day, but the missing him is just awful. I have a hole in my heart that cannot be filled. I let him know that it was ok and that I would let him go to heaven, I wanted him to know that Cuddles would take care of me. I am in so much pain. I know it was the right thing to do, I just wish my heart would catch up to my head. I love you Happi, mommy will always love you.

Comments would be appreciated by the author, Jill Lindne