Casper's Story: Unspoken Promises by Jayna Nicholson

Casper's Story: Unspoken Promises

by Jayna Nicholson

I remember the first time that I looked into Caspers beautiful blue eyes. I was instantly mesmerized by what I saw in them. It was as if we were meant to be together as our souls seemed to bond in a love at first sight sort of way. I knew from that moment that we would be together until death do us part. Little did I know that our love for one another would grow strong enough to bind us even after he passed on. It was November 1995 when we found one another. The day started out no different than any other. I wasnt expecting to find my soul mate and I certainly wasnt aware that he even existed. I had dropped my daughter off at afternoon kindergarten, planning to go straight back home when I got this nagging feeling that I should go shopping. After browsing through several stores, not really sure what I was looking for, I decided to go to the local pet store to look at the cute puppies and kittens. I walked around for a while, looking at the puppies and feeling sorry for them because they were locked up in cages behind a glass wall. Their whines and cries tugged at my heart as I turned down the aisle where they kept the kittens. I had just passed the cat food when I saw Casper. Our eyes locked as a big smile emerged on my face. His bright blue eyes penetrated my very core as I stood there watching him. A salesclerk approached me, following my gaze. She smiled and walked to the cage that my eyes were locked on to. Thinking that he must already be spoken for, I sighed and turned to leave. As I walked toward the door, I heard the clerk call out to me. I looked back and stopped in my tracks when she approached me. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him in her arms. He was more beautiful than I had realized. My heart melted instantly as she handed him to me. His fur was solid white except for his black tail and ears. He had a pink little nose that was so cute when he nudged me with it as his claws kneaded my skin. The tiny meow coming from his mouth was so quiet that I could barely hear it. I lifted him up to my face and smiled as he squirmed frantically until I pressed him against my the warmth of my chest. I felt a small vibration as he began to purr. The salesgirl already knew I was hooked long before I started digging through my purse for the checkbook. She offered to put him in a small box after I paid for him. He cost $30. Let me tell you that was the best money I ever spent. That store sold me a priceless soul for that little amount of money. It didnt take me long to figure out what a bargain I had gotten. When I picked my daughter up from school later that day, I asked her if she could have any kind of kitten in the world what she would want. She said, A yellow kitten. I shook my head and said, Oh really? Then I will have to take this white one back to the store. I lifted him in the air for her to see. She nearly jumped right out of her seatbelt trying to grab him. As soon as I handed Casper to her, I saw that they were made for each other. It took less then an hour for them to become inseparable. He slept with her, ate with her, went to the bathroom with her and sometimes he even went to school for show and tell time. Every day when she would go to school without him, he would stand by the door all day meowing until she came back. Out of every cat I have ever met, Casper had the most tolerance. He would let my daughter dress him up in her first Easter dress. He was the exact size as her when she was six months old. The dress fit him perfectly and it had a matching bonnet which he did not care for to much. Anytime she went outside to play, Casper had to go along on a leash. He looked so funny walking on that dogs leash. But even when he was funny looking, he was beautiful. He knew how to carry himself with dignity in any situation. A few times he crossed paths with dogs. He would growl and hiss then slap the dog until it ran away. He also liked to ride in the basket on her bike and sit in the mailbox. I really dont think that he ever realized that he was a cat and not a kid. He loved to eat peas and fruit but hated meat except for when it came to cans of sliced chicken cat food. The gravy in the can was his favorite treat. We have had other pets over the years. Casper never liked any of them when he first met them because he was jealous that he might have to share all the attention he was used to getting. He did learn to love our black cat Binx. We had him for 3 years until he passed away from Feline Leukemia. After he died, Casper became very depressed so we tried to spoil him with more attention then ever. Caspers birthday just so happened to fall the day before mine so I took the opportunity to always make sure a bigger fuss was made over him growing a year older so that people might forget that I was aging to. This past September he turned 8 years old. Since he had been sick and his prognosis was not good, we decided to give him a big birthday party. Three of his human Grandmas and one Grandpa drove over 100 miles just to come to his party. Unfortunately that day, Casper was feeling bad. He did not even get out of bed to enjoy all the extra attention which he normally loved. When he walked into a room, every eye would turn to look at him and take in his beauty. He was given several toys and a blanket for his birthday. Not that he needed a blanket, he already had his own blankie, teddy bear and pillow but since he was already so spoiled, it didnt really hurt to add to his collection. The day after his party, he was feeling a little better and got to enjoy his presents. That didnt last long though. His health really started to go downhill fast. On October 1st I took Casper back to the Vet. During his last visit, they told me he probably had a brain tumor because his eyes moved from side to side to fast and he was always losing his balance. The lumps under his skin, which they had only thought were a small reaction from being vaccinated, had grown huge. The young vet, only two years out of college, knew what it was as soon as he felt it. He had seen one other case like it. He told me that Casper had Feline Sarcoma more then likely but could not confirm that diagnosis without sending off a tissue sample to be analyzed. That was not an option because I felt it would add to his misery. Plus it would have been very expensive. So the Vet sent us home with the prognosis that if indeed Casper did have Sarcoma, he only had two months left. Over the next two weeks, his condition went downhill very fast. He stopped using the litter box then he stopped eating after he lost the ability to chew. The last few days he was with us he was unable to swallow water. I prayed for him to just go to sleep so his suffering would end. He was a trooper though. He would not give up his fight for life. By that time the tumors had burst open, eating all the way through his skin. We could see down inside his leg. The open wound got infected, causing him great pain. He had no muscles left to protect his body, because the cancer had eaten them up, so on his last night at home, when he fell off a chair onto the hardwood floor he broke a bone. Casper cried and howled for hours afterwards. It was the middle of the night so there was nothing I could do until morning. I lay on that cold wooden floor for five hours with him, afraid to move him because he was hurting so bad. He kept nudging me with his nose to make sure that I was still there by his side. I kept talking to him and telling him, I promise that I will stay with you until the end. When the sun finally rose on that Halloween morning, we all gave him a kiss on the head before I drove him to the vets office. That was a very unique experience. The young Vet that had been treating Casper was out of town, so his partner had to see us that day. When he came into the exam room, he was wearing a vampire costume. This vet had never seen a case of Feline Sarcoma so he was stunned at the terrible condition Casper was in. The cat who had once been a beautiful 15 pound butterball turkey sized cat, lay on the table, gasping for breath, weighing a mere 10 pounds. Without a word to me, he injected Casper with the shot to put him to sleep and take his misery away once and for all. Nothing happened. Casper continued lying there, breathing raggedly. So the vet left the room to get another shot. He tried to inject his other leg. Still nothing happened. On the third attempt, he injected the needle straight into Caspers heart. A procedure thats only supposed to take 3 seconds ended up taking 5 minutes. His heart beat for several minutes as he stared at that man who was dressed up as Dracula. I knew his heart was finally giving up the struggle when his eyes started to dilate. As his final breath escaped his body, the Vets assistant picked Casper up, cuddling him in his favorite blanket. She carried him to the back, to take a sample of his tissue which I had not allowed them to take before because I did not want him to be traumatized. She put his body into a cat food box when she was done. Then she carried him out to the front office for me. I couldnt help but smile as tears poured down my cheeks. One of Caspers favorite habits was to crawl in small boxes and sleep in them. He would have loved ending up in a box like that. It wasnt long before the man from the crematory showed up to pick up Caspers remains. Three days later, he called me to tell me that the ashes were ready. That evening, he met us in a parking lot and handed over the small wooden box. It had two cats carved into the top of it and on the front a metal plate with Caspers name on it. We took him home where he was promptly put on a shelf in my daughters room with all of his favorite toys. He loved his stuffed animals, toy cars and rubber balls. He is surrounded by photos that were taken during his life. Never once during Caspers short life, did he doubt his families love for him. Not because we went out of our way to spoil him rotten but because he saw it our eyes. All of the unspoken promises to take care of him and love him until the end of time will always be there. The morning that Casper died, I promised myself that I wouldnt let his death be in vain. If it takes me until the day that I die and am reunited with that wonderful soul who comforted me so many times, I will try to right the wrongs that were done to him. He lived a good life and never did anything to deserve such awful suffering. My unspoken promise to Casper is that my heart will never forget

Comments would be appreciated by the author, Jayna Nicholso