"A Dog Named Head" by Ryan Turner

"A Dog Named Head"

by Ryan Turner

Today is the 12th of feb. 2005......... wow! has it really been a week since "the night"? It all is still so fresh in my mind like it was only last night. The crys, the blood, the emptiness! Had i only paid attention more, maby i could have done something, anything, but we all say that at some time or another. I think it was around oct.25th, i threw some water and food out for our two dogs, sage and mojo, fed the ferret and sugar gliders, and went out to visit with my friend Jason. His dog Head Bone, had earlier became father to a litter of puppys, scrawny little bodies and big feet. They were absolutely adoreable. Of course the only one left was the runt. No one wanted to give him a home for some reason, so i decided to sleep on it. Evidently he had too. The next day I came over he told me that he had decided to keep him after all,"Remmy" was his new family member. About the time that disappointment sat in, a scrawny little white puppy came lurking in from around the corner, solid white except for a dot of brown and a bar of brown half way down the length of his tail, almost in the shape of an "i". I made eye contact and called to him, he ran to me and jumped in my lap and proceeded to give me hundreds of kisses. Mine. I told him that i was going to take him home on a trial basis. Depending on what my fiance would say. But I knew that he was here to stay, but what is his name. Little man seemed to be the name of choice during the name transiition. On halloween day Nez and I tied the knot. A group of close friends joined at our house to celebrate, one of them being our piercer and close friend Jan. All of them fell in love with this little pup who pranced and strutted around tripping on his own feet. "look at him", she said. "he's nothing but a head,.....Head." Thats when he was christened as Head, of course to finalize it, all of our dogs had become to me, saggy butt, mojo butt, coda butt, so now we had Head Butt. We were a happy family finally. Head was confined to a kennel for the nights since he had a lack of house breaking or maby it was he did a lot of "house breaking". hahaha. He whined when he was alone so i figured he needed a companion.( I guess i forgot to add that he had been with a friend of theirs who was in the process of becoming a drug addict and was rarely there mentally, so to make a long story short, he was in a back yard for 5 days during the summer with no food or water.) I gave him a stuffed animal that became his baby, and dare not take his baby from him. Now i know when you picture a pitt, you think of this masculine dog sitting vigiantly by your side, but i encourage you to change that view with this one, who now, where ever he went carried this equally sized pink fluffy bunny. My previous experience with a pitt was not that great, the lack of common sence had temporarily scarred me. Twitch, my first was a few bricks shy of a full load, actually his truck only had one brick in the back so to speak. But Head showed me a different side to the breed. We had formed a bond that i had not felt in a while. He knew that i had saved him. From day 1 he did every thing i said, i was astonished at how intelligent this dog actually was. To me he wasnt a dog. I talked to him as if he were human and he did the same for me, by letting me know he understood. We were inseperateable. From naps on the coutch to drives through town where he had to be in my lap, even as he got bigger. I just adjusted to driving differently to accomidate his desires. We would argue and play, like he was a little kid, and he was verry much so. Around nov. I had become "out of a job" and money was scarce. At times he had no food, so what was my dinner was shared with him. I made shure that the pups and others ate before us.my wife and i went a couple of days without food to make shure the animals were fed. Finally around the end of january i found a job that would save us all. So i dedicated a weeks time to snapping together small plastic parts for $750.00 a week. Finally Head could have his shots. I left last Thurs. to go get my check. I returned home with an awesome warm feeling knowing this will be all good! Had only enough time to run to the restroom, and came out to an aweful iron and fecal matter smell. Head was slinking to his fouton to lie down. Nez said "baby. You are going to have to have Head put down. I was in a huge panic. No vets were open at this hour, no way to cash my check and a load of anxiety and fear. Head had parvo! Not my boy, not my baby, why hadn't i seen this? I struggled and scrambled untill about 12:30am when i knew what the outcome was going to be. My little man couldn't hold his head up, was falling asleep in the water dish and running a fever that was out of controll. So there in the floor with him is where i stayed. We had both fallen asleep but not before he made shure that his head was in my hand. I could sence that he did not want to be alone now. I recall it was about 2:30 in the morning when a paw started scratching my face to wake me up,When i realized it was head holding on. I grabbed a hold of reality quickly to see what was wrong as head looked at me for the last time licked my hand and let out a yelp that pierced the quiet night and my heart and it was over. During his final breaths all i could do is reassure him he was going to be all right, that i never had left him, and to wait for me till i got there. I know he heard me, I know he stayed around even after to make shure i was alright, but he had to go now. I was completely crushed, numb, angry, and all of the other emotions that could possibly fit together to make this cyclone of hatred that was spinning out of controll in my head. We had saved a neighbors dog that was the runt of their litter from a father and a brother that liked to play tug of war with him. Head and him had become buddies and were always in the same place. I knew he had parvo too. Great, a week before Head i lost my basset hound Fred to lod age. 15 years gone. Head passed too soon, now this pup who was my only ties left to the legacy of Head. Four days later, with my check on a 5 day hold, a checkbook and an uncontrollable urgency to make things right i found a vet to take him in. Six days later he is almost ready to come home. I go every day to sit with him and let him know that if i'm going to fight for him that he has to fight for me. He has been dubbed, cranium rectum (head butt), or rec. for short.It seems that in the time Head and rec. spent together,was head's way of telling him that he was not going to be around much longer, and what would be rec's job in days to come. I have noticed too many likenesses in him that only head would do. From the burrying his head in my armpit to shy away from others, to the need for a sponge bath since water poured on him only freaked him out horridly. I can only believe that upon Head's departure a great part of his spirit went to reside in the body of rec. and thats how Head stayed with me even after death. Some say I sound crazy, but reincarnation is very self evident around here. Sometimes the bond between spirits is so strong that no force can ever break it. I know that one day, when my time is near, Head will be here to lick me once again and show mw the way to our own special place, where we can play once more. As for now, well im about to go visit Rec. and so what if i now sleep with a fluffy pink "bun bun", still smells like Head to me! I love you boy, thanks for the companionship, you made it not so hard to be home alone by myself. See you soon butt butt!

Comments would be appreciated by the author, Ryan Turne