by suzanne medley
June 8 2005 will be a day ill never forget when i had to make the decision of putting my friend to sleep, Foxy was a 7 year old rottweiler that i got when she was 8 weeks old she was the smartest most loyal dog ive ever had i sometimes believed she was once a human reincarnated into a dog with little training it was amazing to me at how smart she was, foxy would have gave her life for anyone in my household, its only been three days and im still trying to make myself believe that i did the right thing that day but now i cant stop telling myself that maybe the vet was wrong and we could have done something to save her but all i keep hearing is i did the best thing for her.I will never forget the last lick she gave me as if to tell me i love you and goodbye but you have to let me go, ill never understand how a dog who seemed like they were in such good health could turn for the worst in 2 days, thinking when i made the appointment that day to take her to the vet that whatever the cost they'd make her all better and at first as i left her there with that look on her face of dont leave me and me reassuring her that id be back tomorrow to get her when she was all better i never thought that i was going to have to make the most difficult decision in my life not even an hour later, the vet called to tell me that during the xrays the found a mass in her stomach and that cancer had taken over my bestfriends body it took every ounce of strength i had to go there and hold her while they put her body and soul at peace i layed there on the floor with her for an hour and she didnt even have the strength left to get up of the floor all i could tell her was how much i love her and was going to miss her and that i was so sorry and please dont hate me she gave me the look like she understood like she always did and i held her tight while they gave her the injection she was gone in seconds 7 years of friendship gone just like that, ill never understand or come to terms of why all that happened that day and hoping and praying that, that was the only humane thing i could do for her i just wish i had a warning so that our last days together could have been days she'd always rememeber and not days of her sick to where she couldnt eat and didnt even have the strength to get up in HER RECLINER to go to sleep if i would have known all this was coming i would have picked her up and layed her in her chair and had the vet send her up with the rest of the angels right here!Foxy if your listening please just like i asked you that day when its my turn please forgive me for what i did and no that i couldnt watch you suffer and please be there at the end of the rainbow waiting on me there will never be another angel like you!And not just me everyone misses you nobody as much i do except maybe your son he hasnt stopped looking for you yet and last time i let him outside i yelled your name to come back inside too i guess out of habit but when i did just maybe not in a physical sense you came back inside to, ill always keep your recliners and your son is doing a good job of keeping it warm i think he gets in it just waiting and hoping his mom will come home but dont worry you know ill take good care of him he hasnt left my side now that your gone im starting to see alot of you in him, but he will never take your place there will only be ONE FOXY BROWN just wait for me ok I love you girl and im sorry!!I MISS YOU ---Your best friend always and forever -Suzanne

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