Hey Bjorn, it's your cat-dad.

No words could truly describe you, but I think the closest would be gentle giant. You came into our lives a kitten, and transformed into a superstar. You were never the most vocal, that award goes to your brother. However, your presence filled the room with so much love and joy. You were an excellent host, unless some small children were involved. Everyone who met you instantly fell in love with you and your gorgeous coat of fur.

Our days laying in the back yard, enjoying the sun and listening to the birds chirp will be some of my most precious memories. Those weekend mornings, sipping coffee while watching you and your siblings chew grass and smell the latest scents in our backyard will always bring me back to a simpler time.

There is so much I wish I could say, so much more I wish I could have done. Just know, my love for you is eternal. You were the very first family member I had after moving to California. With that, you changed my perspective on life. You made me humble and helped me mature. I am grateful for that.

With your passing, you have once again taught me another lesson about the world. It may be bittersweet, but I am forever grateful.

Hi baby boy, it's me, mama.
My heart aches not being able to hold you and smother you with love and kisses. Thank you for tolerating my craziness, although... I know deep down you loved every moment of it. You pretended to hate it but always came back for more.

I need you to know that you filled my life with so much love and joy that I don't know I would ever be able to pay it forward. It's only been a few hours and already the house feels so empty without you.

You'd be happy to know though, your brother and sisters are doing an excellent job at comforting us. They have been working tirelessly although we can tell they are also grieving your departure. For now, we will try to keep moving forward and keep your memory alive. This isn't goodbye, we will meet again. In the meantime, enjoy your time in the meadows, chasing mice and sun bathing.

We love you and miss you, even Bella.
I know it feels like you hardly knew each other but she's known you and loved you since the day she was conceived. She wants you to know that she loved all the purring/ kneading sessions. <3

Until next time my sweet boy.

Love,

Momma and pappa

Our time together was perfect. You were always, and will always be, perfect. We'll see you on the other side, our sweet baby boy.

**01/02/2024**

Hey Bjorn, it's your cat-dad.

It's been one day since you've been gone. It feels surreal. I walk the halls of our home, seeing you in all your favorite spots. I turn the corner, expecting you to be there. Our doorbell rang and as I approached the door, the faintest spark of hope flared in my heart that'd you be there, on the other side of the door, waiting to come home. However, when I opened the door you weren't there. When I turned the corner, you weren't there. Your favorite spots are empty, but your memory still lives on, your presence is still felt in our home.

I know this pain will pass, and today has had its good moments. Your momma and I have been speaking of all your moments and (mis)adventures, from climbing up trees to your grumpy face when you go potty, haha. Those memories help the healing, and remind us how fortunate we were to have you in our life.

I dreamt of you as well. It was a brief moment, I saw you using your paw to open up our bathroom door - something you've always done in the morning to greet us. I briefly saw half of your beautiful face and gorgeous eyes, and my heart raced to open the door. When I opened it, you weren't there.

At first, that dream hurt... Then I thought about you, and that if spirits were real, how you would be as a spirit. You were always aloof, and always had to have attention on your terms. You wanted to be close, but not too close. I believe you were visiting me, but alas it was on your terms. Thank you for being you.

Your momma misses you greatly, and it pains me to see her hurt. I pray you visit her soon, I know you are just waiting as you know it will be too painful to see her so soon. You were always a momma's boy, and I trust you are keeping a faithful eye on her. Just like how you and your brother would sleep atop the couch seats as she napped, both of you being her furry guardians. We both love you for that.

Your sister Bella is growing marvelously, and while I know there weren't many - the few moments you shared with her we have been rewatching. Thank you for giving us those.

Your fursiblings, Siv, Khisa and Kiki have been extra sweet. I can sense they feel the void in our hearts and are looking for ways to fill it. Siv has been keeping your tower warm. Kiki did her first belly twist today, something that was only a signature move of yours. Khisa has been keeping close... she curled up with me on the night of your departure. I swear it's almost as if you gave them instructions on how to care for us. I am forever grateful for you and your love.

I'll be writing to you soon, my sweet baby boy.

Hi sweet Bjorn,

Momma here again. I can't believe it's been a whole day without you already. It still feels like i'm living in a nightmare i'm about to awaken from. But alas it's not that kind of "dream" from which I could just awaken from.

Today, I stood by your favorite cat tower spot... you know the one in our room with the window view of the town...I stood there with a little locket of your fur. We looked out the window and soaked in the beauty of the mountain view and all the birds flying by... all meanwhile the sun was about to set.
I never understood why you liked that spot so much, until now. Today I stood there and observed the world go by and could only imagine what would go through your head as you would sit on your tower perch and do the same. It is now my new favorite thing to do.

Watching the sun set and just taking a moment to soak it all in will be a regular thing we will do with your sister Bella. Papa said it best, there weren't many but the few moments you shared with Bella are a saved precious memory that we've been watching and rewatching.

During your first ER visit, when they told us the heartbreaking news and we visited you briefly while on recovery, we asked that you don't give up. We asked you to fight and perhaps you'd be able to meet the baby when he/she was born. Little did we know that baby would be a beautiful lil girl. But you knew that already didn't you? You looked over her ever day. Always staying near by and caring for us (her and I).

We didn't realize it back then, but looking back now, it's clear that you were only holding on until we were able to bring her home for you to meet her. We can see the love in your eyes as you instantly bonded with her when we brought her home. I'm sorry we didn't notice sooner, we were so sleep deprived. I'm very grateful we were able to capture that moment on video. This way, we will never forget and we can watch and rewatch you two share a moment of pure love. I know you only had a couple days together but they were magical and full of pure love. Please know that she will know all about you. We will not let a day go by without reminding her of how much you loved her. So much so that you waited until she was brought home safely.

It's been really hard roaming the halls without you here giving us a twist or asking for belly rubs.
And yes, papa was not lying when he said Kiki has been filling that void by asking for belly rubs.

We miss you my love. Not just Papa and I, but all of us, Kiki, Khisa, Siv, Bella and even grandma.

Until next time my sweet Bjorn,

Your family who miss you dearly.

**01/03/2024**

Hey Bjorn, it's your cat-dad and, more importantly, your best friend.

Today was rough. Your brother Siv was asking to be fed and when I went downstairs to feed him and your sisters... I swear I could see you running to your feeding spot, with so much detail that you were still in the room. Your bow-legged little wobble as you excitedly shuffled off for breakfast will be one of my most precious memories.

Your momma and I proceeded to watch the sunrise from your favorite spot... we can truly see why you loved it so much. I am grateful that in your final months you were able to enjoy such a gorgeous view, from the neighbors, birds and toads to seeing the mountains in the distance having clouds pass through them.

The pain feels less, but only so. Still... an emptiness resides in my heart. There is a void that you filled and now I try to busy my mind to not feel it.

Tonight, your brother curled up with your baby sister Bella for the first time. It was a great moment, however all we could think of was wishing you were also at the foot of the bed, watching TV with us.

Earlier, I had listen to music to help process these emotions. One song came up that brought some peace. Adventure Time's "Time Adventure" song. Here are the lyrics, buddy:

Time is an illusion that helps things makes sense
So we're always living in the present tense
It seems unforgiven when a good thing ends
But you and I will always be back then
You and I will always be back then
You and I will always be back then
You and I will always be back then

Singing will happen, happening, happened
will happen, happening, happened
And will happen again and again
Cause you and I will always be back then

If there was some amazing force outside of time
To take us back to where we were
And hang each moment up like pictures on the wall
Inside a billion tiny frames so that we could see it all...all...all
It would look like

Will happen, happening, happened
Will happen, happening, happened
And will happen again and again
Cause you and I will always be back then
Cause you and I will always be back then
Cause you and I will always be back then
That's why
You and I will always be best friends

To know our adventures will happen again and again brings peace to my heart. That there is a me out there tapping on the glass at your adopter shelter. That there is a you out there who taps back. And we go on our adventure another time around makes me smile, even if there are tears.

More so... that's why, my baby Bjorn, you and I will always be best friends.

I want you to know, that life may make it hard for me to write to you every day, but you will always be in my thoughts. I promise I will write to you as soon as I can. We miss you, our baby boy. We love you so much.

Hi my love,

Today was rough in so many ways. There isn't a thing in this house that doesn't remind me of you. Your simple and sweet meow, your (ever so rare) purr, the way your undercoat hair would get on every piece of clothing we own or even how your claws would get stuck on the couch and you'd call for help.

Today, while resting I had an urge to go to your favorite cat tree and look out the window. I'm still not sure why but I stood there staring at the clouds. I took a picture to capture the beauty of this day. Although rainy, sad and gloomy... the view from your window gave it a touch of magic that made my day a little better.

Our Christmas tree is still up, your very first cat bed (from when you were just a lil kitten) still lies under it. I don't know if I will be able to put it away. I can still see you laying under the tree, just napping and/or keeping a close eye on us while papa prepped dinner.

Oh I miss you dearly my sweet Bjorn. I miss our cuddle sessions or just having you near by.
No matter where I went or what I was doing, you were always there, close by, keeping me company.

Something I'm dreading... is going back to work. Because coming back home after a long day at work will never be the same. I will no longer find you waiting for me at the front door. I will no longer hear your happy chirp to see me arrive. I will no longer get to give you a big hug to wash my day away. I will no longer get to pet you goodbye in the mornings. It will no longer be the same.

Today was rough. I miss you more than ever.
Until we meet again my love.

Love,

Momma

**01/04/2024**

Hey Bjorn, it's your cat-dad and best friend.

Today hurt. I could feel father time march on as life began to continue. Resuming routines felt... hollow. As if in a way I was betraying you. I know this isn't true, but still it hurt. Going to the gym, for a few brief moments things felt back to normal - only to know you are gone. Walking back into the house, I was greeted by your brother and sisters, and for a moment I hoped to see you.

Your baby sister Bella is growing so fast. We have told her so many stories about you. From how we first got you, to how you pooped yourself during your first ever fourth of July. Rest easy knowing you will be a part of her life.

Each day it hurts a little less. Just know though, my love for you has only grown. Your momma and I have started a memory book, where we can write down all of our memories of you so they will never be forgotten. We are already planning where to put your ashes when you come back to us. You will always be a part of our family and in our hearts.

We miss you Bjorn and we love you so, so much!!!!

**01/05/2024**

Hey Bjorn, it's your cat-dad and best friend.

It's been another day and the pain is still here. Seeing you on our phone's screensavers reminds me just how gorgeous you are. We added several new memories into your memory book today. Your momma misses you so much. Your Momma and I looked over your spot as the sun rose and set... it makes us smile to know you had a beautiful view in your final days.

Your sister Bella is a firecracker, to put it lightly. I think you two would have continued to complement each other. She would be the fire to your water. We tell her about you every day.

We miss you so much. Just know, Momma and Poppa may be sad right now, but we'll get through this. And through it all, we will love you forever and ever.

Hi my baby Bjorn,

Writing to you has been in a lot of ways therapeutic because living life without you has been very sad and depressing. It helps to know that you are safe and without pain. That you now get to enjoy outside time all the time and that sadness does not exist where you are at. I know that you miss us too but rest assure, we will once meet again.

Life on earth without you will never be the same.

Today I was going through my videos, I found an old video of when you were only about 3 years old. I was working on my crafts for my shop and you thought it was play time. You kept trying to mess with my work. I could see how much fun you were having and I could hear the joy in my voice as I asked you to stop and let me work but in reality I didn't want you to stop because you seemed so happy and excited to have some "us" time. You made my working days so much more difficult and long but I would never change any of it. Those working days were also some of my favorite "us" time.

We miss you dearly my baby Bjorn. Until we meet again.

Love,

Momma & Pappa

**01/06/2024**

Hey Bjorn, it's your cat-dad and best friend.

Today was a bit better, but still not the same. Routines are getting a little easier, and it is getting easy to distract the mind.

We watched a movie today, your fursiblings, Momma, Grandma and Bella were there. All the while, I would scan the room and could see which spots you would be laying. At the top of the landing, in the center of the room, on the arm of the couch, in your sister's travel basinet (haha). I wish you were here to enjoy these times with us.

I take comfort knowing you are at peace, no longer suffering. No more medicine to take, no more doctor trips to dread, no more bad days, no more meh days. You get to run freely in the meadows, chasing after junebugs, chewing on grass, and laying on your back letting your belly soak up the sun.

We can't wait to see you again.

We love and miss you, our baby Bjorn.

- Momma and Pappa

**01/07/2024**

Hey Bjorn, it's your cat-dad and best friend.

Momma and I missed you quite a bit today. We had family over for dinner and all we could think about was how you'd be such a great host. We wish you were here, as the house just feels incomplete without you. I try to remind myself you are at peace now, but how I would give anything to spend one more day with you. To hold you, to have you snuggle up against my armpit, to see you dancing with Momma again.

After dinner, I laid in bed and could hear your water fountain running. I can still hear the scraping of your tongue as you poorly attempt to drink water, haha. I still remember your momma teaching you how to drink water as a kitten. How you curled up in your cat bed after, so exhausted. Little did we know what journey we would go on together. A journey I would go on again, and again - without hesitation.

We miss you so much, Bjorn. We only take comfort knowing we will see you again. We will give you so many belly rubs, so many treats and so much time in the sun.

We love you so very much, our baby boy Bjorn.

- Momma and Pappa

**01/08/2024**

Hi my love, It's momma.

It'll be exactly one week to the dot since you have been gone. It is now 4:50pm and it was around this time last week that we had to say our goodbye.
It hurts to remember the day we shared a final look. I looked into your eyes and you briefly looked into mine. I want to believe that you knew we were only trying to help you.

I remember how much at peace you looked as you drifted into a deep sleep. It was painful and my heart shattered into pieces but there was a sense of relief knowing you were no longer in pain or hurting in any way.

We miss you more and more everyday.

We remember you with love. We watch videos and photos of you. Thank you for making it all that easy for us to love you. Like poppa told me once "It only hurts that much because we loved him(you) that that much".
It'll never stop hurting and no matter how painful it gets, we will keep your memory alive.

You were and will always be our first (fur)baby. You were there for us through every painful event in our life, through all the struggles through all the losses and at the end, you were there to welcome our precious rainbow baby Bella.
It's as if you came into our life with a purpose, a purpose fulfilled.
You've done well. Better than well. A thousand times thank you. <3

Your brother Siv has been laying on your cat perch downstairs, window watching as you often would. I'm sure he's doing so in your memory. How do I know you ask? Because of your blanket, whereever it goes, he goes. I tried moving it once to the couch as I was trying to fix up your area and he was not happy with me. You know Siv, he's got a lot of 'tude. haha

Your sisters are still trying to understand our new normal, just as poppa and I am too. They are doing well though. They are big snugglers now. Khisa has been laying in bed with us more often. Not going to lie, we are loving it. They have really come a long way.

Your baby sister Bella, she is growing so fast. The newborn clothes in which she was swimming in (just) last week are now a snug fit. She's eating so well and boy she came out with some powerful lungs. If she is unhappy about something, she will make you aware of it. She also has a very expressive face. It has been a lot of fun watching her make cute little faces. I wish you were here to see for yourself.

Until we meet again my love,

Momma & poppa.

Hey Bjorn, it's your cat-dad and best friend.

It's been a week since you've passed and it hurts every day since. These new memories being made, I end up wishing you were there to experience them with us. It feels as if there is a missing puzzle piece that I just cannot find or fill.

You've been with us through so much, and were always such a stoic guardian through it all. I want you to know how much you mean to me. My love for you will never fade away, and your memories will live on in my heart forever. One day, we will meet again and create new memories together. I cannot wait for that precious day, to hear your sweet chirp and gentle tilt of your head.

And when we do meet again, I will share all the stories since you've passed. Tell you about all the adventures we went on with momma, Bella, Siv, Kiki and Khisa. I'll make sure to give you every detail, as I want you to feel as if you were there. Because you are, you are there within our hearts through it all.

I'll want to hear about all your adventures too, and all the new friends you've met. All the new smells you've smelled, and all the new places you have seen. You are my best friend, and best friends keep each other in the loop.

I am grateful every day for having you in my life. I can only hope your baby sister will one day get to experience such a powerful love. As even though it may hurt much, it only does due to how much I love you.

I thought a lot about you today, and as the sun set and I looked at the night sky - I thought back to the condo we use to live in. You would sleep downstairs by the sliding window door all night. Sleeping in your little perch we had set up. I wonder how many unique stories you have from all the things you've seen out there. From mice to stray cats, to seeing the insects fly about at night. To this day you still have your secrets, and it makes me love you even more.

Everyone is doing well. Bella is growing bigger, and has taken a cue from Siv on being vocal for food. Siv, I can tell is lonely and is trying to sort out all that has happened. We have been doing our best to give him attention. He has been keeping your favorite spots warm.

Kiki and Khisa have become more affectionate and playful. I see them joining us in bed more and see them running about chasing one another in the day. I can tell they are missing you. Rest easy though, Momma and Pappa will take care of them. You enjoy your time in the sunny meadows, you've earned it.

I'll write to you soon, my baby boy.

I miss you and love you so, so much.

**01/15/2024**

Hey Bjorn, it's your cat-dad and best friend.

It's been two weeks since you crossed to the rainbow bridge and the house still doesn't feel the same. Sitting down in the kitchen, I can still see you laying in all your favorite spots. I remember how you would lay down, you would just plop to the ground. It was so uncoordinate, but also so charming. Thinking of it makes me smile and makes the day go by a little bit better.

We still have your Christmas tree set up, with your cat bed underneath. I don't think we'll be bringing it down for a long time. You always loved your Christmas tree. You'd so quickly go under it once it was set up, and just lounge about and watch us from your little hiding spot. I hope you have found several trees where you're at, you deserve them all.

Close friends came by this weekend, and they also were mourning your passing. I just wanted you to know that... you were loved by so many and you still are loved.

Your sister Bella is growing so faster, she has taken a play from your book and is not shy to express when she is hungry, haha. I think you two would get along great. Every morning we still take her to your view and talk about you. How beautiful you were, how clumsy you were, how stoic and how much of a gentle giant you were. You may be making a new story now, but I want you to know we will make sure this story lives on.

Your siblings miss you. I can tell Siv, Khisa and Kika are slowly adjusting but it is not quite the same. Siv has assumed the role of top cat, and his regime is a bit different from yours. I can see it in his eyes though, he misses you. We all miss you.

Your momma is still hurting quite a bit. We got a necklace with your engraving on it, and put a small bit of your furr in it. It isn't the same, but, in a way, you are still with us - and still a part of our home.

I miss you, buddy. I miss talking to you while doing day-to-day activities. I miss inserting your name into random songs or sayings, like our rendition of Barbie's, "I'm just Bjorn." I miss watching Momma dance with you. I miss you sitting on the kitchen table watching me prep dinner so I'd start to explain to you what I was cooking.

I catch myself doing it every so often still. It hurts, but in a good way. Its a reminder that I got to love something so great.

We love and miss you so much, our baby boy.

I'll write to you soon. Until then, enjoy bathing in the sun and chasing after junebugs.

Love You Forever,
Momma and Poppa

**01/26/2024**
Hi my love,

I'm sorry we haven't written lately. We miss very VERY much. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and your soulful eyes.

It has now been almost four weeks since your departure to the rainbow bridge. It is so hard to believe it's been that long... living knowing I will no longer get to hug you, kiss you and wipe off your little eye buggers has been challenging but your fur brother and fur sisters have been helping me navigate through my emotions. They can tell when I am missing you and either one of them comes over to snuggle with me until I feel better or they hear the pantry door open. lol

Last Sunday, your papa, Bella and I took a road trip to pick up your ashes. Boy that was a rough day. Feelings of anger, sadness and disbelief all came rushing back. It was like I was reliving the whole thing all over again. Then papa reminded me, that you were no longer suffering, struggling to breath and in pain. He reminded me that you are now a happy goof ball of fur, running in the meadows chasing mice and sunbathing. Thinking about how happy you must be without any suffering, put me at ease.

Yesterday, Bella turned 1 month old. Can you believe that?! Where has the time gone? It feels like we just brought her home from the hospital.
She's grown so much! I dare say, she now feels heavier than you, lol. I'm exaggerating of course, she's only like 8-9 lbs? But I really think that in a week or two she will (for sure) be as heavy as you. Trust me, she loves to eat. :P
You and her would have gotten along so well. I know that for a fact. Maybe one day you two will get to meet again. In the meantime, we will continue to tell her about you and all your mischievous adventures.

Remember that time we took you out for a bike ride? I still have pictures of that day. I remember how much you hated the bike ride, you wined and would hide your head in the blanket. I also remember how you acted all tough as we came back home. You didn't want to show any weakness in front of your for brothers and fursisters. haha
Ohh Bjorn, you were not afraid to be a little baby with me but you always had to be a tough guy in front of everyone else... I love you, I miss you.

Love you,

Momma

**02/01/2024**

Hey Bjorn,

It's your cat-dad and best friend.

It's been a bit since I've wrote, it's not because I haven't been thinking about you. I think about you every day. Every time I walk into the garage, I can hear your meow. I still remember back in December, when we had all the Christmas decorations out in the garage. One evening I went into the garage and I saw your head pop up and you meowed, it was almost as if you were saying, "Here I am!".

Every time I go into the garage I think of that, and every time I secretly hope you would show up again.

We got your ashes recently, and while it is not the same - it does bring comfort knowing you're with us in some way. I tell you good morning every day and good night every evening. I hugged you today... it's hard to think it's been over a month. Not a single day goes by where I don't think about you.

Today of all days, I kept thinking of you. I saw you laying in the hall ways at your usual spots. I wish I could have held you or pet your belly one more time. I would give anything to have one more day with you.

So many memories have been made and it hurts to know you aren't there. Your grandpa came to visit, and he was so happy to see your sister Bella. We were all happy, but I would end up thinking how I wish you were here to enjoy the moment.

It's hard knowing your story will no longer have new chapters... I wanted our story to continue forever, even if I know that isn't rational. You are my best friend, my furbaby, my companion - I never wanted you to leave.

I take comfort in knowing that while you may not have new chapters.. you will always appear in the footnotes of the new chapters your momma and I make. We tell Bella about you every day. She has the same tendency to "bjorn out" when she is hungry, just like you!

Your sister has grown so much. It is truly an amazing experience. I only wish you could see it for yourself, but don't worry - I'll keep you up to date. She is close to 10lbs now and she is beginning to grab onto things. It's exciting but also a lot of work! She loves to put us in "nap traps"- where she can only sleep if she is holding onto momma or I. It's exhausting, but great at the same time. Her two month check up is soon, and I will let you know how it goes.

Your fur sisters and brother are doing well. I can tell they are trying to fill the void that you left for your mother and I. They are being their best, and I can tell they miss you. No one has laid in your spots ever since.

I love you, Bjorn. I love you so much. Your momma loves you so much. I can tell she is sad today... please watch over her. Let her know it'll be okay.

I'll write to you soon buddy. You enjoy yourself across the rainbow bridge. Have fun chasing mice, catching junebugs and bathing in the sun. I hope you've made plenty of friends. I can't wait to hear all about your adventures some day.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

- Momma and Papa