Charles was adopted by my ex-wife in October of 2016. He was part of an animal abuse/neglect case and weighed only 53lbs at the time, had a heartbreaking cough (which was pneumonia) and had very little fur due to mange and parasites. The other dog that was confiscated with him at the time was put down immediately because it was just too far gone. We nursed Charles back to health. He would grow to be about 95lbs, no cough, had fur and was the sweetest guy. After the ex and I got divorced, I took Charles to my house because the ex got another dog that was bullying him. I was hesitant about taking him but once I saw him getting bullied I wanted to take him. I still feel some guilt over that.

Charles lived at my house from April 2019 until he left on March 16, 2024. We had great times together playing frisbee and ball in the backyard, going on walks and just being buddies. I wasn't working at the time so all of my time was dedicated to him. I spent about 23 hours a day with him for 3.5 years. The sun, moon and stars rose and set on him at my house. My kids and I adored him. I don't think anyone had ever played with him before and he loved every minute of it. I loved to make him happy-we would play in the backyard 5-6...sometimes 10 times a day. In the summer of 2021 he started to slow down-he would 'walk fast' to chase tennis balls. I knew this was a sign he was getting older. Over the years he slowed down and the play sessions in the yard got shorter and shorter. Oh do I miss those days with him.

On Thursday March 14, 2024, at about 9:45am, I was working from home and he had a seizure. I was supposed to be in the offie that day and I am so glad that I was home so I knew what was going on with him. I made an appointment with a vet to come to the house the following Monday but he had a seizure on Friday morning (2am), Friday night (9pm) and Saturday morning at 9am. I knew nature was going to take him and that the least I could do for my best friend was give him mercy. I took him to the vet where he had another seizure while they were sedating him. When they brought him into the room he was already unconscious. I didn't get to say goodbye to my baby boy because of the seizure. That makes me sad but it was beyond my control. The vet said taht at his age, the cause of the seizures was likely a brain tumor. I'm so sorry buddy, I just didn't know. In my grief I declined to get his ashes after his cremation. I will always regret that.

In some ways it feels like you've been gone for years...in others it feels like only yesterday.

It feels like only yesterday we were playing ball in the backyard on a gorgeous fall day. The shadows were long and a gust of wind would blow and you would raise your nose to sniff the breeze. Your ears would be blowing in the wind. Then you'd look at me intently waiting for me to throw the ball.

It feels like only yesterday we would be on a morning walk and we would hear someone playing a sad melody on a piano at the corner of our street.

It feels like only yesterday we met the lady with the Chow and German shepherd and she said you were a pretty dog. She was only one of a handful of people we talked to on our walks. We looked for her every time we went that way for 4 years but never saw her again.

It feels like only yesterday you were wrapped up in a blanket on your bed in front of the fireplace on a cold winter night.

It feels like only yesterday the girls and I would say "goodnight Charles" before we went to sleep and you would let out a groan. And we would all laugh.

It feels like only yesterday we would come in from a walk in the rain and I would say "Towlie!" and you would get so excited. That may have been your favorite thing in the whole world.

It feels like only yesterday I was folding laundry in the bedroom and you would be laying in the sun on the floor next to me. I would shove my feet under your back and you would lazily look up at me and then lay back down. I would look to see if the gap in the trees was still there between our house and the neighbor. Last year was the first year the gap was gone...but so were you.

It feels like only yesterday we were walking the nature trails and sidewalks of the neighborhood. I would take pictures of sunsets and sunrises and always comment to you whether it was a good one or not.

It feels like only yesterday I would be getting home from the grocery store and you would meet me by the door to the house and sniff me to see where I'd been. I would say "Security!" and eventually you would be done.

It feels like only yesterday we went down to the lake and you would go in the water. I regret not taking you off the leash more those days.

Oh Charles I wish I could relive those days with you. You were the love of my life. I only had you for 1,645 days...I wish it could have been more.

Oh Charles I love you so
It hurts so much to let you go.
I will always miss you buddy.
I will always love you.

5/20/25
Charles
It's so hard to lose a friend. I love you so much.
I'm at a conference for work but I'm missing you.
Miss you so much buddy.

5/23/25
Oh Charles, they just mowed the lawn like they always do on Fridays. We would always go play in the backyard right after they left. I remember the smell of cut grass as we played ball. The backyard used to be so full of life and love. Playing ball was the thing you loved more than anything. Now it's just a yard with grass and trees. It's been 2 years since we played in the yard right after it got mowed. Those memories are so vivid. I love you buddy.

6/5/2025
64 weeks ago today I discovered my baby boy having a seizure. 64 weeks ago today I knew I was going to lose my best friend-I knew he was going to be gone in a matter of days. 48 hours later, he was gone. I miss the days we spent together buddy. We had a great life together. I miss your simplicity. I miss playing ball with you in the backyard. I wish I could relive those days with you again. I will always love you.

6/12/25
Two months after you came to live with me, the people behind us moved in. They lived there until about 2 weeks before you left. They had 2 dogs, Baxter and Josie that would always bark at us when they got outside. Or when we went outside. They would bark when we'd play ball in our yard. We would go on walks at night and the family would be at their fire pit. There was always something going on up there. If I even meet them I will tell them how they provided the canvas on which my life with you was painted. I miss you buddy.