Where do I begin? It has taken me over a month to put pen to paper. I have been numb. It sounds terrible to say but I have not been able to think about you being gone. I keep pretending you are at the hospital getting well and will be home soon, after so many trips to the hospital. I can't wrap my head around this. I have loved and lost so many fur babies, but the loss of you has ripped out my heart and I don't think I will ever be the same. They told me that you were 5 years old when I adopted you. The vet said you were closer to 8 years old. I only had you 4 1/2 short years. It is never long enough.

You came from a backyard breeder, a puppy mill survivor from Texas. Your foster mom Linda Van A. drove almost 11 hours to rescue you from that situation after getting a call from the breeder that you were "no longer useful" and he was "going to take you out back and shoot you in the head" if someone didn't come to get you before the end of the day.

They called you "Reba", probably because you had reddish fur. It was a ridiculous name for you. You were only 5.6 pounds of fluff when I first got you. They said you were a "poochon"...poodle/bichon or toy poodle mix. You were delicate, tiny...like a little ballerina. You literally pranced when you walked or ran. I renamed you "Cosette Isabelle". I wanted you to have a beautiful, dignified French name after everything you had been through. "Cosette" from Les Miserable meaning "something small" ("little thing"; originally referred to a lamb raised by hand as a pet because its mother died, requiring intensive care to survive) and "Isabelle" meaning "pledged to God". I adopted you from Friends of Homeless Animals Rhode Island (FOHARI). I found out that I was approved to adopt you on Sept 8th, 2021 (Feast of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary). I picked you up in the parking lot of Petsmart 1386 Atwood Ave in Johnston, Rhode Island at noon on Saturday Sept 18, 2021. You were transported from Texas by Mighty Might Shipping. There was a huge truck in the parking lot and when the doors opened, all we could hear was barking. I remember a beautiful Rottweiler who joyfully bounded down the ramp from the truck into the arms of his waiting new mom & dad---it looked like he was returning home to them after a long trip and like he had known them forever. After a while, this tiny little dog was finally carried out. It was you. They put you in my arms and I remember thinking that you will never have to worry about anything ever again. You were so nervous and were clinging to me as I held you. I pledged my love to you that day and forever more. Our FOHARI friend Donna G. snapped our first picture together.

After we picked you up, we started the trip home. You were sitting on Terry's lap on a blanket. We stopped for a coffee at Dunkin Donuts. As we were drinking our coffee and eating a cinnamon coffee roll, you suddenly decided you wanted a piece of that coffee roll. After you ate a few small pieces of the coffee roll, I knew that you were going to be alright.

We drove for a few hours and then stopped in Noak, Ct at Abbott's Lobster in the Rough. You were with us as we sat by the water on that hot day, with the breeze blowing from the ocean. It was a new start for all of us.

When we got home that night, Annabelle, Heinrich, Noel, Charlotte and Big Daddy were all there to greet you. You were instantly accepted. You were by my side as Susie battled ovarian cancer...and you comforted me when she died on Aug 10, 2022.

I had many nicknames for you..."Cozy", "Pat Benatar" (because of your punk rock hairdo), "Little Birdie". I will always remember this endearing ritual: when I asked you to "show me the chicken leg", you would roll over on your back and put your little left back leg all the way up in the air... like a high kick from a miniature Rockette...

For the last two years of your life, we battled...myxomatous mitral valve disease, left-sided congestive heart failure, severe pulmonary hypertension, left ventricular systolic dysfunction, cough, severe tracheal collapse. I had you on a strict medication regimen. pimobendan, Salix, Enalapril, spironolactone...then theophylline, torsomide (UpCard), hydrocodone. You were a strong little baby and managed it well most of the time. Of course, we had at least 4 hospitalizations across 2 years---the last one was May 4-7, 2026. When I picked you up on May 7th 2026 it was truly a miracle that I never thought I would see after visiting you in the oxygen tent that week. But I received another blessing and we were able to stabilize you.

After 11 days home with me, on May 18th I took you to the cardiologist in the hopes to see what further help we could give you because you were on so much medication. I'll never forget the trip to Westchester alone that blistering hot day with you in the car as you coughed and were nervous. They ran all kinds of tests and we made a slight adjustment to your medication. Unexpectedly, you crashed on May 20th. Back to VCAH, but this time there was no miracle and you did not come home. You could no longer breathe, even in an oxygen tent. I made the agonizing decision I never wanted to make. Dr. Collins helped you cross the Rainbow Bridge. I was with you when you left me. You were in my arms when you crossed over at 8:32 PM as my heart shattered into a million pieces...

"'May flights of Angels sing thee to thy rest.' In loving memory of Cosette Isabelle...I know you are with Susie now and she is taking care of you until I can see you both again...

"But, of course, it isn't really Good-bye, because the Forest will always be there... and anybody who is Friendly with Bears can find it..." A.A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner

Please also visit Alfie, Chloe Costa-Strachan, Finlay Seamus ("Shay"), Fred W. Farkle, Heinrich Claus, Noel Barkley, Oscar, Percy Faith, Rheinhardt Schultz, Scarlett Cordelia, Violette "Baby Momma" and Wolfie.