I remember the first day that I set eyes on you and your sisters, Buttons and Inky. I was volunteering for the local humane society. I got a call to go pick up some kittens and their mother at a house off of Classen in March 2007. I was going to foster you guys until you got big enough to adopt out. You and your sisters were just 3 or 4 weeks old and so small that you fit in the palm of my hand! You were so cute. Carmen, your mother, was less than thrilled to be living in my bathroom now. She would take you and your sisters and hide under the sink. Eventually, you all got used to me coming in and feeding you and became more comfortable with me. You were so much fun when all of you were kittens. I enjoyed watching you play with each other and your mother would often join in. I remember one night I left you out on the balcony and all 3 of you curled up on top of a box and went to sleep. After 5-6 months, it was time to adopt you and your sisters out. I remember taking you to Petsmart and leaving you up there in the cages. I didn't like that you had to live in a cage but I knew you would find a good home. You and Buttons were adopted out to a woman and her son in Yukon. I missed you terribly after you and Buttons were gone. Fortunately for me, the both of you had become so used to me that you wouldn't come out from under the bed in your new home. The woman brought you guys back and I ended up being your forever home! We were meant to be together! |
You were always the quiet and sensitive cat. You and Buttons were quite a pair! I miss so much you running and chasing each other around in the apartment and playing outside! You and Buttons would take turns laying in the warm dryer - so funny! It was just you and me, Isabella, the last 3 years. It was so hard after Buttons passed. You brought me so much comfort over the years, Isabella. More than you will ever know. I will miss you laying in my lap and kneading me - "making biscuits". I loved it when you used to stretch out in my lap and I would stroke your body. I will miss you pawing me in the face in the mornings letting me know you were hungry. I will miss you laying in front of the sliding glass door in the mornings when the sun would shine in and laying out on the balcony. I loved scratching your tummy when you were stretched out on the floor. I'll also miss our little walks that we would take together around the building and sitting together out on the sidewalk in the spring and summer. You slept next to me most every night and that was a great comfort to me. I loved you more than you will ever know and you were so dear to me, sweet girl.
I will miss seeing your sweet little face each morning and night. You were such a loving, tenderhearted, kind, and pure soul. Thank you for loving me and being my friend, precious girl.
I love you so. You will always be a part of me and in my heart forever, Isabella. You, me, Buttons, and Inky will be together again one sweet day!
I Thought of You Today
I woke early this morning, lifted the shade
to a sky overcast and gray,
No ray of sun to brighten my heart,
and I thought of you today.
The breezes of summer are no more
and have moved along on their way.
The crisp air of autumn has settled in,
and I thought of you today.
The crunch of the leaves under my feet,
I remembered how you loved to play,
chasing the leaves across the yard,
and I thought of you today.
As the daylight faded into dusk
and the shadows came to play,
I lit a candle and watched the flame dance,
and I thought of you today.
I crawled into bed, turned out the lamp
and glanced where you used to lay.
The tears came again, as they always do,
as I thought of you today.
To Isabella, my precious friend
Another poem that I found:
I stood by your bed last night,
I came to have a peep.
I saw that you were crying....
You found it hard to sleep.
I whispered to you softly,
as you brushed away a tear.
"It's me, I haven't left you.....
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast.
I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times,
your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at my grave today,
you tend it with such care.
I just want you to know that
"I am not really lying there."
I walked with you towards the house,
as you fumbled for your key,
I gently put my paw on you,
I smiled and said, "It's me."
You looked so very tired,
and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know,
that I was standing there.
You sat there very quietly, then smiled.
I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.
I'm here so close beside you,
so near you every day.
Believe me when I tell you,
"I never went away."
The day is over...
I smile and watch you yawn and say,
"Good night, God Bless,
I'll see you in the morning".
And when the time is right
for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you,
and we'll stand side by side.
I have so many things to show you,
there is so much to for you to see.
live your journey out.....
then come home to me.
I'm Still Here
by Darlene Freeman-Ciulla
Your heart has been heavy
since that day.
The day you thought,
I went away.
I haven't left you...
I never would.
You just can't see me,
though I wish you could.
It might ease the pain
that you feel in your heart.
The pain that you felt,
since you believed us to part.
Try and think of it this way
it might help you see.
That I am right here with you,
and will always be.
That's how it is now
when you look for my face,
I'm still right beside you,
Still filling my place.
I find it to be so very sad,
that seeing and believing seem to go hand-in-hand.
The love and the loyalty,
the warmth that I gave,
You felt them,
but you believed just the same.
I walk with you now
like I walked with you then.
My pain is now gone,
and I lead once again.
My eyes always following you
wherever you roam,
Making sure you're ok,
and you're never alone.
Our time was too short
yet for me it goes on.
I won't ever leave you,
I'll never be gone.
I live in your heart
as you live in mine.
A never ending love
that continues to shine.
To Isabella, my best friend
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the star shine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.
Author - Mary Elizabeth Frye (1932)
To Isabella, my best friend
So many things, they come and go,
Like waves upon a beach,
So many things we cannot touch,
Like stars beyond our reach.
What comforts us, those things that stay,
A thing that was, as still it is,
For me, that thing was you.
Were you to me, Polaris,
By you I'd find my way,
When I was lost, you'd point me home,
In the dark before the day.
Throughout the years and all my tears,
I knew I had a friend,
Someone who cared when I was scared,
And who would me defend.
A guiding light, a trusted friend,
An anchor in the storm,
A fire bright, in the dark of night,
The flame that kept me warm.
To: Isabella, my best friend
WE HAVE A SECRET
We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in fire glow?
And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed,
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.
And only I can see you lay in the sun
on each blooming knoll I pass,
and when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.
- Author Unknown
To my precious, Isabella
IF I COULD BE WHERE YOU ARE
Where are you this moment?
Only in my dreams.
You're missing, but you're always
A heartbeat from me.
I'm lost now without you,
I don't know where you are.
I keep watching, I keep hoping,
But time keeps us apart.
Is there a way I can find you?
Is there a sign I should know?
Is there a road I could follow
To bring you back home?
Winter lies before me
Now you're so far away.
In the darkness of my dreaming
The light of you will stay.
If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are.
If I could reach out and touch you
And bring you back home.
Is there a way I can find you?
Is there a sign I should know?
Is there a road I can follow
To bring you back home...
To my precious Buttons and Isabella
It's so hard to believe that you're gone, sweet girl. I hope to see you outside laying on the sidewalk or laying in the sun on the balcony. I look for you everywhere. But you're not there anymore and my heart hurts so much because of it. I think about you everyday. I'm so sorry that you got sick in May and that I couldn't make you well. The day that I dreaded finally came to pass on Wednesday morning, July 8. I hope that I was a comfort to you that final morning. I woke up early that Wednesday morning and I could see that you weren't going to last much longer. I laid down next to you and stroked you until you passed and asked God to take you so that your suffering would end. I told you how much I loved you and thanked you for loving me and being my friend. I told you that it was ok for you to go now. I had hoped that you could make it to the end of the week so Dr. Wilkens could come over and help you pass more easily but it didn't work out that way. When Dr. Wilkens told me on Monday, July 6, that there was nothing more he could do and that you didn't have much longer, I just wanted to bring you home so you could enjoy your final days with me and pass quietly at home. I didn't want you to pass in a veterinary office with people you didn't know. I didn't know you would be gone in 36 hours. I'm glad that we got to sit outside together in the summer breeze one last time that Monday night. I'm so sorry that I misjudged things and if I caused you any suffering. Please forgive me. You were such a precious, loving soul. I love and miss you sweet girl. You will never have to worry about getting sick again. Rest in Peace, Isabella.
Well, baby girl, it's been 3 months since you passed from this world. I still miss you so much, Isabella. I frequently look out on the patio for you. I look at the towel on the bed and remember how you used to sleep there all the time. It's been really hard, Isabella. Realizing that the both of you are now gone is so hard for me to get used to. I sometimes get frustrated with Rosie because she's not like you or Buttons. It's not her fault. She's who she is. She's coming around and becoming more friendly. I love and miss you, Isabella. I have been going thru pictures of you recently and have framed a few of my favorites. What I wouldn't give to have more time with you and Buttons. I'm thankful that God let me have the both of you for 10 and 13 years. Thanks for being my friend and for loving me. I love and miss you, Isabella. I hope it is warm and sunny where you are and that you and Buttons are able to lay out in the sunshine on the green grass. Please visit from time to time, if you can. The tears came again as I thought of you today. I love and miss you so much.
Well, Isabella, it's been 4 months since that day that I took you to the vet - only to find out that you were very sick and wouldn't live much longer. It seems like it's been years since I last saw you or scratched your tummy. I love and miss you so much, sweet girl. I think about you all the time. It's just so hard to accept that you're not here. I hope it is warm and sunny where you and Buttons are. I bought some meow mix a few days for the outdoor cats and was reminded how you loved that food! Terrible quality but you really loved it for some reason. I wish I could leave a few morsels on the floor again like I used to. You would snarf it right up! It's getting cooler and the days are shorter now. I wish you and Buttons were here with me. I need you guys so much now. I hope you are having fun running and playing in the grass today. I think of you and Buttons when I look up at the stars at night and I know you are there. I love and miss you, Isabella. Come visit from time to time if you can.
It's hard to believe that it's been 5 months since I last saw you. It's so hard, Isabella. I miss you more than you will ever know. Rosie is coming along - she tries really hard. I love and miss you so much, sweet girl. This time of the year is always the most difficult. It is cold and dreary outside. I wish so much that you could sit on my lap again and I could stroke your body. I wish I could rub your tummy like I used to. I just feel very weary right now. I wish I had your sweet face to look at each day. I'm not sure that I will ever get over losing you and Buttons. I know that you are near in spirit but I just wish we could all be together again in the physical. I'm so tired, Isabella. I'm tired of death and losing my precious friends that I ever had. It's hard to get out of bed each day anymore. I hope it is warm and sunny where you are and that you and Buttons are able to run and play in the grass. I love and miss you, Isabella.
Well, baby girl, it's been 6 months since you passed and went to the Rainbow Bridge. I miss you so much, sweet girl. I think about you everyday and my heart hurts that you're not here anymore. I miss seeing you sleep on the end of the bed and waking me up each day with a paw in my face. I miss so many things about you. Your unconditional love and sweet disposition. I will miss not being able to sit with you outside on the steps in the spring and summer. I will miss our little walks too. I wish I could stroke your sweet face one more time. I hope it is warm and sunny where you are and that you are able to lay in the sunshine each day. I love and miss you, Isabella, and I always will. Come visit from time to time if you can.
Some days, Isabella, it's just to hard to go on. I always knew that when you and Buttons passed that it would be the end of me. I just feel so empty without you guys around. All I can do is look at pictures and listen to music. It's just too much. I feel like I've lost too much the last few years. I loved you and Buttons so much. I wish there was some way that I could reach out my hand and pet you or scratch Buttons' head. She liked that so much. Please send me some positive energy and love if you can. I love and miss you both so much. I hope it is warm and sunny where you are. I love and miss you, sweet girl.
So hard to believe that it's been 7 months, sweet girl, since you passed. I think about you everyday. I still feel bad sometimes that I wasn't able to get Dr. Wilkins to come sooner and release you from your suffering. I guess that I will always feel bad that I could've done better for you. I miss seeing your sweet face each day and being woken up each morning with a paw in my face. I bought a book a few days ago. It's called, "P.S. I love you more than Tuna". It's such a sweet book and it reminds me so much of you and Buttons. I cry every time that I read it. I hope it is sunny and warm where you are as it is very cold here. I hope you and Buttons are having a good time. Please come visit, if you can. Look out after me and Rosie as we don't have anyone to help us much. I love and miss you, my sweet, precious Isabella.
Happy Birthday, sweet girl. I love and miss you, Isabella. It's hard to believe that you've been gone almost 8 months. I wish you could come back and make my heart whole again. Save me a place at the Rainbow Bridge.
Just thinking about you today, sweet girl. It's hard to believe that it's been 8 months since you passed. I love and miss you so, Isabella. I think of you often - especially when the sun shines in the morning thru the sliding glass door. How you loved to lay there in the sunshine! It's getting warmer outside so I often expect to see you laying under the blue chair like you used to. Rosie, my new cat, likes to lay there too. Thank you Isabella for loving me and being my friend. Have fun with Buttons today - hope it is bright and sunny where you guys are. I love you, sweet girl.
Hard to believe that you've been gone for 9 months, sweet girl. I think about you everyday. I still love and miss you so. It has been getting warm and the sun is shining brightly. I can't help but think about how you loved to lie in the sunshine each morning in front of the sliding glass door. I hope the sun is shining upon you where you are now and that you think of me occasionally. I miss your paw in my face each morning and you sleeping on my chest. How I miss those things! I hope you and Buttons are able to travel about the universe and go wherever you like. I look up at the stars at night and wonder which ones are you and Buttons. You both are probably the brightest stars in heaven. I love and miss you, Isabella. Please come visit if you can.
Just wanting to visit with you today, Isabella. I still love and miss you so much. It's been hard lately. The job with Ken just didn't work out and I had to finally let it go. I feel so disconnected much of the time. I think about you and Buttons every day. It's been getting warmer and the grass is green. I think of the day that I took pictures of you guys across the street. I just sometimes go out on the balcony and think of you and Buttons running through the grass and laying in the sun. My heart just aches for you both. Please help Rosie. She is shy much of the time and seems to prefer being alone. She needs help in learning how to socialize with people. She's a good cat most of the time. Maybe someday she will come to love me like the both of you did. Look out for me and Rosie, if you can. I'm somewhat adrift right now and not sure what to do going forward. I do feel more free and lighter since giving up my job with Ken. I love and miss you, Isabella. Until we meet again, sweet girl!
11 months today, sweet girl, since you passed. I doesn't get any easier. I still love and miss you so much. It just seems too much for me, Isabella. Not having you or Buttons anymore is just heartbreaking. Some days I think that I won't make it. I'd give anything if you could sit in my lap again and "make biscuits". It's just not the same without you two. I love and miss you, Isabella. Stay with me forever.
Well, sweet girl, I can't believe it's been a year since I saw your sweet face. Oh, Isabella, I love and miss you so much. Today leaves my heart very heavy and empty. Your passing has been so hard for me. I can't tell you how much you meant to me and how precious you were. You made my heart sing each day. I miss having a paw in my face each morning and you laying on my chest in bed. I'm glad that you're not sick anymore and suffering. I'm so sorry that I couldn't make you well and that I didn't have Dr. Wilkens come out to my apartment sooner. I'm sorry for any suffering that I caused you. I try to remember all the happy and fun times that we had together. I miss you sitting in my lap and "making biscuits". Gosh, Isabella, you were such a wonderful cat and friend. I know that I will never be able to replace you and Buttons. I miss sitting outside with you in the summer and our walks. On some days, the grief of losing both you and Buttons is so hard to bear. I often think that I will never really get over it. I never wanted to add your ashes and memorial to the table by my chair but I knew that one day that I would have to. I long for you, Isabella. I often look at the corner of the bed and expect to see you sleeping there. Or lying in front of the black out curtain in the early mornings when the sun would shine in. I love and miss you so, Isabella. Thanks so much for the feather today. It made my heart a little happier to know that you were thinking of me. I left a lily in front of your memorial today. I also left a couple of lilies on the floor where you passed away. I hope that you liked them. I know that you and Buttons are near but it's hard when I can't see and touch you anymore. I got another cat last summer. Her name is Rosie. She is sitting beside me on the counter as I type this. She seems to be getting along pretty good. If you and Buttons could help her out, I would appreciate it. Please look out for me and Rosie, Isabella. We don't have anyone to look out for us. Today has been really sad for me - but I am also filled with gratitude for all the years we had together. I hope you and Buttons are having a great time at the Rainbow Bridge. I hope there is lots of sunshine, grass, and trees for you to climb. Thank you, Isabella, for loving me and being my friend. I will always love and miss you, sweet girl. Rest in Peace - until we meet again, Isabella!
I love and miss you sweet girl. I'm going through a really tough, painful time right now. I feel so lost without you and Buttons around. Please help me, Isabella. Guide me in the right direction and give me some of your strength and love. I would give anything right now to have you and Buttons with me again. I'm tired and weary, Isabella. Maybe someday I will understand why you and Buttons had to pass away. I wish I could be where you are. I love and miss you, Isabella.
Summer has come and gone without you, sweet girl. I really missed sitting outside with you on the steps like we used to. And taking our walks around the building at night. I love and miss you so much, Isabella. It's so hard not having you and Buttons around. I often sat on the balcony at night this past summer and thought how much you and Buttons loved to run and play in the grass. I get so sad without you. I often look for you on the corner of my bed or sitting out on the patio in the sun. I hope you have a nice sunny spot at the Rainbow Bridge. I'm starting a new job tomorrow. I'm going back to Dollar Tree. I don't know how it will work out this time around. I'm trying not to have any expectations about it. I have been very sad and down the last month or so. I guess I am grieving the loss of so many things. Not having you and Buttons here is so painful and so hard for me. My heart is so heavy most days. I can't believe you've been gone for 14 months. I love and miss you so much, Isabella. Come visit when you can and keep an eye out for me. I need all the help that I can get in the next few months.
It's hard to believe that you've been gone 16 months, sweet girl. I love and miss you so much, Isabella. This is the first year that I've not had you or Buttons with me. It is so very hard. I think of you often and look at your picture. It is cold outside and windy. I hope you have a sunny spot to lay in each morning like you used to do inside the curtains here. I miss not having a paw in my face each morning and you not laying on top of me in bed anymore. I've been going down to the park at night and talking to both you and Buttons. I know you are listening and it makes me feel a little better. I look up at the stars and I know you and Buttons are up there watching over me. I still get very sad and depressed, Isabella. Not having you and Buttons here anymore breaks my heart most days. I try and remember all the love that you both gave me and helps me to go on a little bit more. I love and miss you, Isabella. My precious girl.
Well Isabella, another year without you and Buttons. I am so very sad most of the time anymore. I miss you so much, precious girl. What I wouldn't give to have you paw me in the face in the morning one more time! Or sleep on my chest! I'm not too hopeful about the future anymore. Getting old, I guess. I hope it is warm and sunny where you and Buttons are. I think of you every day. I love and miss you, Isabella.
Just wanted to say that I love and miss you very much, Isabella. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I wish so much that you could sit on my lap and "make biscuits" like you used to. Each day is becoming more difficult and painful for me. Not having you and Buttons here anymore has shattered my soul - whatever was left of it. I don't have much enthusiasm or hope about the future anymore. Help me out, Isabella, if you can. Look out for me and Rosie and help us thru each day. I love and miss you, sweet girl.
Spring is here, Isabella. You would like to lay between the black out curtain and the sliding glass door right now. The sun is bright each morning and I know how much you loved to lay in the sun. I love and miss you so much, Isabella. Life is hard right now. I feel so weighed down by everything and there's not much that I enjoy. I wonder how I'm going to make it without you and Buttons. It is so hard. Help me and Rosie out from time to time, if you can, Isabella. I love and miss you so.