You are my baby... No matter how hard losing you has been...I wouldn't trade the world for the time we have had together. You were with me through law school, marriage, divorce, dating (wish I had listened to you on a few of those choices), 9 years with Chuck, leaving Chuck, losing your sisters Cali & Co, visiting Grandma at the hospital, and every other major emotional crisis in my life. So it seems off to call you my baby...because I learned so much from you about life and unconditional love. For 16 1/2 years, you showed me unconditional love. I truly believe it was our bond that kept you with me for so long. You just never gave up...you survived cancer, heart disease, arthritis, seizures...even the never ending cuddles which you hated...but eventually your body just wore out.

But I'm not the only one missing you...Chuck misses you dearly. You were 5 when I started dating Chuck. It was no secret...dating me also meant loving you. It was a package deal. You kept us from breaking up once but ultimately it was because of you a friendship survived and has become the best part of the relationship. You loved him and he loves you. But I will let him tell his own stories.

I miss you all the time...the house is so empty. Not to mention the King size bed you managed to take up half of. Knowing that we will be together again...keeps me going. My life was blessed because of you...any peace I have is knowing there was nothing more I could do to keep you with me physically. The paw prints on my heart will never fade. Keep playing...have a little "pay back" with your sisters and give them a good chase...don't forget to send me love every now and then.

The days continue to go by and I keep waiting for this to somehow get easier. I keep a candle in your window which turns on each night at the same time. Needless to say...the only comfort I find is surrounding myself with pictures and memories of you. I mentioned all of the things you shared with me but failed to mention all of the happy times. I walked through Walmart are saw a been of big play balls...couldn't help but think of you running and playing. We shared so many special moments and you touched the heart of many. Sending you my love...

You may be gone...but I feel your love daily. I believe you (maybe with the help of your sisters) sent me a wonderful gift. Not long after my last post...my path crossed 3 homeless kittens. I was having so much trouble being in the house without you...and struggled with going home each night. There was something about these 3...I struggled with the decision for a week. After being asked...if I really thought I could live without a furbaby in my life and the unconditional love that comes with it...well I decided it was meant to be. Of course...I couldn't just take one, or leave one behind...so all 3 of them came home. Many people think I have lost my mind or that these kittens won the lottery. They will never replace the love I have for you...but knowing you sent them to comfort me ... gives me tremendous comfort. Miss you so much.... (9/1/11)

Happy Birthday ... sweetie. Mommy loves and misses you. Its hard to believe you would have been 17 years old today. Your body may have been that of an old man...but your spirit was never even close. I wish I could find a way to send you some taco gringo....it wasn't good for either of us...but you would lick right through the styrofoam to get the very last bit. Then of course it would be a "greenie" night at bed...which the bag is still right on the headboard. I try to stay strong...remember all the good times...and I know you would want me to celebrate your life not your passing. I just miss you so much...I want nothing more than to come home and see you in the window. Sending you all hugs and kisses...thinking of you always.

Its hard to believe this year is almost over. It goes without saying how much I still miss you. That will never pass. I had a Christmas stocking made in memory of you, Cali & Co. I want you all to know that all of you still are in my heart and how much I love all of you. I received my new American Eskimo calendar this week. It just doesn't feel right not having it. I still haven't brought myself to go through your toys or even move your bed. It is still right next to mine. Albus, Rowena, Luna & Dobby are keeping me busy. I am not sure what I was thinking adopting 4 kittens at the same time. Maybe I am imagining it because I want to believe it...but Albus sure seems to have some of your personality traits. I keep a candle light every night in your window...amazingly enough it is the one thing the kittens leave completely alone. At least this winter, I know you will be playing in the snow without restraints that old age brought you in the last few years. Lots of love... Mom (12/12/11)

I am so sorry it has been so long since I have visited your site. I think of you daily and send you my love nightly. I tell stories to the 4 about you, Cali & Co. Spring has been especially hard watching all of the people out walking their dogs. I am even trying to train Dobby to walk on a leash. He has quickly gained more weight than he should have so I am trying to find ways to get him a little extra exercise. It is definitely going to be an interesting process. I hope you are running and rolling in the grass with the sun shining down. Miss you and love you always... (4/15/12)

I can't believe it has been a year. I have been thinking what I wanted to say all day....but I think this poem says it all (modified just a bit). I love you sweetie and I know we will be together again some day. (6/12/12)

Gone but not forgotten,
passed on but still alive through us,
you left this world so suddenly
and left the ones that love you still
so completely lost and alone.

You left an empty space with your leaving
filled only with pain and sadness
and a touch of anger too,
it feels so unfair that you were taken
and that we were separated so soon.

Your still missed everyday
more then words can say,
if tears could build a path
then we'd be together once again.

A year today that you've been gone
and it's so hard to keep going on,
I wish that we'd had just one more day
but then one day more would've never be enough.

The hollow, empty space within my heart
is full of such pain today,
I'd give anything to go back in time
and change that one fateful day
and have you with me once more.

The only comfort that I can find
is knowing that your still with me,
your the guardian angel that looks out for me
and I know that your in a better place
but that doesn't mean that I don't still miss you.

I see your face when I'm alone
and hear your bark all of a sudden,
I'm doing my best to be strong and go on
the way I know you'd want me to
but it's so hard without you here.

Rest in peace today and always,
know that your still loved
more then words can say
and missed so much everyday,
you'll always live on in our hearts.

The holiday season is here and I still miss you more than ever. I see all the greenies in holiday packaging and know how excited you get. I hope there is an endless supply at the bridge. There has been no snow yet this year. I still tell people about taking the snow blower around the block to make sure you could go on your walk. I will be honest...I do not miss the walks in the cold or the rain. I have gotten lazy without you here. I gave up trying to get Dobby to walk on a leash. But I have had to chase him and Albus more than once. Talking with Dr. Ward for the kitties annual check-up...she thinks there is a chance that the kitties may be more spoiled than you. I treasure them and know that they were a gift from you, Cali and Co. They may have helped heal my heart and I love them dearly...but nothing will ever replace you in my heart. I know I write less and less...but please don't mistake that for not thinking about you. Your memory is all around me and I embrace keeping those memories alive while continuing to make new ones. I know I said it last time...but I am convinced that your spirit lives on in Albus. He watches over me just like you always did. He goes to bed at the same time I do but just wants to be where he can see me just out of that cuddle range. He also gives me that look if when anyone else is taking my attention. My sweet baby boy....play, run, and bounce a few balls around (then continue to play even after you pop them and they are flat). Hugs & Kisses...love always. (12/18/12)

As you two year anniversary is approaching...I seem to miss you even more. I continue to think about you daily...you were such a wonderful friend and companion. It is so hard to believe you have been physically gone this long. But you have never left my heart. I am putting a set of windchimes up on the porch...please use the wind to send me kisses...I will know when I hear the chimes. miss you baby... (6/8/13)

Nothing can take away the love and memories. You will always be with me. I promise never to waste the gift of unconditional love that you gave me and will continue to share it with my furbabies. XOXOXO (6/12/13)

I am so sorry I haven't been on to write to you or Cali and Co. Sadly I even let it expire for a year. The fact is whether I have this site to go to or not, I think of all three of you every day. There is a part me that thinks I see a little of each you...Albus is protective and hates to share me, Luna looks so much like Co that it is scary...she also will walk up to you at night and rub you but only on her terms, Dobby is pretty much one of a kind...but he is the most laid back a lot like Cali. I think Rowena has a little of all of you. I still have a candle in the bay window in memory of all three of you. Of course countless pictures remain up. A dear friend recently lost her baby...his name is Remmington..you can probably spot him easily he is the big guy playing with the squirrels. I love you and can't believe you have been gone 4 years. I miss you so much...and would give just about anything to go on a walk with you. Please tell Cali and Co how much I miss and love them too. I still feel so guilty that I didn't understand or give them the same love attention you got or the current kitties have. I just understand cats...but I loved them and wish I could share all learned with them. I hope they have an endless supply of catnip and you have all the bouncy balls you want. Please check in on Grandma..make sure she isn't getting in too much trouble. I love you all.... XOXOXO (6/12/15)

It's been a long 6 years....none of my furbabies - past or present - are never far from my heart. Life, especially work has been very stressful this last year. I can't believe how out of shape I am .... your walks every day did more for my health than I ever realized. No matter how I try, Dobby refuses to walk on his leash. Dobby gave me a scare...he had a blocked urethra. Trips to the emergency clinic and had to stay with Dr. Ward a few days. My mom moved to Springfield a couple of years ago...she adopted a new furbaby "Sweetie". Talking today...I reminisced about you and the big ball. I miss you guys so much. I look at Luna and see Co... I think about Cali and wanting to go outside....I try to make sure the kitties get outdoor time and plenty of stimulation so that they never want to take off. Hugs and kisses....love and miss all of you. I know there will be a time when we are all together again - until then...play, run and take care of grandma. XOXOXO (5/29/17)
Wow..I cant believe it has been 8 years. I think about all of you daily. JD...you are still Momma's boy. Each of you taught me different lessons in life ...I hope you know how much I miss you guys. Lots of cuddles...there is no escaping them even at Rainbow bridge. 6/12/19