Lexi's favorite part of the house was the downstairs. It was her area. She jumped off the table and headed downstairs. I fixed her a plate of food and followed her down. She didn't eat much which didn't surprise me. She usually ate around 9 pm but I often fixed her a plate when I came home just in case she was hungry.

I went back upstairs to make a grocery list and get ready to go to the grocery store. I heard Lexi make a loud sound that wasn't a normal kitty sound. I went downstairs and found her unable to move her back legs and seemingly in a lot of pain. I recognized the symptoms of saddle thrombus. I told my wife what was happening and that I was taking Lexi to the veterinarian. My wife helped me put Lexi into the carrier. Lexi was my first kitty and I tried to learn as much as I could about cat health so as to try and give Lexi good care.

The veterinarian gave Lexi pain medication and confirmed my suspicions. They contacted several emergency clinics that had more resources than them and sent us on our way to one. I checked Lexi into an emergency animal care clinic and waited. They said they would evaluate Lexi and treat her through the night and let us know in the morning what the prognosis would be. I left the clinic and headed home around 9:30 pm.

At 7:30 am the next morning the doctor from the clinic called. Other than Lexi still being alive none of the news was good. The doctor said Lexi's back legs were still cold and she couldn't move them, her blood work indicated her kidneys were failing, she was in heart failure, her liver appeared to be damaged, the doctor suspected blood clots went to Lexi's liver, fluid was gathering in her chest, and her back legs had started to stiffen. The doctor said her back legs stiffening indicated the leg muscles were starting to die. I asked the doctor when I could see Lexi and she said as soon as we could get there. I gave my wife the news and said I was going in to see Lexi and asked her if she wanted to come along. Both my wife and stepson said they wanted to go with me to visit Lexi.

When we arrived at the emergency clinic they ushered us into a room. A few minutes later they rolled Lexi in. She was on a table covered with plush blankets and had a machine connected to her that was administering medicine. As soon as they opened the door to the room and Lexi saw us she immediately recognized us and gave us her signature "rair RAIR" greeting. Later on after Lexi passed my wife told me she only gave this greeting when she seen me. It must have been her special greeting for me or the "name" she called me; I heard it many times but my wife said she heard Lexi make it only when I was around. We knew Lexi was overjoyed to see us as we were her. We spent some time with her and eventually the doctor came in. We all noticed that Lexi's left eye looked more dilated than her right. The doctor said since 7:30 when I talked to her on the phone nothing had improved with Lexi and additionally they thought she had a stroke which caused her left eye to dilate. The doctor also said Lexi's front legs were starting to cool down and she thought this was from her blood flow slowing down.

I asked the doctor if she had any chance of recovery. The doctor basically said no. She said Lexi was in heart failure and the fluid was continuing to gather in her chest. The doctor said the medicine they use to help the heart usually causes liver damage and the medicine they use to treat the liver can damage the heart. She said if somehow Lexi overcame her heart, liver, and kidney issues they would have to amputate her back legs as the muscles were already dying from lack of blood. I couldn't image amputating Lexi's back legs. She was such a good jumper. She could jump to great heights and land without making a sound. I said it sounds like we should let Lexi go. The doctor said that would be in Lexi's best interest. I asked about taking Lexi home to pass away in familiar surroundings. The doctor said we wouldn't be able to manage Lexi's pain.

Lexi always loved to watch leaves blow around during autumn. While we visited with Lexi she initially was able to prop herself up, then as she became tired she was able to only hold her head up and eventually she couldn't even hold her head up. My wife propped her pillow up so she could look out the window. It was a blustery sunny day and the wind was blowing the leaves around. Lexi watched the leaves intently. During this time of year Lexi could spend hours sitting in the window watching leaves blow. I would pile leaves up on the deck and Lexi would sit at the screen door and watch until the wind blew them all off from the deck then I would put more on the deck and Lexi would watch them blow off.

We spent a little over an hour with Lexi. After further discussions with the doctor we decided to help Lexi cross the Rainbow Bridge and release her from the body that had served her well but was now failing her. Lexi's mind seemed to be clear as far as we could tell but her body was dying. Lexi and I always took a nap on Sunday afternoons. I told Lexi it was time for us to take our nap. We all told Lexi we loved her and of this I'm sure she knew as far as a kitty can understand love. We were gathered around Lexi as she went to sleep for the last time. She went very peacefully. I thought about holding Lexi as she went to sleep but Lexi never really liked to be picked up and held so I let her stay where she was resting. I'm sure she didn't want to go being so young and she loved her family so much. We thought we had so many more years with her. But it seemed the only choice with how devastatingly her illness had attacked her was to let her go. We had all been crying on and off during our visit with Lexi and now we were all crying together. I was 57 when we adopted Lexi and Simon. Lexi and Simon were the first kitties in our family. My wife and stepson had a kitty before I knew them but Lexi and Simon were the first kitties I had ever had. Lexi seemed to gravitate towards me, or at least that is how it appeared to me. Where ever in the house I was Lexi was usually there. Our other kitty Simon is my wife's kitty and spends most if his time with my wife and stepson. We showered Lexi with love and attention her whole life; from the days when she took her first wobbly steps as a kitten through her last moments. Lexi wasn't born in our house but her kitty mother brought her in before her eyes opened. Lexi's mother was an abandoned kitty we had been looking after.

After Lexi passed we took her home thinking Simon should see her in an effort to get him to understand that she is gone. We placed Lexi on the carpet on one end of the living room. Simon stayed at the other end of the living room and would not come near her. We gave him a little time but he seemed to be afraid. I'm sure he could tell something was wrong. Lexi was so still lying on the carpet and maybe he could smell her and tell she didn't smell right after being at the hospital. After a half hour or so we called a pet cremation business and they said we could bring Lexi in right away. We took Lexi in and had her cremated. Lexi's ashes are with us in an urn with kitty symbols on it and will be buried with me, her dad.

I've never had to make the decision to end a fur baby's life before this happened to Lexi. The last fur child we had passed away 15 years ago of natural causes. All of our prior fur children passed away at home by natural causes also. My father passed away at the age of 83. My brother and I were the ones who gave the doctors the permission to remove our mother from life support when she was declared brain dead after being revived from cardiac arrest; she was 95. When I was 14 my father had a stroke and 4 months later our house was gutted by a fire. Those were difficult times in my life and when our parents passed they were somewhat expected due to their ages. Having this happen to Lexi at such a young age and having to send her on her way across the Rainbow Bridge is the saddest experience and most difficult decision I have ever had to make; she was in the prime of her life. An innocent kitty who never hurt anyone. I expected us to have at least another 10 years together. I used to tell her "Lexi, when I retire we can be together all day and take a nap together every day". Now that is gone. The doctor said Lexi most likely had heart disease/HCM most of her life and it was just undetected. I've since read many articles on heart disease in cats and hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.

Lexi came to us through one of two abandoned kitties we were looking after. In January 2018 two kitties showed up at our house; a brown one with a black kitten. I would learn from a neighbor the brown kitty had been left behind by a family who had been evicted from a house in our neighborhood and the black kitty was one of her kittens they had seen her with. They told me they had seen the brown kitty with 3 kittens at one time; one disappeared, one made its way to their doorstep and they took it to an animal rescue and the black one stayed with its mother. I thought these two kitties were staying under our deck. The deck is very low only about a foot or so off the ground. I would find out in the spring there was a hole in the siding and they were staying in a crawl space under what used to be a porch but is now part of the living room. In the crawl space they were out of the elements and relatively warm compared to outside. We didn't see much of them during the rest of the winter, only when they showed up to eat. We never had cats before but we bought them cat food.

During the summer of 2018 we started letting these 2 kitties into the house. I would let them in while I was getting ready for work. They would sleep in the house during the day and want to go out at night. Around 10 pm they would be sitting at the door ready to go out and so they would spend nights outdoors. This went on for around a month when one morning as I opened the door for black kitty she came in with a black kitten in her mouth. Astonished I held the door open as she brought the kitten downstairs. I figured there must be more so I held the door as she went out, around the corner of the house and a few minutes later returned with another black kitten. I waited but she didn't come back up. I guessed that she had only two or if there were any others they didn't survive. Both brown kitty and black kitty would continue to spend days indoors and nights outdoors. The two kittens black kitty brought in still had their eyes closed. A few weeks later brown kitty brought 4 kittens into the house while I was at work. My wife called to let me know that brown kitty had brought in 4 kittens. Brown kitty's kittens had their eyes open but it seemed both sets of kittens were very close in age as by now black kitty's kittens now had their eyes open. My wife and I had noticed both kitties tummies were sagging and thought they would both have kittens. It didn't occur to me they would want to bring them in the house. We agreed the kittens could grow up in the house and when the time was right we would try to find them homes.

We bought litter boxes and wet food designed for kittens. We tried to give them the best nutrition we could and bought dry kitten food that was small and was easy for them to eat. We setup a carrier for brown kitty's kittens to retreat to and black kitty's kittens special place was under the dresser she had originally brought them to. Black kitty's kittens were on one end of the basement and brown kitty's kittens were on the other end of the basement. We had many rugs and towels on the floor for the kittens to play and sleep on including a cat tree they could climb.

The kittens thrived and grew. They all ran, played, ate, and slept together. These were the first kittens we had ever taken care of and watching them grow and their antics was great. We petted them, held them, and interacted with them to try and socialize them. It was a very pleasurable time in our lives. They brought so much life to the house. I thought I would have to make a ramp for them to come up the stairs from downstairs but when they were confident enough they bound up and down the stairs like nothing. They all became masters of running up and down stairs. I read as much as I could about cats and raising kittens.

When fall arrived we decided it was time for the kittens to move on to new homes. We contacted a non-kill rescue who agreed to take them. We had two carriers and one morning I gathered them up and divided them between the two carriers. I brought them to the rescue not realizing how attached I had become to them. I started crying at the thought of leaving them but knew we couldn't keep 6 kittens. When I arrived home my wife was sitting at the kitchen table upset. She said she wanted to adopt the kitten with the brown swirls in his fur. I said maybe we should adopt two so he would have another kitty to relate to. The black kitten with the white feet came to mind. Although all the kittens played together sometimes she would stand off to the side by herself and just watch. This kitten would become our Lexi. I called the rescue and told them we wanted to adopt the one with the brown swirls and the black one with white feet. I thought of several names and liked Lexi. My wife and stepson chose the name Simon for the one with the brown swirls. After work I went and picked them up and they thus became members of our family. I would later learn Lexi was considered a Tuxedo.

Lexi's life was uneventful. As kittens I played with Lexi and Simon every night after dinner. My wife told me when late afternoon came every day they would sit by the door waiting for me to get home. We played for hours every night from September when they joined our family until January when they would have spay and neuter surgeries. We bought many toys for them and we tried to keep them engaged and active. We played a game we called "Black bug" where I would move the handle end of the feather toy wand around under a pillow. We had two of them and I would move both of them around under separate pillows and Lexi and Simon would reach under the pillows trying to catch the "black bug". We had a toy mouse on a string that I would pull around the living and room and they would try to catch "brown mouse". For a short time when she was a kitten Lexi loved to bat Cheerio cereal bits around the kitchen floor. Lexi's favorite toys turned out to be the twist ties from bread loaf wrappers and un-waxed dental floss. She would jump into the air to catch the twist ties and then chew on them. We spent many hours playing with twist ties. I would pull off a two or three foot length of dental floss and pull it along the floor. She loved to chase it and chew on it. I always monitored her carefully to make sure she didn't swallow any. She would lay on her back and I would dangle dental floss for her to grab at.

At 6 months of age we had Lexi spayed and Simon neutered. We thought it would be good if they had their cones on at the same time. The cones made it difficult for them to eat so I would take them off while they ate. Of course before I could get them back on they would lick their incisions and they both became infected. We cleared that up with medicine from the vet. It took Lexi a little longer to recover but they both made it through without any major complications.

Lexi's favorite area of the house was the downstairs. She spent a good amount of time in the other rooms of the house but the downstairs was her favorite. Sometimes she would go downstairs and call to me. If I didn't come down soon enough she would come up and encourage me to come down with her. Most of the time I would go downstairs with her to make her happy. On Sunday afternoons we would take a nap under the covers of the bed. It is the only time she wanted to be under the covers. She had a favorite chair that she normally slept in during the night and for daytime naps she could be by the window in her special cat bed, on the floor if the sun was shining in, or during the winter months next to the heat register.

As I said one of the reasons for adopting Lexi was so Simon would have one of his own kind to relate to. This just seems to make sense to me although I understand many kitties are better off being an only kitty. Knowing Lexi's personality I think Lexi would have been happy as an only kitty. Simon has had some health issues and has had to stay overnight at the vet several times. When Simon was staying at the vet Lexi seemed to be happier. I have wondered if we should have let Lexi go to another home where she may have had the chance to be an only kitty and should I have been more observant when they were kittens to see if there was one who was closer to Simon. But that is water under the bridge now. Lexi never did become close to Simon. She was independent. I don't remember Lexi ever seeking Simon out. On the other hand Simon would often seek Lexi. Although Simon spends a fair amount of time in my stepson's room, most of the time he would want to be where Lexi was. When they were kittens Simon would sleep next to Lexi but as they matured this stopped.

Lexi would often sit by the screen door looking out. I would open the door just enough for her to stick her head out. I would hold her with one hand and the door with the other. She seemed to enjoy looking around and smelling the air. In one respect we were quite lucky. Neither of our kitties ever tried to run out the door. We tried to expand Lexi's world by taking her outside. My wife once picked her up and walked out the front door around the house and back in through the rear door. Lexi clung to my wife and was afraid the whole time. I bought a harness and leash and tried to get Lexi accustomed to it. We went out the front door one time. She made it about 3 feet when something spooked her and she ran back inside. We bought a popup screened enclosure to see if the kitties would like to view the world from there. I took Lexi out to it one time but she just walked around meowing her "I'm scared" meow and I soon took her back inside. It seems it was enough for Lexi to sit behind the safety of a screened window or door and view the world from there.

My wife is from Ukraine. She eastern Europeanized Lexi's name and called her "LexSonia". She calls Simon "SiMooshka". Lexi didn't like being picked up. She loved petting, chin scratches, and kisses. She wouldn't squirm or struggle to get away when picked up. She would make a low humming sound that was her sound of displeasure. I picked her up only maybe 3 or 4 times during her life and when I understood she didn't like being picked up I never picked her up again. If I wanted her to move I just had to call her name and she would come to me. My wife would pick her up occasionally and talk to her. Lexi ran up and down the stairs to the downstairs area many times during her life. She would run up and down the stairs multiple times a day. She would often be meowing while she ran up and down the stairs and it sounded so funny. I'll never forget it. It kind of sounded like when you talk into a fan. Lexi had gorgeous green eyes and beautiful shimmering fur. She was meticulous about keeping her fur groomed. When we took our afternoon naps sometimes she would spend 20 minutes grooming her fur to before settling down to take her nap.

Lexi seemed to be "right" pawed. If I pulled away from giving her attention before she had enough she would reach out with her right paw for more. When we were taking our Sunday afternoon naps before settling down she would occasionally reach to gently touch my face with her right paw.

Even though Lexi was an indoor kitty she had the opportunity to use her cat skills. Twice during her life during the winter months she caught mice downstairs. The last time was the last winter she was with us (2021-2022) when one night I heard her growling. I thought maybe Simon was annoying her so I got up. She was walking around with a mouse in her mouth. I praised her and told her what a good girl she was for catching "brown mouse". I went back to bed letting her keep her catch. When I got up in the morning she had left her prize next to the bed. I praised her again and disposed of it. Lexi the great mouse hunter.

Lexi brought so much joy into my life I could never put into words how much joy she brought to me. I could just sit and look at her and be completely happy; maybe because my heart was so full of love for her. She was so loyal to me and seemed to love me also. I miss Lexi so much. Her greeting me at the door when I returned from work and the time we would then spend together, her head butting, my petting her soft silky fur, her "Lexi kisses" she would give me, her beautiful green eyes, brushing her to make a "pretty girl even more pretty", and talking to each other. Her "rair RAIR" call when she wanted attention; when I came home from work and at bedtime were her attention times. Our Sunday afternoon naps. The different vocalizations she would make. Just her presence. I told her several times "Lexi you can't get sick, we have many years ahead of us". I see her everywhere, on the back of the chair, on the arm of the loveseat, on the cat tree by the window, in her bed by the window, in her favorite chair downstairs, on her special rug downstairs. It was always at the back of my mind that something could happen to cut her life or Simon's life short but you don't dwell on it or really expect it to happen. One time when Simon was at the vet he caught a respiratory infection. I didn't think he was going to make it but he pulled through. Of course Lexi caught it also but it didn't seem to affect her as badly and she recovered quickly. I had read about saddle thrombus but you don't think it will happen to your kitty.

After Lexi passed my brother asked if we would adopt another kitty. I immediately said no; I was so heartbroken. Simon took it very hard when Lexi passed. He moped around the house for several days. He was very dejected. Simon has never been an only kitty. He was raised with 5 other kittens and since then Lexi has always been here with him. As of writing this memorial it's been 3 weeks since Lexi passed. Simon appears to be adjusting but I can tell he is still sad. Mornings are the worst for him. Lexi would always take a nap after breakfast and Simon was always nearby. All of us have spent additional time with Simon. He is playing again but will still stop while playing and look around. I'm sure he's still expecting Lexi to come into the room. When he's at the top of the staircase he'll look down and wait to see if Lexi is coming up. When he's eating he'll stop and look around as if expecting Lexi to come into the room.

I don't know if it would be better for Simon to have another kitty in the house to relate to or if he will adjust to being an only kitty now. I miss Lexi terribly and would never think of "replacing her". But she is gone now and I can't bring her back. I'm now thinking maybe we should adopt another kitty for Simon's sake and to give a kitty a home since we are capable of providing one. Even though Simon may think of us as cats we can't really relate to him on a kitty level and we are not Lexi. I've discussed this with my wife and have read about cat grief and introducing a new cat into the house. We've made the decision that for now we are going to let Simon adjust to the new normal and a new routine he will setup for himself. One of the changes he has made is now after breakfast instead of napping under the bed downstairs while Lexi napped on top of the bed he takes his morning nap downstairs on a ledge where he and Lexi used to sit and look out the window.

Only God knows how long Lexi had heart disease/HCM; it must take a while for the wall of the heart muscle to thicken, I'm sure it doesn't happen overnight. It was not detected and from what I've read even if it was she was not destined to live a long life. Maybe we were lucky to be with her for the time we were. But that doesn't make it any easier to lose her. It still wasn't long enough and I miss her so much. She knows she was deeply loved and forever will be.

I've packed most of Lexi's things away in a small tub. Her special water dish, her toothbrush, some of the twist ties she played with and a roll of dental floss she loved to play with, some clippings of fur, the cone she wore when she had her spay surgery, a couple of sympathy cards we received, her brush, and some leaves we collected on her last day. I'll leave her rug out downstairs where her personal space was along with the yellow ball toy only she played with.

I know there are many furbabies on this site and many who are not memorialized on this site who didn't have as long a life as Lexi. My Smokey is one of them. Many who didn't have the safe loving home Lexi had. But that doesn't ease my sorrow at losing Lexi.

The following lines are from Lexi's perspective sung to the song "We'll Sing in the Sunshine" by Gale Garnett:

You know I love you dearly,
And you call me Lexi pooh,
And though I cannot stay long,
I can stay four years with you.

And we can play in the sunshine,
We'll laugh every day,
We'll play in the sunshine,
Then I'll be on my way.

And when four years have ended,
And I have gone away,
You'll often speak about me,
And this is what you'll say:

We played in the sunshine,
She made us laugh every day,
We played in the sunshine,
Then she went on her way.

I know this is a long memorial but I wanted to include what we thought would be the highlights of Lexi's life. She means so much to us and forever will. Thank you for taking the time to read Lexi's memorial.

I love you Lexi and expect to be with you in eternity. Dad

December 25, 2022. Merry Christmas Lexi! How's our prettiest girl? Do you miss us? We miss you so much. I hope you are having a wonderful time. After having only 4 Christmas's with you now we are having our first Christmas without you. I know you didn't want to leave us and we didn't want you to leave but there wasn't any way to make you better. I'm sure you understand that now. Our life and the house are so different with you being gone. I miss you so much. When Simon and I are downstairs he will often stop whatever he is doing and look up the stairs. I'm sure he is waiting for you to come down. I talk to him every day about you. He leaves your special places alone but since you have been gone he has been sitting by the window downstairs where you and he used to sit in the early mornings. About 2 weeks ago he stopped taking his morning nap there by the downstairs window though. Now after eating breakfast he comes upstairs and looks out the living room window and takes his morning naps there on the cat tree. I don't know if he is moving on with his life now or that it is too cold by the downstairs window now that it is winter.

I put up the Christmas tree a couple of weeks ago. Lena and Aaron decorated it. They hung yours and Simon's Christmas decorations on it. I saw an ad for decorations that they can create from your photo that looks just like you. I was thinking maybe I'll get one of those made for you and for Simon for next Christmas. I had a pendant made this way that's on a necklace that I will start wearing after Christmas. I had it made from one of your photos. It looks just like you and I gave it to myself for Christmas.

I packed most of your things in a small tub. I left out your blue rug and yellow ball toy downstairs in your personal place. I moved your bed from the living room window to my bed and have it next to my pillow; it may sound silly but it's a comfort to me. In the spring I'll probably take up your blue rug and toy in case it rains heavy and we get water in the basement; remember how that happens sometimes and I have to wash your rug.

I had planned on getting you a new water fountain for Christmas for upstairs and one for downstairs you could have by your personal space. I was also going to get you a new litter box and scratching post to put near your personal space. I'll probably still get a new fountain for upstairs for Simon to use. He doesn't use it as much as you but I think he still likes to drink from it sometimes. You always loved drinking from the fountain. Remember how you would get a drink from the fountain then walk behind the sofa and then jump up to your bed by the window to take a nap? I'll probably pack away the old fountain in memory of you and knowing it was the fountain you drank from so often.

I don't know if you can see or hear across the divide that separates us, but if you can you know I talk to you often. I miss you so much pretty girl.

About 3 weeks after you had gone I had a dream that I was standing at the end of the sidewalk and you came running down the street to me. I have dreamt several times since then about you. A few nights ago I dreamt that you were back in the house and things were back to normal; we were downstairs just like we used to be and I was so glad you were back.

I setup a photo of you in the living room near your sleeping space by the window. I put an electric candle near the photo and turn it on during the night. Remember when you and Simon were kittens and Lena didn't want you two spending so much time downstairs? I slept in the living room with you and Simon for almost a year before Lena changed her mind about you and Simon going downstairs. Well Friday night I fell asleep on the sofa and Simon was sleeping on the cat tree and we didn't go downstairs to bed until 1:30 am. It reminded me of when you and Simon and I slept in living room that year when you and Simon were kittens.

I hung a group of photos of you on the living room wall. I'm going to hang some more in the bedroom as soon as I get them printed. I had a calendar made for 2023 that has photos of you for each month.

A few weeks after you left I bought a couple of new scratching posts. One is in the living room and the other one is downstairs. They are really tall; 41 inches I believe. Simon can stretch to his full length now when scratching. I still have the little scratching post in the living room; the one both you and Simon used. He still uses it. I wish I had purchased these tall ones when you were still here. I think you would have liked being able to stretch really tall when using the post. I was going to try and make some myself out of fence posts but all the fence posts were square and I wanted round ones. I thought about stopping at a lumber mill to see if I could just get some small trees to make them out of but all the lumber mills are pretty far north and after a while I gave up on that idea. I just wish you were still here to use them.

I was thinking about maybe adopting another kitty as I was missing you so much and there are so many needing homes. I stopped and looked at a few. I've read many articles and talked to several people about how to introduce a kitty into a home that already has a cat. All the articles I read and everyone I talked to said you have to keep the kitties separated and slowing introduce them over a period of weeks. I tried to talk to Lena about this and she got mad. So I let it go. I guess we won't be adopting another kitty and Simon will have to be an only kitty now. He seems to have adjusted but what else can he do but make the best of the situation. You know Lexi I really thought you would outlast Simon. I certainly didn't think you would leave us so young. I hoped that when you passed away it would be from old age in your sleep either at the window or in your favorite chair.

Well pretty girl I guess I'll let you go for now. We opened our Christmas gifts today and I am wearing the pendant I had made from your photo. It was so wonderful being with you for the 4 years 3 months we had together and I am thankful for it but I miss you very much. I'll always miss you Lexi and I'll think about you every day. Maybe you are aware of that; I don't know. But I will be so happy to see you again someday. I hope you will be happy to see me again. It might be many long agonizing years for me but where you are I don't think time exists so hopefully for you it will not be a difficult wait. Have fun pretty girl and know that I talk to you often. Sending you all my love, Dad.

March 21, 2023, Hello Lexi! How's our pretty girl? We miss you so much honey. Today I made your memorial perpetual. We think about you every day. I hung another group of photos on the living room wall last weekend. All the photos in this group are of you and Simon together. You know Lexi all the photos I have of you and Simon together when you were kittens is when you were sleeping. I don't have any of the two of you together when you were awake. I guess I never thought of taking any then of the two of you together; we were too busy playing I suppose. I guess I could have taken some of you together when you were eating but I didn't think of it; in hind sight I guess I should have.

It's been a long winter Lexi. We still have a lot of snow and more coming. Outside kitties are all well. We've kept the garage warm and it seems to serve them well. I play with them in the garage. Your grandmother, brown kitty really likes to play a lot. I play the black bug game with her. Gray kitty now comes to me for petting, he seems to like being petted now but I still cannot approach him, I have to wait for him to come to me, but its progress. Your mother, black kitty runs to me when she sees me and that makes me happy. She rubs against me but I still don't try to pet her and probably never will but that is OK. I've always liked your mother black kitty ever since she showed up. I just wish I could pet her but that is not her way.

After you left for the Rainbow Bridge Simon stopped taking his morning naps downstairs. He was coming upstairs for morning naps. It didn't take long for him to resume his morning naps downstairs though. He takes his naps on top of the bin by the window where you and he used to sit and look out. He usually starts his night sleeping there also but usually ends up sleeping in your chair. He hasn't slept in his own chair for quite a while and also doesn't go under the bed anymore. He used to love laying under the bed but since his return home from his hospital stay in January he doesn't go there anymore.

Well honey I just wanted to let you know about making your memorial perpetual. You know I talk to you all the time and you are never far from my thoughts. Sending you all my love Lexi, Dad.

April 9, 2023. Happy Easter Lexi! We miss you so much and wish you were still with us. Have an extra special great day today celebrating in heaven. Dad, Mom, Aaron, and Simon.

June 23, 2023. Hello Lexi! How's our pretty girl? I miss you so much and think of you almost constantly. We are all well. I've packed all your things away in a new bin. In the autumn I think I'll put out your rug and yellow ball toy for the winter months. Outside kitties are still with us but it's so hot for them now. I never know where Simon will sleep at night. It seems like it's always a different spot. A few nights he slept on the bed which he hardly ever does. I hung two photos and a print in the bedroom. One photo is of us under the covers taking a nap, one photo is of me holding you and Lena holding Simon during the early winter of 2018 when you and Simon were kittens. We are all sitting on the sofa. The third frame is a print of a kitty angel with your coloring sleeping. The print has an angel's halo and angel wings. It reminds me that you are an angel now. I made some edits to your memorial today and just wanted to say Hello as long as I was here. Time to get ready for work. It's Friday and we will be going grocery shopping when I get home like we always do. Remember when you and Simon were kittens every time we came home from grocery shopping you two had to smell everything we brought home? I think about that every time we return from the grocery store. Well Lexi I hope you are having a wonderful time and are completely happy. I can't wait to see you again. Sending you all my love, Dad.

July 18, 2023. Hello Lexi! How's our pretty girl? I miss you so much. I just got back from camping with my friend Brian. Last summer when we first starting talking about taking this camping trip and you were still here I started worrying about how you would be if I was gone for a few days. You had never known a day without me. During the trip I had a dream that I was in the basement and you were sitting on the steps. I could see you through the doorway and called to you to come in. You came in to the basement and then the dream ended but it was sure good to see you. I'm off work this week and sure wish you were here; we could take a few of our naps. Well pretty girl, I'll let you go for now. I miss you so much. Know that I talk to you and think of you often. Love, Dad.

September 7, 2023, 10:30pm. Hi Lexi! I'm sitting in bed reading and out of the corner of my eye I seen you jump onto the bed, tail up. Did you hear me greet you? It's so good to see you; Good girl Lexi! Good girl. It's great to see you. Remember when you would sleep next to me when I was sitting on the sofa reading? Visit anytime bestest girl! I miss you and I love you so much. Dad

October 8, 2023. Hello Lexi! How's my best girl? Well it was a year ago on this date that you left us. I have thought about you and talked to you every day since you left. I don't cry as often now when I think about you as I did when you first left. I can't believe you've been gone a year honey; but the days come and go and time passes so quickly. I miss you so much and love you so much Lexi. I still see you everywhere in the house, sleeping by the window, sleeping on the arm of the loveseat, sitting at the top of the stairs, sleeping in your chair downstairs, running to greet me when I come home from work, sleeping by the heat register, sleeping in the cat castle and all the other places you would be. Simon went under the bed and rested a few days ago for the first time since you left a year ago. He was always resting under the bed when you were here; you would be sleeping on top of the bed in the corner of the bed and Simon would be underneath you under the bed. Simon is getting along the best he can. I don't know if he remembers you or not but I talk to him everyday about you. He flicks his tail when I say your name so maybe he remembers you. I set out your rug, water dish and yellow ball toy again for winter. I had those things put away during the summer in your bin with your other things so they would not get wet if we had heavy rain and it came in the basement, but this summer we did not get any rain water coming into the basement. I can see your things now again everyday just like when you were here. It may be silly but it gives me comfort to see your things out in your place again. Your kitty mom and grandmother are still with us along with gray kitty. They are still living in the garage and doing OK; but another winter is on the horizon and we will do the best we can to take care of them. The heating pads are all working, I washed all their blankets and I just need to put a new wick in the kerosene heater and they should be ready for winter. I love you and miss you so much Lexi. You're always in my thoughts honey. Sending you all my love honey, Dad.

December 25, 2023. Merry Christmas Lexi! How's our best girl? We miss you so much Lexi. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. Our second Christmas without you here. We had a nice dinner on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day. We opened gifts on Christmas Day. Lena gave me a black t-shirt with the outline of a cat in white with white whiskers. She said it reminded her of you and so she bought it for me. I will wear it often honey. I'm sure I will wear it out quickly and when it's too bad to wear I will place it in your bin with all your other things. I had your rug out for a little while in your place downstairs but it's kind of bad and if you were still here I would be getting you a new one. I put it back in your bin and bought a new rug for your place. Your water dish and yellow ball toy are out also and on your new rug. The winter after you left was a very long one. We had snow in early November and it never melted. Our last snow was on April 30; a very long winter. This winter is just the opposite and very abnormal. We had a few inches of snow the day before Halloween and it melted a few days later. Since then it's been too warm to snow and today on Christmas Day 2023 it is 50 degrees and we have no snow. Your kitty mom, kitty grandmother, and gray kitty are still with us. They made it through the summer and fall. I never know where Simon is going to sleep. One night it's on the bed, another night on top of the dresser, another night on the ledge by the window, seems to be a different place every night. You always went to your chair at bed time. Well honey I will let you go for now. I love you so much and miss you so much pretty girl, Dad.

February 12, 2024. Hello Lexi! How's the prettiest girl? I miss you so much honey. Last night I had a dream about you. I took out some trash and on the way back you were hiding in a opening in one of the concrete blocks in the back yard. You were a kitten and peeked your head out to see me. I said "Hi Lexi". You ran out from the block and jumped on the fence. I said "Let's go in Lexi" and picked you up and took you in. As we entered the back door to the house the dream ended. It sure was good to see you again. We never let you or Simon outside when you were kittens but in some of my other dreams about you I have been outside when I seen you. Like the one where I was standing at the end of the sidewalk and you came running down the street to me. Well honey I should get ready for work. I'm still getting over a really bad cold I had last week. I was home the whole week except Monday. It's only the second time since 2017 that I've been sick. I miss you so much. Be a good girl and I'll talk to you later. Dad.

October 8, 2024. How's our best girl? Just thought I would mark your 2nd year here at the Bridge. It's certainly not a date I celebrate or remember with any fondness. It was the worst day of my life. But I wanted to acknowledge it anyway. A few nights ago I thought I heard your yellow ball toy rolling around. Simon was sleeping on the dresser so I know it wasn't him. Did you come to visit and play with yellow ball? I like to think you did. I think about you and talk to you everyday. I hung a couple of photos of you in my room, one when you were a kitten sitting on the kitchen table and one when you were around 2 sitting on your rug in the basement. Lena bought me a black glass cat statue that looks like you. I put up a little shelf in my room that has that glass cat statue, a candle, and a music box as a memorial to you. I bought a new rug and put it in your personal space and put your water dish and yellow ball toy on it for the winter. I'm home sick this week. Simon is well. He hasn't needed to go to the doctor for any issues since the January after you left when he spent 3 weekends at the emergency vet clinic. All 3 outside kitties are still with us. Gray kitty is very thin and looks to me like there is something wrong with him, but he acts like he is fine. I'll soon have to wash their rugs and get their heater ready for winter. I guess that's all for now honey. I miss you so much and wish you were here. I have 3 years until I retire and was planning on you being here. I used to think about how much more time we could spend together when I retired. Remember when we used to talk about that? I often think about one of the times I came home from work and looked around the corner of the wall to see you running across the living room towards me to greet me. We were also so happy to see each other after work. I will be so happy to see you again someday honey. Bye for now, Love Dad.

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