11/1 - Some days are just bad ones. Today I can not stop thinking about you. On those days I come to the bridge to visit you.  I know you are in the arms of the angels and that really helps.  I am putting my faith in God that He will reunite us some day.  One of my friends told me if only love could cure!  Then she said that the love of God does cure and that you are happy and healthy and having fun in Heaven.  I just feel like your passing is teaching me a new lesson, I'm am still trying to figure it out, but at the very least I know that it meaningful and life changing.  I love you and miss you so much.  You are such a little monster playing up there with all of your toys.  You crazy little boy.  Love always, Mom.

10/17 - One very long week and I am now thinking of all of the good stuff.  I still cry.  God says we have to mourn. One of my dear friends told me that our lost pets could be in no better place than with God.  Knowing this makes me feel better. I found all of your baby pictures today and I laughed until I could not stand it any more. You were a real monster when you where young.  A true Yorkie spirit.  I firmly believe that God gave us a full range of emotions and now I choose to use the good and happy ones.  I will miss you for eternity, but as I promised, I will smile at your memory and think of all the great times we had playing together.I miss you little buddy! My Maurice William Peter XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

10/12 - When Maurice was 5 weeks old, we brought him home.  Every one was a little nervous because at home we had Mercy the Doberman waiting for him.  She had been an abused and abandoned dog that my sister Joni had rescued. We let the two meet slowly, but then boom, some how they both got out together.  My heart stopped!  I was sure Mercy was going to eat this tiny boy for lunch.  What she did was miraculous.  She put him in her mouth, went to the fireplace, curled up and cuddled him against her breast.  They were together always until I moved to Arizona.  She loved her little baby.  Gee, she actually found her match in his fiestiness.  Maurice would bite her butt if she got out of line.  Boy did Maurice love his new Momma.  Today Mercy went to the Rainbow Bridge to take care of her baby.  I am so sad for my sister who loved her big girl, but so happy Maurice has his Mom with him.  I know Mercy was very ill and Maurice was calling her home.  It gives me comfort knowing they are playing together with Mercy and her other baby Norman.  The clocks are starting to tick again and the sun is coming up.  Last night the stars came out to play.  Thanks Maurice and Mercy for turning the world back on for me. And thanks Mom and Joni for helping. 

10/11 Hey Bubba, this is how I feel today:

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, 
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let the aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is dead,
Put the crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, 
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My moon, my midnight, my talk, my song; 
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong
The stars are not wanted now: put out everyone;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood. 
For nothing can ever come to any good.
This poem was written in 1936 and published by Random House, New York in 1940

But I know this is how you feel:

Do not stand at my grave and weep; 
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die. 

My promise to you is that I will work hard to get better and be happy.  You were such a trooper. Always happy through much illness and you made me proud.  Dr. Schure and all of his employees really loved you. You are the miracle that survived Cushing's Disease.  You fought hard against Diabetes.  You fought hard against endocrine diseases too numerous to know.  But you still always smiled and kissed your family, you were happy to see us every day and ate like a pig all of the time.  I am fighting my selfish feelings of loss knowing you are playing in Heaven and waiting for the arrival of the rest of your family.  Make sure you give Tom and Grandma and Granddad lots of kisses from all of us.  You have a new mission, to take care of them.My little Bubba, you were the light of my life.  You loved playing tug of war with toys and protecting the house. You NEVER lost your Yorkie spirit and that was most important to you and me.  I wish I could hug you again and I do in my dreams.  I promise to always remember the good times we had and the travels you took.  Even if they were just me chasing you through the neighborhood!  You were born in Texas, died in Arizona, but will always be with me.  Kelly misses you to.  He cries in silence but knows you are much happier now.  More importantly, he is so happy you did not suffer.  He is so sensitive.  He loved you more than you know.Freddy is looking for you.  He is sad and misses his brother.  He will protect me and Kelly now, just like you did.  Fredlet is ready for the challenge! Rosie sat by the back door and cried out loud for you.  She knows you are gone and wants you to know she is also sad. But please know that Rosie and Freddy are comforting each other.  We are all survivors.Right now the loss is tough and Kelly is trying to keep me busy with fun stuff. Right now my spirit is broken.  But I know eventually I will get my Yorkie spirit back. I know that in the name of my little Bubba I will get better, that is what you want.  YOU ARE A MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY.  WE LOVE YOU..........YOU ARE THE GANGSTER OF LOVE, THE SPACE COWBOY, MY LITTLE MAN, MY BUBBALICIOUS