Remember when you were a puppy and you'd jump up on the bed before me, then take my spot?!? I'd have to first slide your head over to your own pillow, then move your butt over so I could go to bed! This was our ritual for years! And that sexy butt of yours! We couldn't get down the hallway without you stopping three or four times and putting your chest on the floor and your butt up in the air so I could scratch you! I miss having you sit near me while I plant flowers. And when I mowed the lawn, you'd just get comfortable, then have to move again when I turned around and came back. Afterwards, you'd come into the house and your feet would be stained green from the freshly-mowed grass! I miss seeing you sitting at the window when I came home from work, and you'd jump down and greet me at the door. Toward the end, you slept more and you couldn't hear me come in anymore, and many times it took you a while to wake up and realize I was home. Now, I come home to a too-quiet house.

I almost lost you a couple of times when you got sick, but you always pulled through. Then when you got cancer, I knew I wouldn't have you much longer, but I always hoped the chemo would give us at least another year or so together. You fought the good fight, baby boy, but this time they couldn't save you. We didn't know that was going to be your last day, sweetie. I have such guilt that I made the decision. I wondered if it was because I was just so tired toward the end. I wish you could have told me if it was okay. I miss you so much, Presley. Grandma misses you, too. She didn't get to see you one more time.

I asked Patches to take care of you in heaven. I love you, baby boy. "Be a good boy, be a good watchdog, get up in the window, and I'll see you when I get home." Mommy

"Looking back on the memory of the dance we shared, beneath the stars above.
For a moment all the world was right, how was I to know that you'd ever say goodbye?
And now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance." The Dance (Garth Brooks)

June 29, 2014:

Presley,

Last night I had a dream with you in it. It couldn't have lasted longer than just a couple of minutes. Craig was there, too, and we were in my kitchen, and it was early evening. I looked down, and there you were, looking up at me. My first thought was of panic.... "Presley, have I given you your insulin yet today?" You didn't look sick, but I was scared that you hadn't had your insulin. Then as you walked by me, my next thought was one of confusion: "Wait... I haven't given you your insulin in a long time." You started to walk up the stairs, not slowly with one foot at a time because of your old bones with a touch of arthritis, but steady and swift, like there was nothing wrong. Right then, I woke up, and realized why I hadn't given you your insulin... because you're not here, baby boy.

I played the dream over and over in my mind. I wondered if it was you trying to tell me that you're okay now, that you don't need your insulin (or chemo, or other meds) anymore. Or was it a dream of how much I worried about you all the time? I'm not sure why (Uncle) Craig was there. As I recall the dream, neither he nor I spoke. Maybe he was just there as my protector, as he always was when we were growing up. I don't know. I do know, though, baby boy, this was the first time I dreamed about you since you've been gone. You are constantly in my waking thoughts, but sleep has been fitful.

I love and miss you, sweetie.

Love, Mommy

July 3, 2014:

The smallest things make me think of you, baby boy. Yesterday I replaced the cover on the light over the kitchen sink that I would leave on for you at night. When I told Grandma about it, I started crying. She did, too. We both miss you so much, Presley.

July 16, 2014:

I was glancing through my emails today, sweetie, and there was one sent from Petsmart titled, "Fun things for Presley!" The tears came, baby boy. I still miss you so much. I've done so much better not crying every time I think of you, but the smallest things hit me out of the blue. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and the things you did to make me laugh or just melt with love. I still think of our last moments together... and still feel the guilt. I know you were sick, sweetie, but I always wonder if I made the decision too soon. You never complained if you didn't feel well, and on that last day you seemed to be doing okay. But the docs didn't think it would be much longer. I always swore I would never let you suffer, but I just wish you could have talked to me and told me if it was the right thing to do then. I love you, baby boy.

August 7, 2014:

Baby boy, how are you? Mommy misses you so much. When I come home with groceries and set the bags on the floor, you're not there to stick your head into every bag and sniff at what's in them. Sometimes you'd find something that caught your interest (besides your treats!) and drag it out of the bag - usually anything wrapped in cellophane that made noise. You were so adorable!

I can't believe it's been 3-1/2 months, sweetie pie.

Presley, I keep going back to your last day. I keep re-living our time together in the "quiet room." They brought in a big pillow and blanket for you to lay on, but, as always, you wanted to be up on the couch! So you laid on the couch and I sat on the floor in front of you and talked to you and rubbed you for what seemed like hours. I finally told the doc I was ready (but I wasn't!!!), and she came in and gave you the first injection. I kept telling you over and over and over, "I'm so sorry, sweetie, I'm so sorry!" You went to sleep within moments. I wanted to scream out, "STOP!" before she gave you the second injection, but I didn't. Sometimes I wish I would have. You stopped breathing, and then let out a breath of air. It surprised me and I gasped. The doctor said that was normal, then left the room. I started wailing hysterically before she even had the door shut. And then you let out two or three more breaths. I wept uncontrollably for probably an hour, baby. I kept whispering to you, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" I stroked your ears and your head, telling you how much I loved you. I stroked that big ol' nose of yours and laughed - you never liked me to touch your nose! My eyes were so red from crying. Finally they came in and asked if they could take you now. I said yes. I think I was all cried out. They put you on the gurney and I stroked you one more time.

I talk to you all the time, Pres. I still tell you to be a good boy when I leave for work. I look at your pictures and tell you how beautiful you are. I still cry at times. And I keep asking God to tell you how sorry I am and how much I miss you. And that I hope you forgive me.

I love you, sweetie.

Mommy

August 10, 2014:

Sweetie, I had another dream of you. Again, very, very short, but it was so good! You were sitting on the floor looking up at me, and I bent down and cupped your face in my hands. I was so happy to touch you again! That was it, baby boy... very short, and then I woke up. But I woke up smiling! I love you, Pres.

Mommy

August 13, 2014:

Baby boy, I received your dog license renewal form in the mail today. I gotta email the Humane Society that you're gone. I can't call them - I don't think I could talk without crying.

Remember how you would always lick your tags when I'd put your collar on? You knew we'd be going for a ride when I jingled your collar. I hope you're getting all the car rides you want in heaven!

I miss you, sweetie. Mommy

August 20, 2014:

It's been 4 months, baby boy. It doesn't seem like it. It feels like just yesterday I lost you, because the pain is still there. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. Today I was feeding the birds and squirrels in the back yard, and I pictured you there, running up to the tree and making the birds fly off. The squirrels would scamper up the tree, and you'd just stop and sniff around. I know you never wanted to hurt any of the little critters that would visit.

Grandma reads these, and she said they make her cry. I don't mean to make her cry - I thought I cry enough for the whole world. But Grandma misses you too, sweetie. I hope you are okay and making friends in heaven. I don't know if you can see or hear me, but I hope you know that I love you and miss you very, very much. Someday I will see you again, baby boy.

Mommy

September 18, 2014:

Baby boy, you are never far from my thoughts. I still tell you when I am leaving for work, and when I get home I yell out, "Presley, I'm hoooome!" I was looking through some things today and found two poems. They say so much.

"TO MY FRIEND".... by Barbara S. Wright

You gaze at me with clouded eyes
as we recall another day;
when there were always sunny skies,
and you and I for hours would play.

You and I would run with ease
side by side through fields of green;
and tumble, laughing, to our knees
admiring the pastoral scene.

You and I would meditate
in silence on a grassy knoll.
Then, oh, so patiently I'd wait
while you explored a gopher hole.

Every neighbor knows the name
of the one who trods in tune with me.
There is no other quite the same,
and that is plain for all to see.

Silken ears drape all around.
Eyes are rimmed in deepest kohl.
Who would think a basset hound
could fill the corners of my soul?

I call, but you don't hear my voice;
not even when I clap my hands.
If only I could have a choice,
I'd cease the flow of timely sands.

Now your eyes are growing dim
and they can't see my tear-stained sleeve.
If I could ask one thing of Him,
I'd pray that you will never leave.

"Dogs Don't Have Souls, Do They?"

I remember bringing you home. You were so small and cuddly with your tiny paws and soft fur.

You bounced around the room with eyes flashing and ears flopping. Once in a while, you'd let out a little yelp just to let me know this was your territory.

Making a mess of the house and chewing on everything in sight became a passion and when I scolded you, you just put your head down and looked up at me with those innocent eyes as if to say: "I'm sorry, but I'll do it again as soon as you're not watching."

When I had a tough day at work, you would be waiting for me with your tail wagging just to say, "Welcome home. I missed you." You never had a bad day and I could always count on you to be there for me.

When I sat down to read the paper and watch TV, you would hop on my lap looking for attention. You never asked for anything more than to have me pat your head so you could go to sleep with your head over my leg.

As you got older, you moved around more slowly. Then one day, old age finally took its toll, and you couldn't stand on those wobbly legs anymore. I knelt down and patted you lying there, trying to make you young again. You just looked up at me as if to say you were old and tired and that after all these years of not asking for anything, you had to ask me to do one last favor.

With tears in my eyes, I drove you one last time to the vet. One last time you were lying next to me.

For some strange reason you were able to stand up in the animal hospital - perhaps it was your sense of pride.

As the vet led you away, you stopped for an instant, turned your head and looked at me as if to say: "Thank you for taking care of me."

I thought, "No, thank YOU for taking care of ME."

Presley, I love and miss you so much.

Mommy

September 24, 2014:

Presley, I had another strange dream of you last night. Apparently it was about 2 weeks after I lost you, and I went back to the Emergency Vet for some reason. I found out you had just woken up! It was really weird. I think I remember that they were just about to put you down again because you shouldn't have woken up. Instead, I took you home. I was so happy... but you didn't seem the same. You mostly just laid on the bed. Once again, the dream didn't last very long. I just remember feeling very confused about what was happening. The only reason I think I dreamed this was because I was thinking about you as I drifted off to sleep... and I still to this day ask for your forgiveness. I don't know if I'll ever get over the guilt, baby boy, because you couldn't tell me if it was time to go. I'm sure you are happy in heaven, and just hope you understand.

I love you, sweetie, and will never, ever forget you. You were the best friend anyone could ever wish for. You were so beautiful, so adorable, and very intelligent. You were such a good boy. I hope Patches was there for you and that you two are hanging around together. She was such a good girl, too. Someday we'll all be together again.

Mommy

October 20, 2014:

Sweetie pie... it's been 6 months. Six very long months, and I've missed you every single day. A few days ago was Grandma's birthday, and it was the first time you weren't there to celebrate with us. I gave Grandma some coffee mugs with your pictures on them and she cried. She misses you so very much, too. Christmas this year is going to be hard because you won't be there to tear open your presents.

Sweetie, I found a place where you and Patches and I will be together forever when the time comes. It's called Evergreen Memorial Park, and it' a beautiful area in Evergreen, Colorado that allows pet parents to be with their fur babies. I'm going to go up and visit them one of these days and pick out a place for all of us to be together, with a beautiful headstone with all of our names and maybe your and Patches' pictures, too. I want to put your leashes and some of your toys and other things in with us. God willing, it will be a long time before it's my time, but I just wanted you to know that we'll all be together again some day.

I love you, baby boy.

Mommy

January 1, 2015:

Oh, baby boy.... I can't believe it's been over 8 months since I lost you. Still not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I regret that toward the end I didn't give you your favorite treats ("Dingo balls!") because I was afraid they would somehow interfere with your cancer treatments. You went several months without your goodies.... had I known I was going to lose you, I would have given you anything and everything to make you happy. The tears flow less, but still come once in awhile, Pres. I still sometimes feel lost without you. A friend reminded me that, with the exception of just a few days in the almost-13 years that I had you, you were with me every day. You were my constant. You made me smile every single day. Yesterday I was thinking about how, as you got older, you would jump up and put your front paws on the edge of the bed, and wait for me to lift you up onto the bed. Sometimes when you were asleep, you'd have a nightmare and start howling in your sleep - "whoooo hooooooo..." I'd feel so bad, and touch you to wake you up slightly to calm you, and you'd go right back to sleep. You were my protector, too - you'd let me know when someone was at the door, and on our walks you'd warn other people you didn't trust to stay away from us. You were such a good boy!

I have most of your stuff packed in a big box, sweetie, but just have not been able to close and seal the box yet. I love you so much, baby boy, and miss you terribly.

Love, Mommy

March 4, 2015:

Hi baby boy. I miss you. I heard this song recently and thought the words fit perfectly.

"I Can't Let Go" - by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman

They say nothing lasts forever
Well, I wish that that were true
'Cause this aching in my heart won't go away

They sing, "Ev'rything must change,"
They say that time will see you through
Well I've listened and I've waited for that day

But I wake up with this anger
And the pain won't let me be
And the smile I share
is only there for show

If I hang on to this heartache
Then my soul will not be free
So I keep trying
But I just cannot let go

I can't let go
Oh, I need it to remind me
I can't let go...

People at work ask me why I don't get another dog. They don't understand.... you weren't "a dog." You were my baby.

I love you, sweetie. Mommy

April 20, 2015
To Presley, 1 year later:

Oh, Sweetie Pie, I can't believe it's been a year. I still grieve the loss of you. I see you every day in my mind, remembering the things you would do that made you so loveable. You were such a beautiful soul, both inside and out. I was so lucky to have you in my life. I thank you, baby boy, for sharing your life with me. I will miss you and love you for all time. Someday we'll be together again, Sweetie.

Love forever, Mommy

November 26, 2015:

Hi baby. Mommy misses you. I can't believe it's been over a year-and-a-half. I still think about you every day. My dreams of you aren't very often, but when you are in my dreams, I wake up with a smile and thank God that I got to "see" you again. I hope you are doing okay, and are happy and healthy once more. I still cry occasionally, sweetie. I haven't yet gotten up to Evergreen to pick out our spot, but I will soon. I love you, baby boy. And miss you terribly.

Love, Mommy

April 20, 2016:

Oh, Sweetie Pie, it's been two very long years. My heart is still heavy with sorrow. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I hope you hear me when I talk to you, but in case you don't, I ask God every day to tell you how much I miss you and love you. Soon I will plant the flowers in front, and think of you lying next to me (always in the way! ha!) while I pretend to have a green thumb. Hopefully this year the tears won't flow, but I can't promise they won't. I hope you and Patches have found each other in Heaven and are watching out for each other. I tell her that she would absolutely love you, and I know you would love her. You were so much alike - both so loving and loveable.

My consolation is that we will all be together again some day. And that you are no longer in pain, and can see and hear well again. I hope you are having fun chasing squirrels and rabbits (even though you wouldn't know what to do if you caught one!), and have all the chew bones and "Dingo balls" you want! I still regret I didn't let you have your treats toward the end. Had I only known.

I love you so much, baby boy. You are so precious.

Mommy

P.S. I still have not sealed the box with all of your things. I just can't yet.

May 13, 2016:

Baby boy, I was looking at the things I have laid out for you by your memorial - I hope you know each means something special.

Of course, St. Francis is my favorite Saint as the protector of all animals.

When you were a puppy, you used to carry around a big rawhide bone in your mouth, with the big knotted ends sticking out of each side of your mouth - and there's a picture on here to prove it!

The single red rose is for the time you grabbed a plastic rose out of my planter and ran around with it in your mouth, looking like Casanova! That picture is on here, too - you were so adorable!

The water bowl is for when you would walk over to your bowl, look at it then look at me as if to say, "Well, are you going to give me fresh water?" You were so spoiled! I trust your water bowl in heaven has perpetually fresh water.

And the candle is for the one I would light and say a prayer for you when you had cancer... I didn't use it very long before I lost you.

Of course, the song "Memories" by Elvis is because the words fit so well how I feel... and, it is sung by your namesake! You did the Elvis lip perfectly!

I love you and miss you. Always.

Love, Mommy

April 20, 2017:

Three years, Presley. I can't believe it, baby boy. I still miss you so much. I hope you hear me when I talk to you. I smile when I think about what a beautiful soul you were, and all the times you made me laugh. The house seems too empty and quiet without you. Of course, your beautiful pictures and things are all around for me to look at. I still have not sealed your box....

I pray you and Patches are together, playing and running around, chewing on all the "T-Bonz" and "Goof Balls" that you want! I ask God every single day to keep you safe and to tell you how much I love you and miss you!

Someday, sweetie.... Until then, the memories of you fill my heart!

Mommy

Nov. 3, 2017:

Hi baby boy,

Today I woke up and wondered why you weren't on the bed. I don't think I was dreaming, or had been dreaming, but I could feel you weren't on the bed with me. Then I thought that maybe you were on the floor or in the hallway, but wondered why you would be there and not in bed -- you were ALWAYS in bed sleeping when I was! Then after a few seconds, I realized you weren't in bed because you are gone. And it made me sad again.

I still think of you every day, sweetie. It's been 3-1/2 years, and I still grieve. I don't cry everyday like I used to, but I still tear up once in a while. People wonder when I'm going to get another dog, and I just can't yet... maybe never again. I think I'm afraid if I get another baby to love, I won't remember you as much, and I can't let that happen. I need to still grieve the loss of you.

I hope you hear me when I talk to you. And I hope you know that when I say I love you and miss you, you know I mean it so much. Someday we'll be together again, baby boy. Along with Patches.

Love, Mommy

April 20, 2018:

My precious Presley,

I cannot believe it's been 4 years today. My sorrow has lessened a little, but you are never far from my thoughts. I still tell you that I am leaving for work. My happy memories of you are always close, and my tears don't come as often. You were always such a good boy -- I miss you "guarding" the house, and sitting in the window to watch the world. You were so smart! You knew that if someone walked by in front to the north, to run out that way into the back yard, and if they walked to the south, you wouldn't be able to see them from the back yard.

You always got so excited when I would say, "Youuuuuuuu.... wanna go for a walk?!??" as I jingled your collar. You would have walked forever if I didn't make you turn around at some point -- you would come home so exhausted, but happy. You made me laugh out loud when you pulled me behind you as you chased a rabbit. You were mischievous - you loved to grab a pen or something off the table, then look at me like, "Well? Are you going to chase me?" You loved to ride in the car, especially when we went to visit Grandma. You would sit in the window, then eventually lay down so Grandma could rub your ears. Then when it was time to go home, you'd rush out the door without even saying, "Thanks, Grandma!" Ha.

You were never demanding, but I loved to spoil you. I hope you knew how very much you were loved. And I hope you know how very much you are missed.

Someday we'll be together again, baby boy. You, me, and Patches.

'Til then, with all my heart I love and miss you,

Mommy

P.S. Grandma misses you, too. She couldn't get on the computer to write something to you, but will one of these days.

April 20, 2019:

My Baby Boy Presley,

Time goes by faster every year, which means the sad anniversary of losing you arrives all too soon each year. I can't believe it's been 5 years. Five years of grieving. The tears don't flow as often or as much, but I love you and miss you no less. When I talk about you and the funny things you used to do or how much happiness you brought me, it feels like just yesterday you were with me.

I still cannot get another fur baby -- it would not be fair to him or her because I could not love another as much as you. You were, and always will be, the light of my life. I hope you are eating all the Dingo balls you want, running fast and far because you are young again, and can see all the beauty around you because your eyes are no longer cloudy. Someday I expect you and Patches to meet me at the Rainbow Bridge.

Until then, Baby Boy, know that you are never far from my thoughts.

Love forever and ever,

Mommy

April 23, 2019:

Baby boy, today would have been your 18th birthday. Happy birthday, Pres. Patches would have been 35(!) on the 21st! I hope you and Patches are celebrating. I love and miss you both.

Mommy

April 20, 2020:

Baby boy, another year -- I can't even believe it. Six years, sweetie -- it makes me realize how fast time goes by. I still think about you a lot. You were the light of my life. If you only knew how much happiness and love you brought me. I hope you are making everyone in Heaven smile and are getting your favorite treats! Is Patches with you?

It's a strange time right now, baby. The world has almost shut down. I still have to go to work, but I don't go out much on my days off. You would have loved having me home a lot! And I would have loved spending even more time with you! Grandma is having some eye problems we're hoping will get better, and Uncle Ken is still here. I wish you were here to bring some much-needed joy.

I miss you so much, sweetie pie. Some day we will be together again. In the meantime, know that I think about you. I still have not sealed your box of things....

Love and many, many kisses!

Mommy

July 6, 2020:

Sweetie pie, I finally made myself go through your box - I sorted through your things (very hard), read a lot of your medical records from when you were sick (hard), and read about your last day at the emergency vet's (hardest). I packed a lot of your pictures into the box along with your collars, bowls, and some toys. I will seal the box up shortly, which will not be easy. Know, baby boy, that this does not mean I won't still grieve. I will miss you forever and ever, until we can be together again. You will always be my baby boy, just as Patches will always be my baby girl. This box has the things you loved and that I cherish, as well as a few things of Patches'. It will go with us when we share a resting place in Evergreen someday.

I love you and miss you so much, Pres.

Mommy

April 20, 2021:

Baby boy. I detest April 20th. You have been gone from me for 7 years now, and I still miss you. But more sad news - Uncle Kenny (my younger brother) passed away today. I've been taking care of him for 3 years, sweetie, and he's had a lot of health issues. This last time I took him to the hospital, he literally wanted to die because he hurt so bad. When he finally started feeling better, he was taken to a nursing home and hospice. I think he was so tired of fighting. He declined pretty rapidly (which I still feel was due to the nursing home's negligence). He passed around 05:45 this morning. I hope you and Patches and Mufon were there to greet him!

I am so sad, Pres. I still think of and grieve over you, and now Ken is gone. But as with you, I know Kenny is at peace now, and not in pain anymore.

Someday we'll all be together again. I love you both.

Mommy (Patti)

April 20, 2022:

Pres, another year has gone by. And now, I share this day with the passing of my brother Kenny one year ago. I hope you are both together with Mufon and Patches, and that Kenny has sight and is running around playing fetch with all of you. I dearly love and miss all of you.

Mommy

April 20, 2023:

Baby boy, another year gone by. I hope you know how much I still miss you. You've been gone from me for 9 years now - it doesn't seem possible. And Uncle Kenny's passing was 2 years ago. I starting dreading this day a few weeks ago. I love you and Kenny so much.

Mommy

April 20, 2024:

Where do the years go? Ten years since I lost you, baby boy, and three years since we lost Kenny... yet it seems like yesterday. In the days leading up to April 20th, fleeting memories of both of you appear in my mind, and I feel acute sadness. Even though, in my heart, I know you are both now pain-free and at peace, I can't help but think I could have... should have... done more. But is that realistic? You were both tired of fighting. I was exhausted.

I miss you both, and love you with all my heart.

Mommy (and Sis)