Today is Friday and it has not even been a week since you left. How am I supposed to do this Shy? It is getting harder everyday. I love you so much, please come to me in my dreams soon.

Friday was bad Shy, I didn't even remember posting here. Today is one week that I took you to the Dr. and tomorrow morning will be one week that you left. Do you know how much I miss you, how much I love you?

This morning is one week since you passed. I made a photo album of you, I wish I had more pictures of you and us together. My whole world is upside down...everything is changing. If I move into the new house now will you know were to find me? I always wanted you to have a yard to play in and call your own. It makes getting this house very hard. I had planned on taking you over there last Monday but instead I took you to the hospital. I miss you so very much.

Goodmorning sweetness...I miss you. Today is Wednesday the 7th...the vets office said I would have you back in a week but grandma thinks they said two weeks, I really hope it is soon. The video I found of you I had put on a disk, hoping that is ready today. Mittens is getting on my nerves, please ask her to stop. I love you.

You did come back to me today, your urn is so pretty and luck of the draw (or you had something to do with it) the frame for your pictures is the same color pewter. The disk of your video came in today also. I told grandma I should have had you in two urns, one for work and one for home because I want to keep you with me all day like when you were really here. I know if I drag you back and forth I will end up dropping you. Remember when you were younger and I always had your bag of toys...I had my purse and we had your bag. Just might have to pull that out again for your ball, dog and picture. Pulling down some Unicorns tonight and dusting them off to pack...it's hard to think of moving, we were here almost 12 years, you have been gone a week and now I have to leave here. It is a little much, please give me strength like you always did. Oh..I talked to Jo today, her Mom is not going to be here much longer. Look for her and stay with her until I find you. I love you little girl and I wish to God that this was all a dream.

Brought you to work with me today, I miss you so much.
Lily sent me this:

When I am gone, release me, let me go.
I have so many things to see and do,
You mustn't tie yourself to me with too many tears,
But be thankful we had so many good years.

I gave you my love, and you can only guess
How much you've given me in happiness.
I thank you for the love that you have shown,
But now it is time I traveled on alone.

So grieve for me a while, if grieve you must
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
That it is only for a while that we must part,
So treasure the memories within your heart.

I won't be far away for life goes on.
And if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can't see or touch me, I will be near
And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear
All my love around you soft and clear

And then, when you come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and a Welcome Home
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i thought you might like this one. *hug*

She (Lily) asked her boy Schultz to find you and show you around, don't be afraid of him..not all pits are bad. I Love you.

Hi poo-bear....i really wish you were here in person. Lucy paid more attention to me today than before...was that you asking her to? I miss you so much Shy.

Brought you to work, decided to ask Edgard to make a box so I can carry you easier. I Love you so very much and it hurts so bad that you are not here. Jo sent me the cutest little thing, made out of wood show me hugging you. It is not really us but I see us.

Hi honey...tomorrow is 2 weeks since I lost you. Can you feel me? Do you know how much I love and miss you? My biggest fear, little one, is that you did not know how much I love you. It is killing me that you are gone and I really don't want to be without you. One more day, honey....I would give anything for just one more day. I am so sorry that I was not there when you needed me the most, I will never forgive myself for that. I tried...broke every traffic law there is but it was not enough. Last night I had a dream that I could not get to you (just like what happened), god I hope those kinds of dreams end soon. I Love You and Miss you with every part of me.

Tuesday, October 13th...two weeks since you left me. Had an icky dream again last night. I so hope you are o.k. and happy. I love you so very much. The picture poems I got for you came today, I will pick out the pictures for them soon. I wish you were still here Shy, I miss you so much.

Goodmorning sweetpea...you were my reason Shy. I wish I could have been there when you closed your eyes, to give you one more kiss. No icky dreams last night, stayed @ dads...he knew yesterday would be hard for me, I think every Monday and Tuesday will be for a while. You are the most wonderful gift I have ever received and I don't know how to do this without you. Wednesday night 10-14...if you were here right now I would bug you..tickle your paws while you were sleeping.
Checked the mail a bit ago...Grandma Meier sent me a card. She wants to pay for one of the poem pictures. Did you know she is the one who bought your first hammock for the Tundra?

Hi honey, thursday the 15th and I am at the new house. The tree people are here...wish you could have seen the yard. I think about you all the time...I love you.

Friday 10-16, brought your picture with me to the show. Left you at home today and I know it sounds silly to everyone but I feel bad about it. When you were here you never were by yourself for more than a few hours. I think 6 was the most (????????) and that was when you were younger and it was only one time. I miss you so much Shy. Jo's Mom passed last night....look for her if you can.

Hi honey...I miss you so very much.

Sunday 10-18....I keep hoping this is all a bad dream, It is so hard to know you are gone.

Hi poo bear, Tomorrow is three weeks...do you miss me? We have never been apart this long, 10 days was the most..a little more than two years ago when Gerald took me to germany for the first time. We go again on Friday..the issues and the guilt I felt when making plans for this trip, Utah and the next one. In a way maybe it is good that you left me so I would not have to leave you. I miss you so much, I wish you could really hear me. I am a mess..it is hard to really care about much with you gone. I just feel I could have done so much more. I know..everyone tells me that you were spoiled but that is how it should have been. You are the best little girl that I could have ever hoped for. Those of us who were lucky enough to spend everyday with you know how smart you are. One day I hope to get Dakota Ann (when you decide) and pray that she is as sweet and wonderful as you. Shy....didn't know it would be this hard.

3 weeks today. I don't know what to say, I hope you know how I feel.

10-21...goodmorning sweetness. I got a christmas ornament for you today. I want you back so bad, even for one day. My heart hurts so deep, I get sick to my tummy sometimes. It is better when I am super busy. Gerald and I leave in two days...the next two months will go by really fast. I hope you are o.k., I love you.

My Smoobear...I sure do miss you. Thursay 10-22, I won't be here for a bit but please don't think it is because I don't want to. Gerald and I leave for our trip tomorrow. Bought the fridge and stuff for the new house today, even though our place is not built yet I got a four piece deal. Saw Aunt Vera last night. She said she remembered you but I don't remember when you two met. She said she would look for you and be your friend until I get there. She should be with you before Christmas, really before the end of November. I hope you and Sharon found each other...I just don't want you to be alone. I miss you so very much. I called you "muttly" in front of grandma Meier last night and she laughed. Even though she does not agree with animals in the house she knows how important you are to me and how much I deeply love you. I so hope you still feel my love.

Friday 10-23, just a quick I love You and a kiss. I will bring you to grandmas before I go to the airport. I think about you all the time.......

Hi my girl, Tuesday 11-3, got back last night. Thought about you the entire time I was gone, being on the bike was harder because I was alone in my thoughts. I just miss you so much and wish so bad that I would have been home and with you the weekend before you left me. I am so sorry honey.. I love you.

11-4..Good Morning my love. I miss you so much, my heart is so lost without you. I hope you are sleeping well and having fun. I wish I could give you a kiss. When I saw Marion the other day she told me that she found out that your name "Shy-Ann" means present. Sounds right to me because you for sure were a present from God. I hope he is taking really good care of you, I love you with all I have.

11-5..hi honey, going to move some stuff today. It would have been a pain to pack and move before you left me. There are boxes everywhere, your bed is on the chair. I would give up everything to have you back...everything Shy-Ann, everything. It hurts so bad when I think that I won't see you again, you are everything to me. Please know how much I love you.

Friday, 11-6..Shy....I don't want to do this without you. Please help me sleep..i am not doing so good.

Monday 11-9 good morning little one..I miss you so much, I hope you feel that.

Tuesday 11-10..hi my poobear..today is Aunt Vera's funeral..grandma and I are going to stay down there for the night so I can have a few drinks, that is why I left you @ home. I am going to take your pictures so I can show Chris and Gail. I love and miss you so much honey.

Wed, 11-11..yesterday was 6 weeks that you left. I wish so bad that you were still here with me.

11-12, god I miss u..2day I took more stuff to the new house and 2morrow I go to Utah to see Joanne. It is so hard to b without you, when I wake up in the morning or go to bed...I just miss you so very much. I love you poobear.

11-13 Goodmorning Sweetness...kisses from me and lots of hugs. Yesterday Gail and I changed the layout of the furniture @ the new house..I decided to keep you in the bedrom with me. I wish your urn was not so cold, @ night when I reach to touch you it wakes me up. I go to see Joanne today...you b good and I love you.

11-16 Hi Honey..I wish you were here so bad. It was cold in Utah, snowed 7" on Sat. I feel so lost without you here to talk to.

11-17 Nothing is the same with you gone, I don't want to be alone but I don't want to be around people (or the cats). I just want you.

11-18 Yesterday was 7 weeks, when does it get easy? I love you little one.

11-19 One more day without you.

11-20 Friday, hi poobear..last night Christine and Stephan were here from Germany and the looked at all of your pictures. Today I take more stuff to the new house. I go to Geralds 2night and leave again tomorrow for Germany. I miss you so much Shy.

12-1 Hi my baby girl. We had a nice time in Germany. All though I thought and talked about you often it was easier being there than here at home. I was sad last night and this morning without you here. I miss your snoring, I am still not sleeping well. I should have recorded you...I love you honey.

12-2 I miss you

12-3 Hi honey, I so wish you were still here. I would love for you to see the new house, to sleep in front of the fire place. I still am not real sure how to do any of this without you. I hope you are okay..most of all I hope you know how much I truly Love you.

12-4 Last night with the apartment so empty...when we first moved in there we had nothing really. now I have 12 years of stuff to move and no you. can you feel me? I miss you so much.

12-7 Monday- Hi little one. Friday was our first night at the new house. The heater does not work right so it was really cold. I wish you were still here Shy, so you could sniff the yard, roll in the grass. I miss you so very much.

12-8 10 weeks since you left me. I miss you everyday and wish so bad that you were here. I love you.

12-9 I will never find another little girl as good as you. I was so lucky to have you. I miss you so much.

12-10 You were such a good girl. I never had to worry about you running away ar crossing the street when we were at work. You did it at home but never at work. It was as if you knew home was a dead end street and not busy. You only chewed stuff up one time and that was it. you didn't bark for no reason. Only went potty in the house when it was my fault. And you were so super smart. I so hope you know how much I love and miss you.

12-11 hi my sweet girl...

12-14 Monday, I am so sorry for putting you aside your last 2 1/2 years, you have to now how much I resent him for that. I know grandma took real good care of you on the weekends but that does not make me feel better. I think of you everyday and wish you were still here. I hope we are together again soon.

12-15 I miss you Shy. Everyone tells me you knew how much I love you..is that true? god how i miss you. I hate being alone. I am a mess..i love you little one.

12-17 I was out at the house all day yesterday waiting for the water heater guy. Wish you were there..I miss you

12-22 Hi honey, I hope you are okay. I think about you all the time and I miss you so very much.

12-28 Christmas just was not the same with out you. Gerald got me a camera, wish you were here so I could take some pictures of you. Dream about you. I miss you so much...I love you little one.

12-29 Today is three months since you left me. I would give anything to have you back again.

12-30-09 It really is so hard to do this without you. I am not used to being totaly alone. I keep thinking I could have saved you if grandma would have called me to tell me something was wrong or if I would have been home. I love you so much Shy, I just want you back, Nothing is the way it should be. I know I will never have a girl as good as you or as smart. i really was so lucky you came into my life on so many levels. I miss you looking at me, sometimes being silly. I love you.

1-4-10 I miss you so very much. Grandma might be sick, there is no way I could take losing the both of you with in a year of each other.

1-14-10 Please son't think I have forgotten about you. I think of yu all the time. The plates on my truck are now your name. I have to work now baby but I sure wish your were here.

1-19-10 I cry myself to sleep almost every night, it is so lonley without you. what do you want me to do shy?

1-21-10 It has been raining for a few days now...I loved drying you off, you were so cute.

1-26-10 I miss you so much.

1-29-10 4 months today little one. I wish to god I could just hold you again and tell you how much I love you. So many other things happening right now that if at least you were still here I would have a little happiness in my heart. For so many years you were my reason....I love you and I miss you so very much. You are the only one who has ever really loved me with no judgements.

2-2-10 Hi my sweet girl. I love and miss you so much.

2-10-10 Hi poo bear. I think of you all the time.

2-25-10 Hi sweatpea...You came to me night before last, thank you. I miss and need you so much it was nice to be able to pet you in my dream. I so hope you are ok and I wish I could be with you soon.

2-26-10 I hope you know how much I love you. I felt you that Sunday you were sick and I am so sorry I did not come home. Everyday I hurt more and more knowing that Gerald is not the one and I spent time with him instead of you. I am so sorry honey...and you were such a good girl about it. I love you so very much, please help me to forgive myself. If I could do it over little one..in my heart you are my choice.

3-8-10 I sure am missing you little one.

3-29-10 today is 6 months you have been gone. I need you so much.

4-2-10 This month we would have been together 16 years Shy. Today coming to work I passed the Ivy you played in when you were little. You were so cute. I love and miss you so much.

4-29-10 7 months today little one. I think about you everyday, I hope you feel that. I miss you so much and want to be with you so bad.

5-3-10 You came to me last night..I wish I could have dreamed longer.

5-6-10 leave for Germany again today. I miss ever so much. I wish you were still with me.

5-17-10 I will never stop wishing you were still here.

6-2-10 I miss you and think of you all the time, everyday.

6-9-10 Wish you were still here.

6-28-10 tomorrow is 9 months that you have been gone. Hard to believe it has been that long, the hurt from missing you is the same. I love you so much and wish so bad that you were still here.

7-28-10 I say Hi everytime I come home and rub your paw before I go to sleep. I miss you and think about you everyday.

8-23-10 It is so hard to have you gone, next month will be a year already.

9-8-10 Think about you every single day and still miss you so much. I love you little girl.

9-28-10 It is so hard to beleive that tomorrow is one year that you left. I miss you so much. I hope you feel safe and loved and I hope you are okay. Please feel me and how much I love you.

9-30-10 Hi honey...could get myself to bring up your page yesterday. Please come to me in a dream soon.

10-28-10 I think of you everyday and miss you so very much. I hope you are okay...I love you.

10-29-10 I sure do miss you poobear.

11-2-10 Hi little one..found out yesterday that Mr. Mom might have cancer on his nose. If it is he will only be with us for about a year. I know he misses you but not as much as me. I am so afraid that everything is going to crash down around me and iI will have no one who really cares. I so wish you were still here. I love you little one.

12-1-10 Gerald went to Kansas with me, we had fun. I sure do miss you.

12-13-10 Trying to put up Christmas stuff but not really wanting 2. I find your stocking, your christmas toys...the little ankle bells. I miss you so much Shy. Last week I had a dream that you didn't get sick you just got lost. I hope to God you know what I feel in my heart because I just keep saying the same thing over and over. Mr. Mom is still hanging in there...he does not seem to be in any pain but the hair on his nose is all gone and it seems to be getting fatter and more pink. We don't really know what is wrong with him...we don't want to have to put him through tests if he is not in any pain. He still acts the same. For the longest time he would sleep on your ramp. I still have both of your ramps, both of your beds, your toys...the blankie we bought our first night together. Your pillow dog is on my bedroom floor for you 3 sleep on. I would give anything to hold you again. Your collar and leash are still in the truck. I still touch your urn every night when I lay down and turn the bedroom light on for you when I get home. I hope I get to be with you soon. I love you little one.

12-26-10 Merry Christmas little one, I miss you.

1-4-11 God I miss you.

1-15-11 Eric passed away today...going to Kansas in a few days..makes me miss you more.

1-26-11 I wish the Rainbow Bridge had a phone...so I could hear your bark again. I thought of you today...but that's nothing new. I thought of you yesterday and the day before that too. I think of you in silence and often speak your name. All I have are memories..and pictures..in a....frame... (Not a day goes by i dont wish this..) rest well my baby.

2-25-11 Everyday I talk to you, wishing so much that you were still here.

3-21-11 Hi Sweatpea...Remember Trudee? Jim had to let here go last week, she was fighting cancer and it was time for her to go to the bridge. I wonder if you have seen her...I pray to God I get to see you again. I love and miss you so very much.

3-30-11 Black Cat went to the Bridge yesterday. Maybe he will want to play now. I miss and love you so much Shy-Ann.

4-12-11 I think of you everyday...

4-25-11 I miss you so very much, I wish you would come to me in my dreams more. The hurt from you being gone is so deep...please know how much I love you.

5-4-11 There is not one day that I do not think about you all of the time. I miss you so much.

5-19-11 I miss you so very much. Everyday is still so hard without you. I wish we could be together, I need to hold you so bad.

7-28-11 I know I am not on your page as often but I think about you every single day. I miss you.

8-15-11 Hi Little One, I have been so sad since you had to leave. I miss you so much and think about you all of the time. I wish so much we will be together soon.

9-7-11 Wow...2 years is coming and went so fast, even though everyday dragged on. I just renewed your page for forever...I love you so much.

7-4-12 I can't believe it has been so long that you have been gone. I think of you everyday and miss you so very much.

9-28-13 It has been 4 years...I miss you so much everyday. Mr. Mom is with me now, has been for a few months. He is getting old and someone was beating him up and he could not fight back anymore so I brought him home. I liked your hair way more than his. I love you little girl and miss you so very much. I love you.

9-28-14 5 years.... god I miss you.

10-6-14 We had to say goodbye to Mittens today... I hope she finds you.

9-29-15 6 years....It has been a rough few days. Missing you so much. Mr. Mom is still with me, did you find Mittens. I wish you could somehow answer.. I love you little girl. Nothing will ever take your place in my heart.

1-25-16 Mom is gone (Grandma). I hope you two are together.

6-27-16 Mr. Mom left me today, please find him.

12-23-16 Edgard is with you now.

10-30-19 Hi my sweet girl. I met someone amazing last night, I think you'd really like him.

1-14-20 I know you never met Oreo but can you find him please?

9-29-20 11 years today. I still miss you terribly and love you.