Sno-ball I miss you so much I can barely breathe right now. I didn't know that when I took you to the vet on Tuesday that you wouldn't be coming home with me. The doggy stroller I bought on Amazon is still in the box. I didn't care that people would think I was the crazy dog lady with her dog in a stroller, I just knew how much you loved going on our walks and I saw how much you had slowed down and I didn't want you to miss out on our walks. I didn't know how much you had going on because you never complained but I could see you declining and how you had to take a deep breath that last day just to get up on the patio after I let you out that morning. When you stopped eating your kibble, I knew something was going on because you ate everything and you never turned down food. I was willing to fix you chicken and rice every day for the rest of your life but when you turned that down I knew it was bad but I still didn't know how bad because you never complained. You were the best dog ever, loyal, a protector, unconditionally loving, playful, curious, and let me know every day that I was your favorite person in the world. Oh how I miss your snoring. I am so glad I have so many videos of you snoring so I can listen to them when I need to hear you but what I wouldn't give to have you snoring next to me one more time. I would have spent whatever it cost to make you better but the vet said there was nothing that was going to make you better and I was not going to let you suffer another day just so I could have you with me although I had no idea it would hurt this much. I had convinced myself that since I didn't raise you from a puppy like I did my previous fur babies I lost, that the loss wouldn't feel as great but I was so wrong. The grief is so much worse because you burrowed your way into my heart and you made me love you even though I said I didn't want another dog after losing my other babies. I just didn't want to feel that type of pain again but you needed a home and so I became your Mom. I will never forget you. I'm so glad I took so many pictures of you asleep on your pillow and of you asleep on the couch with me but I couldn't help myself because you were just so darn cute when you were asleep. I don't regret those times I slept balled up on the couch because you were stretched out at my feet and I didn't want to disturb you. I don't regret having to sleep on the couch in the family room for the last 3 years because you needed to go out to the bathroom sometimes at two in the morning. I would do it all over again just to have you with me. I have been sleeping in my bed since you crossed the Rainbow Bridge and I would rather be on the couch hearing you snore. I have one of your favorite stuffed toys and the soft towel I took you to the vet in that last time in the bed with me because they smell like you and I will sleep with them until I can no longer smell you because they are the only thing I have that brings me any comfort right now. I miss kissing your sweet little button nose every morning when you put your little face right in my face to let me know you needed to go out. I just miss everything about you. I just can't stop crying because it just hurts so much. Until I see you again Mee-maw...

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