by Stephanie
Today I made an appointment to end the life of my very best friend, Egu. Eguzki was not like any animal I had ever come in
contact with; not like any of the kitties I grew up with or any that I had ever come to love. I mean I love ALL kitties, but Egu
was something else. I got her in Barcelona while I was living there, teaching English, and going through some rough times. The
break-up of a long term relationship that left me with a despair that is difficult to describe in words. She was the runt of the litter,
of parents a Siamese mom and a white kitty dad who were very much in love with each other. Egus parents were from Brazil.
Egu was a fighter, she almost died when she was born. I brought her to the States in 1995 when I came back to resettle. She
knew the sound of my car (more than 1 over the years!)and used to wait for me. She and I were totally dependent on each
other. She always followed me around the house and talked to me. I couldnt even close the bathroom door because she would
cry until I opened it. She was damned SMART. Wow was she smart. And gorgeous too. Theres so much I could say about
her...
About 2 weeks ago her eye started to tear so I took her to the vet. Then she developed a tumor in the vulva. I finally submitted
to a biopsy which revealed a very rare condition called cryptococcus. The vet removed the tumor and two days later she went
blind. I never cried so much in my entire life. Everyday I came home from work and saw how miserable she was; she had to
wear a collar so she couldnt clean herself and now she couldnt see and was in terrible pain from the recent surgery.
Then I found out that this condition can be contagious to humans and the vet said I should cut down contact with
her(impossible) and think about putting her to sleep. He said I was at risk as well as my family. Then Egus collar came off and
she ripped open a suture and then was really reeling. I am reeling just thinking about it. Then I realized I could be putting people
in danger if I had contracted the disease (unlikely; almost only people who have a compromised immune system are really at
risk BUT it is minutely possible). So I made an appintment to end her life. It seems so unnatural. Did I make the right decision?
I know I believe in a loving God who welcomes all beings into joy after life. But still I am suffering from having consciously
made the choice. She was suffering. Medication might have lengthened her life, but she would never have been able to go
outside again or catch bugs...or have any real quality of life. I need a sign that I did the right thing. With my love to all of you
who have lost a loved and cherished one. Stephanie