by Kelly
Ill love you forever
Ill like you for always
For now and forever
My baby, youll be.
To my sweet big boy,
I am crying as I write this, because I dont want to say goodbye
How can I tell you within the confine of words what your lifetime of friendship and love has meant to me? Words are not enough.
I am so grateful to have been blessed with your presence in my life and so heartbroken because I will miss you so. I made a
promise to you that I would not let you suffer, but would keep you here with me for as long as you wanted to be. And I promised
to listen to you when you tell me its time. I will think of you being whole again, being excited about life, getting into mischief and
running around and jumping for joy like you used to when you were really happy. You were so big, but so gentle with your family
and so very brave when we needed you. This time with you has been much too short and I hate that it has to end. You showed
me compassion and taught me to see the goodness in the heart of a person. And your surefire way for choosing friends- you
would look straight past the exterior and look in the soul Are you nice? Will you treat me with kindness? Thank you for being my
friend, and thank you for loving me. I hope that I didnt wait too long, people kept telling me when they thought it was your time. I
slept on the floor with you so I could help you up when you needed to go outside- yes I could have put you down, but your eyes
told me not yet. Then you lost control of some of your functions and I was ready to let you go, but you nuzzled my hand looked
at me and said not yet. So I went and got diapers for you, people said its not fair to his dignity. My grandma wore diapers when
she got old and yes for a short time it must have been undignified to her, but then she just accepted it and continued on being with
her family. I put on your diaper apprehensive that it would work, but you looked at me thinking we were playing some great game
of dress up like we used to. We had a good sit-down playtime, I could have sworn that you smiled and I knew not yet. I count
every day that we have together now, I still sleep on the floor next to you- afraid that youll need me and I wont be there. I
continue vigilantly now with your pain medicine to keep you comfortable. I bought a disposable camera the other day, pictures will
be so important once youre gone.
Today you had a rough day and I know now that its getting close. I hope Im doing the right thing, I hope you know that this thing
I allow is not out of punishment. You have been the best friend in my life for such a long time and the last thing I want is for you
to suffer. I will treasure all of our times together. I will have to set up the appointment tomorrow; I can see that now. I could see it
in your eyes today for the first time. I feel like Ive let you down somehow, maybe I shouldve done something different. I wanted
more time with you; I wanted you to live longer, shoot, I wanted you to live forever.
Everything will be so empty with you gone
Sleep well my sweet big guy it is a rest you have so deserved.
Dream of big adventures, running though fields with your friends, but always know you can come home to me. For in my heart
you will always have a home. Maybe dreaming is just another undiscovered dimension of life, a time that is forever encapsulated,
never dies. If in your dreams you hear me calling, know that Im thinking of you and that I love you. Perhaps I will be lucky
enough to dream of you while I sleep-then we will meet up again and play like we used to. Toby, Cammie, and Frisky will be
there, waiting to play with you too. You might even see that silly old pony Beauty, grazing far away in a corner field somewhere.
I promise to visit our old haunts, but not for a while. It will hurt too much at first. I will think of you everyday at first with tears, but
later with smiles. I look forward to the day that every remembrance will bring a smile, for thats what you filled my days with,
laughter and joy. I love you baby, Grandma, Grandpa, Maddie, Karen, the sheltie cousins and Big Mel loves you too. Oh, how
Maddie will miss you so! You have been the dog in her life, and I dont think she will love another the way she loved you.
I will love and remember you always my dear friend & faithful companion.
Love to you,
-Your Kelly