by Sarah
I long to see him. To smell him again. The way he used to put his head in between my legs as if telling me I need a hug mom. As soon as he left me, I had this overwelming feeling to have another, one that looked just like him and smelled just like him. I dont were it came from, this intense need. I dont know if it was because I knew he would never again get up off that table or love me or sit patiently as I gave him a bath even though he detested them so. I loved that boy even more than I knew. That was one of the hardest things I had to make myself do, taking him there and watching him go. I couldnt let him die without knowing his mommy would always be there with him. I just want this pain to go away. sky