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A question
by Shelly Birchess
About 12 years ago I adopted my 3rd animal from you and my first dog (of my very own) His name Valentino (we didn't name him). He is a lab/shep mix, he was 9 months old and given up because he "snapped" at a kid. At the time I was not married had just moved out on my own. In the past 12 years he has dealt with a marriage 3 cats older than him dying, 3 new cats arriving, a dog 2 boys and never "said a word." He was obviously abused before whatever they did, it had to do with his food I spent months spoon feeding him, then eventually I could sit next to him, and then I just had to be in the same room. He has dealt with a kitten "nursing" from him, he had another cat cleaning him on a regular basis. He never complains. He has a young dog with tons of energy trying to get him to play and he does till he tires then he lets her know he is done.
He used to sleep in the bed, when my husband would get up he used to say he could tell how cold it was because of how fast val would jump in his spot. He used to get on the sofa and lay with me. He cant do those things anymore and hasn't for about a year. He used to get in the trash, knock you down to kiss you when you came home. He doesn't do that anymore. He used to follow me everywhere even to the bathroom, he was my shadow, he tries but its too hard for him now. He was never too much of an outside dog, he would go do his thing and then bark to come in, now he struggles with the step, and when he is ready its not even really a bark anymore.
One thing he never liked was the vet, we used to get tranquilizer for him because he was such a mess when he went, but as he got older they were hard for him, so maybe for him or maybe for me he hasn't been there in about a year. All my other guys are up to date.
At this point I am sure you are thinking nice story but what is the point. I see my baby unable to get up at times without my help, I hear the labored breathing when the weather got warm those days, I see his chest getting bigger, from perhaps fluid. I see a guy barking at a window to come in because he cant find the door until I touch him or clap to get his attention. I see a guy who if someone bumps him he falls. I see a guy who never complains, never cries. But a guy I know is no longer living the life he deserves. I have always felt that this was one thing the animal kingdom had over us was the ability to be put out of suffering. With my other guys it was so cut and dry, (feline leukemia, kidney disease, stomach cancer) but I am so torn with this guy. I have always respected your opinions and your feelings for the animals. I know you don't know him like I do, but how do you know? How do I know when I need to be a big girl and make this decision for him, just when I think I know I have to he will jump up and start "humping" the other dog looking 5 years younger all of the sudden. How do I not wonder that after I do that I didn't rush the issue?
For all of the things he has given me and my family the one thing I want to give him is that his last day is not spent terrified in a Vets office, I know coming to the house is not usual practice but this is something I feel I owe him, and I want so badly for him. I asked my vet (of many years) and much to my disappointment I was told because he is behind on his shots they would not, I can guarantee he has never been around any other animals except for his housemates, he isn't outside long enought for anything to land on him. But I am asking you if this is something you would be able to do for us? I know you are so busy, and I truly respect everything you do, but I am lost. When it comes his time for which I believe will be very soon is this something that you can help me with, making this guy who was so good really comfortable on his last day? If you cannot can you tell me who can? I need to know that when I can make this decision I have that part figured out.
Its funny I am not a religious person at all, but as I said my other guys were very hard, but there was something that I could see and know in my heart I was doing the right thing. I have so many doubts with Val and I wish that this is one thing God takes care of without me, but if he doesn't I am asking for your help.
Its funny I wanted to call but I didn't want him to hear me, yes I know how silly that sounds. But as I type this crying he is laying on the floor by my chair (so close I cant put my feet down) and just looking at me, somehow I think he knows, now if only I can get him to tell me I am doing the right thing.
And know that one guy you saved had one heck of a life and was loved so very much. Actually know that 5 guys from you (the others were homeless and found me) have come through my life since 6th grade (I am 33 now) when you came to speak at my school and my teacher put on the board about a springer spaniel whose mamma sat on her and she walked with a sway and I went home and begged my parents we brought Shana home and she lived 15 years. Since then I have adopted a few cats, my sweet Valentino, and a little hot shot you would know as Jules now named Lacy only a few years ago. And I always laugh at people who spend hundreds of dollars on animals, when as you say your next best friend is there.
I am sorry I am rambling, before you dismiss me as a little nutty I am just so confused about this, and in starting to write this I realize this is the first time I have put all this together even for myself.
* As a note they did help me find someone and they come tomorrow, I pray that I am doing the right thing.
Comments would be appreciated by the
author, Shelly Birches
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