I understand how my cat Buzzy felt when he was in pain. He had been attacked by a pit bull and the vet said he would not make it. It happened on April 29, 2000. We had to put him to sleep. Ever since that day I have felt so much guilt. But I think now I understand more about what happened. My Buzzy was in so much pain. He would have had to have his jaws wired shut because the attack caused both of his jaws to break in several places. Plus he had other very severe injuries. Just because I couldn't let go I was going to do whatever possible to keep him around. When I told a friend that I didn't want to put Buzzy down. That I wanted to do whatever I could to keep him around and that I felt guilty for putting him down. She asked me if he was suffering and I said yes. She looked right at me and said "How could you be so selfish and only think of yourself". Some people would think how could someone say something so insensitive to a person who just lost a beautiful animal. But she was right. Just because I wanted my Buzzy around I was going to have him suffer because I didn't want to let go. Of course I didn't want to let go. But he would of endured a lot of suffering for my selfishness. Little did my friend know she slapped me with those words and sent me straight to reality. I was being selfish and only thinking of myself. I'm sad, I'm depressed and I miss my Buzzy so much. I hope I did the right thing and I hope my Buzzy knows I tried the best I could. Today I planted a rose bush in his memory in my front yard where he used to take naps in the sun. You see Buzzy loved rose bushes. He loved to eat the petals and he loved to lay underneath the bushes at our next door neighbors house. So in his memory I planted a rose bush for him. He's probably laying underneath it right now and snacking on the petals. I still feel guilty and sometimes wonder if I did the right thing. I hope it gets easier. It's been one week and I hope this guilt goes away. I know in time it will. I love you Buzzy.