My Beloved little cat, Gypsy, died yesterday, Sunday (5/20/01). I am finding it very difficult to cope with at the moment. I am getting chemotherapy and to lose my baby is very hard. I especially feel distraught because I remember that many times I didn't spend enough time with her as I should have. She was an only cat. Maybe I should have gotten her a little friend - I don't know. My mom lives upstairs - she's 84 - and she's been helping me through this time. I shared close to 5 years with Gypsy. She was about 4 years old. I couldn't affort to get her fixed and she eventually developed an infection in her uterus. I took her to the animal clinic Thursday, 5/17 and they told me she needed an operation right away. I prayed that this surgery would heal her and I could bring her home over the weekend. She survived the surgery, however, she wasn't eating. I saw her at the clinic on Saturday and, while holding her paws, told her to please get better so we can go home and play. She passed away Sunday. On Monday, 5/21, I went to see her body and decided to have her cremated so that I can hold on to her ashes forever. I was disheartened when I saw that her body was in a black plastic bag in a freezer waiting for further instructions. I had a moment alone with her and touched her over the plastic bag - I'm taking antibiotics and have to be very careful of any infections. I've been crying ever since. I should have her ashes some time next week or the following. My spirit is down and I miss her terribly. She was my little angel girl and I'm so sorry I spent more time with my mom upstairs than with her when she was alive. And that I couldn't get her fixed which might have saved her in the long run. I pray that she forgives me and still loves me. My mother and I didn't have enough money to have her fixed at the time and whenever we did get some, it went for food and other necessities. I'm more of a cat lover than my mom, even though she learned to love Gypsy eventually. My heart aches for Gypsy and people tell me to try to not let it get to me too much because of my health, but I miss her so so much. Thank you so much for letting me tell my story because Gypsy was such a beautiful, sweet, special little tabby and I love her forever. I hope that she knew that too.