We lost our Buster yesterday. We called him our little Buzzy Boy. He came to us, left an orphan when his owner died suddenly. He was handed to me by the man's daughter and she cried unashamedly while she said goodbye. She couldn't keep him. He learned slowly to trust us and live with our big dog Maggie. One afternoon, I took him in for his shots and he had a fever. Antibiotics didn't clear it up and he was developing a nasty case of "tonsillitis." Surgery just confirmed a lymph gland that was enlarged and he seemed fine. Another one developed a little further down....it was bigger. That one was removed by a specialist and it required more effort to take out. And he seemed fine again. Then the fever came back and he began choking on his food. He began to lose weight. His food would come back up and when he drank water, he would cough and it would pour out his tiny little nose. His full-bodied 8 pounds dwindled to just under 4 yesterday when he finally died. An endoscopy had revealed masses of tumors in the back of his throat. Inoperable. And an ultrasound showed "densities" throughout his tiny liver. He was starving to death slowly and there was nothing to do but help him leave easily. Buster, I'm living now without your sweet tiny brown eyes twinkling at me through all that hair! Maggie is mourning your loss as well. We wander the house not wanting to touch your rumpled little bed or pick up the bowl you tried so many times to eat out of in the last couple of months. We hold your soft blankie to our faces to smell your smell before it fades from us. I hope what I've tried to do for you...stop the suffering...has helped you. I'd die if I thought you were angry at me for stopping the malignant process that was killing you. For some reason when I see tiny birds fly, I think of you and wonder if it's really you up there...sniffing the air and cruising. You don't have to have me roll the window down anymore.... the whole sky is yours. We loved you Buzzy and we miss you terribly and it has only been 24 hours! We'll see you when we get there. Please stick around to at least say hello! Eat until you are full and drink until you don't need anymore....