2 years ago this August 17th I came home to find my Baby Boy (1.5 year old Giant Schnauzer named Harley)was dying. He was being strangled and suffering from heat stroke. I had never felt so helpless in my life...he didn't finally pass away until early into the next morning. My life was even further devestated 2 weeks later as my dear friend Sugar (18 year old Siamese) passed away in my arms. For 4 months after their deaths I would light candles at church on Aug 17 for them. I missed worked and there were days when I would break down and cry with feelings of anger, sorrow, regret, pitty. Some time during the 5 th month things got better and I was no longer lighting candles monthly. During the 6th month I realized I was no longer crying out of the blue. It took 6 months for it to get better...but it did. My story doesn't end quite there thought. 1 month and 12 days short of a year, I would end up losing my best friend (10 year old Giant Schnauzer named Frawline). For months we fought the disease that was destroying her body and shared in her good days and bad. She finally could take no more and had to leave me last July. I had been preparing for her death for some time as they do not live much longer than 10 years or so but that didn't make it much easier. My animals are my life today as they were when Harley was my baby boy, Sugar was my mother and Frawline was/is my best friend. Though I sit here with tears in my eyes as I write this, I do promise you it will get better. Do what you need to to find comfort, whether it's a burial service, candles, a heart felt keepsake. When they pass, no one around me truly understood but I do understand and I promise it will get better. Just keep telling yourself that and one day not far from now, (but you'll think so) you'll be able to think about your loved one who passed and smile for their lives are worth more then your tears and regrets...