It has been a couple of months since you crossed over the Rainbow Bridge and I still find myself crying over your leaving me behind. I never knew until now how much I still miss you. For six years, you were here when I needed you the most. You were always ready for me to hold whenever I got depressed from what the world was dishing out to me for the moment. I am getting ready for a another change in my life and I have to do it alone. I grab your bear and hold it close to me just like when I use to hold you close. I find myself taking this same toy rocking it and singing 'Hush Little Baby' lullaby just like I use to do for you. I can't eat a PJB or a chocolate bar without images of you trying to climb onto my lap to get your share (knowing that you would not get any). Recently I found where you hid your harness. I took this haress, pictures of you and replicas of your favorite things and made a shadow box for you. When I find your ribbons (from the move into this apartment)-- I have them framed for you. My angel even though you are gone -- you will always be 'My Special Angel'.

Somehow I feel that I still did you wrong that day by asking the vet to put you to sleep. You had suffered enough and I did not want you to suffer with any more pain. I am sorry that I had to that and I am also sorry that I could not stay with you during your last moments here on among the living. I could not bear the pain of watching you die. I was so afraid that I would have changed my mind and have the vet try to save you when there was no hope for you to get better. Everyone tells me that I did right thing for you. I feel that you have forgiven me but right now I am trying to forgive myself for this decision and it isn't easy to do.

In time all things will work out. I am looking forward to time that I can see you again instead of looking at your pictures. Until the time that The Creator of All Things calls me to cross the Rainbow Bridge -- have fun playing with those animals that have passed over before and welcome those that come will cross after you. You will always be remembered with great all my love.