WHAT IS THIS I will never forget moving day in June of 1995. Coral Springs, Florida was hot in the summer and we were racing with the daily thunderheads rolling in. What furniture I had was almost finished being transported up the flight of steps and into our apartment. It was new beginnings for me...the first time I had ever rented an apartment of my own. The colors didn't go well as I looked around the room. A sagging couch and milk-crate shelving in blues and reds and the black tabby on the couch and the...wait a minute. What was this? I remember looking over at the couch to find him walking across the back and jumping down onto the cusion that nearly swallowed him up. Oh was he ever sick, skin and bones, mangled from the summer elements that surely had their way with him. I was a horse person, I grew up with cats but never had nor wanted one of my own. But the face on this God's creature struck me in a way not even a horse knew how to do. I was drowning in emotion over this cat and I knew I had to save him. OUR BOND Over the months I nursed him back to health and his muscular 18 pound body replaced the protruding ribcage. He traveled with us from apartment to apartment learning to adjust to new people and new surroundings and even new animals. My boyfriend at the time was not what I would ever consider bringing home to mom and dad and was rather abusive when alcohol became involved. I can count the nights it wasn't on one hand. It never failed, Jingles was always there after the storm. He'd lay beside me on the bed and comfort me. Not having a place where we could go together was the only thing keeping me in that relationship. In 1997, an opportunity appeared and we were able to get away from him for good. From here on out it was going to be me and Buster(another cat I found) and my beloved Jingles...my little guard kitty. I moved back home to Virginia and got an apartment. From 1997 until 2003, there wasn't a day that went by that he was alone and 95% of the time he was right by my side. Even more so after Buster died. He guarded me in the bathroom, in the shower, in the kitchen, everywhere in the house. He even attacked an intruder one night and shredded his leg like a Ginsu knife. This was the best treated cat ever, and I was the best-treated human in the world. MY HUSBAND I finally met Mr. Right and even he realized that nothing could stand between me and my little boy. He finally took on the attitude of "If You Can't Beat 'Em Join 'Em!" The townhouse we bought had the bay window over looking the neighborhood,and windows everywhere. We were all happy but with that much room and our work schedules, I wanted a playmate for Jingles. So I adopted two new cats in June 2003, but continued to spoil Jingles, even more so now. We were one big happy family. END OF WATCH It was August 1, 2003, a day unlike any other. If I had known it was going to be our last day together, there is so much I would do differently. I would have called into work, I would have held him all day, I wouldn't have stayed out late, I would have come home. My husband said he was fine all day, but did he really see any signs? any fatigue? any mere hint that would have triggered a call to the vet? Bobby went to work at 5:00pm his usual night shift time.I would have gotten home an hour later, but I had dinner with a friend that lasted late. I walked into the door at 10:30 and walked to the kitchen saying hi to the cats under my feet. But Jingles wasn't there. That wasn't normal. I found him lying on the floor in the living room and went to pet him. I was greeted with a low growl and a scolding hiss as if to say be careful, I don't feel well. I called my friend to come get us to go to the emergency vet. We arrived at the doctor at 11:05pm. They reacted as if we were bringing this cat in because he hissed...of course I should take the word of an emergency vet tech who had never seen him over my own daily experiances, right? To appease me, they decided to check him out anyway. He had a fever of 104 degrees and he continued to hiss. The vet looked him over and couldn't see anything wrong but the fever, so she decided to run some blood work. Before they could even get the needles together, Jingles went into respiratory failure. He stopped breathing and despite CPR attempts, my beloved boy was gone. My last words to him were "I love you baby." He died just five minutes later. THE AFTERMATH I cried, I screamed, I cursed in rage and found no one answering me except the vet tech that said, "Well I guess you really knew your cat." I hope they have sensitivity training scheduled for her someday soon. The week that followed was so hard and lonely. I wanted answers to questions and got nothing. He was 11 or 12, not real old, but not real young. My confusion overwhelmed me, my sadness outweighed me, and the loss of my beloved boy hurt more that I could ever imagine. I carried his picture around everywhere. I found myself calling for him when I meant to call for my other cats. I also found myself pushing the other cats away. We buried him at my friend's horse farm, where I train horses on the weekends, that following Saturday. He now lays to rest in a quiet courtyard area next to the big horse field, and I can see him when ever I want to. JINX The Sunday after I buried him, I went out to the farm to visit. A stray cat who had been hanging around crawled out from under a trailer. He was very skittish and for the past month wouldn't let anyone near him. His markings were quite similar to my baby's. I sat down on the tree stump and he came right up to me. It was amazing! For six hours that day I befriended this little cat, whose mannerisms were nearly identical to Jingles. I even named him Jinx because they were so similar. He rubbed up against my hand as if to say, everything is going to be all right. As people walked by us, Jinx paced in a semi-circle around me hissing and meowing at the people. Then he trotted back over to my tree stup and laid down, looking up at me with kind eyes. The expression on his face said, "His watch has just ended, but mine has just begun."