by Amanda Labadie
She would have been two at the end of this month...
Indi was a registered german shepherd dog who at six months of age could no longer walk..She had advanced Hip Displasia and every step for her was a painful one...We first started to notice when she refused to go up the stairs and after a short block she would lay down and I would have to carry her home....We had a problem...
I took her to my wonderful veterinarian where he diagnosed her with HD...He said that we would do xrays just to be sure...I made an appointment for the following week and took my sick girl home...
I didn't know what to do....Surgery was an option but the Vet felt that at her age and the advancement of it...it wasn't a good idea...most likely she would never recover...
I spent that whole week balling my eyes out...I didn't know where to turn or what to do...i was only 16 years old and I wasn't ready to deal with this yet...I turned to the breeder...
What a joke...he refused resposibility and said it was my fault and after a few heated arguments I left....
The day before the xrays were scheduled I decided that if her hips were as bad as he thought they were and she would have to live in pain all her life I would put her to sleep....I didn't want to have to think about it...
The day came...I was a wreck...My mom and I dropped her off early in the morning...around 2:00 or so the call came...She was awake and the doctor would like to see us...We rushed down there...hoping...They brought her out...they had to carry her...She couldn't walk...they had to flex her hips to get the xray and it had taken its toll...she could barely stand..i started to cry...the xray was awfull...we couldn't tell where the hip was...she had no joint it wasjust bone against bone...
I held her as he put the needle in her vain...She started to panic and scream it was awful, and we were all crying...Indi wouldn't hold still and he couldn't find a vain...she was carying on so bad...she was scared and the anasthesia from the xrays had made her groggy and unsure...It was so hard...she calmed down and I rubbed her head...and kissed her one last time...I layed her head on the table as she took her last breath...I felt like a murderer...and I cried for days...I refused to leave my room and fell into a depression...I held onto my other dog for dear life...promised her I would never let go...The grief I felt was so intense I couldn't breath...
I try to remember Indi when she was happy and not that awful day att he clinic...I remember how happy she was to see me and the breath only apuppy has..I remember how she would nod her head ever so slightly and how she loved her orange squeaky ball...I remember all of those things about her...I will never forget her..
Today I have a new dog another shepherd named Kate...She will never replace Indi no-one ever will, as she will always be in my heart...Indi's bouncy personality...and the way she used to snuggle in the mornings...i will never forget you indi...You are with me always...
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