by Mary Lea
I miss seeing your sweet brown eyes and the way you always knew where I was, at any time in our home. I miss the way you would listen to me attentively while I practiced my talks for work, my MBA presentations or my readings for Church. I miss your nose nudges, the way you opened the dog treat cabinet, and the way you would just come up and rest your head on my lap. Your cheery greeting whenever I got home made me feel happyeven when your hearing wasn't so good, and it took a while for you to know.
Your longing expression when you waited and stared at us from under the glass kitchen table, hoping that a scrap of food would fall your way, makes it hard to sit down and eat there anymore. There is such a void in our daily life.
After 13 years that went too quickly, I only wish I had more time with you. I want to give you another meal in your food dish, to give you a doggie hors doeuvres or just make you a special bowl of popcorn, your favorite snack.
Instead, your little body didn't last and I had to give you back to God. I treasure all the special memories you gave me and find it hard to believe how much a little pound-dog could mean to me. Thirteen years ago, I instantly fell in love with your pining "Take me home please!!" expression when you put your little puppy nose and pressed your pink spotted tummy against the wire fence at the dog pound. I think you were saying "Get me outta here, there are scary dogs in this place!!"
When I brought you home, after winning the lottery for you, (did you know there were 3 of us who wanted you that day in the pound?) you were very scared to take that car ride home. Your body was stiff and you weren't quite sure what the next stop would bring. But shortly after we got home and you met Charcoal, your fears vanished. You two had so much fun chasing each other, playing with toys (including 3 Jacuzzi covers) and you let Charcoal know that you were now the alpha dog! You were so little, you looked like a white rabbit with black ears and big feet. It was fun to see you grow in to your spots.
All the memories of your swimming talent, your "Kong" days, your beautiful black ears, your expressive face and your funny Pongo quirks are emblazoned in my heart, as marvelous memories of what a special dog you were.
I tried to make your senior years good ones; taking care of aging dogs was new to me. When your hearing went, we had our own signals to communicate. When your hips became painful and weak, Dr. Watson helped you, while I learned to be gentler with you. When your appetite would wane, I learned how to make it get better. But cancer was something I couldn't fix. I watched as your appetite just didn't get better one last time. When you didn't eat for 24 hours, I knew you were gravely ill. Dr. Watson only confirmed my worst nightmare. Although I knew that day would have to come eventually, I just dreaded it. He gave you fluids and pain medicine to make you feel better for your last trip home. Your precious little eyes, always so full of life, were painful to see. You were in pain and it was your time to leave us.
So although I couldn't give you any food, I gave you as many Pongo hugs as I could, and made you as comfortable as possible. You didn't sleep and I think the pain must have been terrible. When you yelped, I wasn't sure if you didn't like the lights dimmed or if you needed some attention, so I took care of both. It was the longest night for me because I knew it was our last. I wanted more time. By morning you couldn't even stand, so we carried you outside and you just laid down. It was so painful to watch that once-strong body be so weak.
When Dr. Watson gave you medicine to rest your weary body, I held you close and told you what a sweet little dog you were. Scott and I stayed there a while and cried while we pet your pretty face and got one last look at the beautiful Springer Spaniel that graced our lives.
Charcoal has been looking for you and even roams the house during the night. Do you remember how she is pretty sloppy with her food dish? You would always eat what she dropped and it is looking pretty messy around her bowl now. We hope she knows you are in a safe spot now and that she was always a good pal to you. On your last day at home, she washed your face several times, just like the old days.
You made so many people laugh and feel good. Now you are in heaven playing with all your dog friends. You don't have painful hips and I bet you are eating as much as possible and that makes me happy. One of my nicknames for you was "Sunshine." Well the day you left us we had such a sunny day and I knew that you were telling me you were in a better place and would still be sending me Pongo Love forever. I miss you and still wish we had more time together, but you will be in my heart forever. You were my best white dog!!