by Dorene Lee
Kylie Jo:
My child, my heart, my love. You went to the Rainbow Bridge one year ago today. Do you know how I've waited for you to come home? I know it's crazy but I've been waiting for you to come home, I pass by the Vet's office and think that I have to go over there and bring you home. Kylie, I know now that you are never coming home but oh, how I miss you so! Every day I come home from work and look for you in the window, excited to see me. I still sit to the side of my chair each night because I expect to see you sitting there with me. I look for you on the bricks by the fireplace when it's hot because you would lay there to get cool. So many memories, Kylie. I never wanted memories, I just wanted you. How can I tell you how incredibly difficult this year has been for your Mama. I miss you so much every minute of every day. I took a vacation day today so that I could remember the good times before you got so sick with cancer and I'm really trying to remember you before you got so sick. Kylie, I planted a flower garden in the back yard and spread some of your ashes in it. I planted the most colorful, beautiful flowers that I could find but they don't match the beauty of you.
I want to thank some of the human people who helped me this last year: Dee, Daisey and Princess' mom who misses her girls as much as I miss you, without her I don't think I could have got through this last year; Fifi cat's Mom, thank you so much for giving us a place to go to talk about our children without the stigma of people who say, it was just a "cat/dog"; April and Casey Bears Mom; Sam's Dad and Buckwheat's Mom. You all helped me so much when I felt overwhelmed with grief for the loss of my child. You all know. Thanks to all of you always.
Kylie, I didn't quite know what I would feel today on the one-year anniversary of you going to the Rainbow Bridge. But strangely I feel very peaceful, almost if you are telling me that's it's ok to let you go, that it's of for your Mama to be happy and go on living without you. I've missed you every minute of every day of this last year. I feel your spirit when I'm running, you loved to run and everywhere I run I see you, I see the spots where you sniffed and the shady places under trees where you rested when it was hot. Now when I'm running, when I get to those places, I blow kisses to you and send them on the wind because the wind knows where the rainbows are and I know that the kisses will find you!
In closing, my love, please know that as long as your Mama is alive, you are alive. I will talk about you to anyone who will listen and keep your memory alive. I promise that I will take care of myself now and try to honor your memory as you would would want to me. But remember, I will see you at the Rainbow Bridge and when that day comes be prepared for a million kisses!You'll be in my heart always, Mama
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