by Ramey Lujan
Jasper my fluffy bundle of joy died just a few days ago in the wee hours of the morning on August 10, 2000 and I miss his little soul something terrible.
I remember when I saw him the pet store over five years ago. He was so fluffy, quiet, and shy. I went to pick him up out of the cage and beneath all that fluff was this perfect small boy. He quivered and quaked then looked at me with those gentle and kind eyes I knew then I had to take him home. Jasper was so unique. He was so fluffy and had enormous feet for such a small little boy. As Jasper grew so did my love for him. He adored watching your feet walk across the floor or tackling the smallest piece of string and bunny-kicking a roll of toilet tissue that he tore off the wall.
My dear Jasper became accident prone the older he got. He was no longer the small tiny bundle of joy but a full fledged puff ball of love. He had such a wandering spirit that could not be contained. He would roam around the yard chasing bugs and birds. He had a distinct soft meow that would tell me he was happy to see me. The meow included the sweetest curl to his pink little tongue. He also had this crazy habitat of getting in my face to purr, knead and drool all over me. What a doll!
One day Jasper was on another journey out in the wilderness and didn't make it home for dinner. He showed up finally five days later crying pitifully while dragging his big strong leg. Jasper never cried like that and I knew something was terribly wrong especially since Jasper never missed a meal. Dr. "Bob" said he was hit by a car. He had lost a lot of weight in the past five days and was severely dehydrated. That sweet kind soul hung on for four more days. On his last evening I had the urge to take him outside and do it quickly. I talked to him in earnest. I was so fearful of losing him. He knew my heart was breaking. How I wanted to hold on. I told my sweet boy that it was ok. I would understand if he had to go. As I gathered my sweet boy now all skinny and puffy like he was as a kitten he breathed his last breath.
The pain was so great and the guilt so fierce. How much I miss my sweet boy. I so hoped to spend so many more years with him instead all I had was five short years. In those years I loved him so much. I laughed, I cried, I worried, and I loved. I do hope that on his journey he will peace, love and a place of no pain. I also hope that he will find his old kitty friends Warlock, Basil, and Charlie. I look forward to the day when they will show me the way.
I love you always my dear,
Mommy