by Tamandra Michaels
The events of last night will be forever written on my heart. My
beloved companion of nearly 7 years, my beautiful Joxer the warrior
wannabe doberman, passed suddenly and traumatically. We had just got
back from visiting the set of Spiderman,the movie, when I noticed he
was acting lethargic, and breathing heavily. He drank and drank, but
would immediately throw it up, so I called my vet, who said to just
watch him for awhile, don't feed him,etc. Several minutes later, he
began to wobble and then collapsed in a heap, making a horrible
howling moan. I knew in my heart he was gone, but being in a
wheelchair, and not able to lift his 130 lb. body, I wheeled out into
the street screaming for some help. Finally a neighbor came to my aid,
and came over, when we called paramedics. Ultimately, they all
convinced me that he was no longer alive, and it was too late. Of
course, denial made it hard to accept this, especially when my
neighbor is suddenly helping me make arrangements for a
cremation/burial cemetary to pick him up. I took awhile to get on the
floor next to him, and cradle his head in my lap to say goodbye. I
hope he could somehow hear me from wherever he's gone. Now I'm faced
with the silence and emptiness I'm left with, and it's very, very
difficult.
When I first got Joxer, he was a gangly 3 month old pup, who's litter
I had gone to look at on a whim. I was still grieving the loss of my
last dobie, who also died at 6 of a brain tumor. I really didn't think
I was ready, but this pup went off with me, and jumped up behind my
chair, and "pushed" it along! I was in love. We bonded instantly, a
very deep and devoted bond, and were rarely apart, since I could take
him wherever I went. He's been on movie sets, met celebrities, tramped
through Yellowstone Park with me,as well as spending afternoons
frolicking in dog park. Joxer got his name as a nickname, it's from
the show "Xena", the character was a sweet, klutzy guy who thought
himself a great warrior. This fit my dog to a tee, since he did things
like ferociously bark at a cat, which then hissed back, sending him
screaming in terror..or barking at Great Danes, since they were bigger
than he, from the safety of behind my chair. He took up the majority
of my Queen sized bed, and often snored loudly, and often had terrible
flatulence, and of course he was a loudmouth, spoiled, whined for
attention constantly, and was obsessed with his frisbee, or chakram as
I called it.
Thank you for your years of devotion, service, and love, Joxe