by Patti Nelles
Granny's story goes back to four years ago this last July. I had owned a pair of white German shepherds, and Granny's story begins following the devastation I experienced from the theft of one of them.
The following December, which was then six months later, I just happened to be home to watch the 5:00 pm news one evening. Usually, I didn't get home until closer to 6:00 pm. The TV station did a spot with a shelter located about 75 miles from my home, featuring a different animal each night. That particular night, the featured pet was a female white German shepherd, and when I saw her, it took my breath away - she looked just like my Sadie. They were closed for the day, so first thing the next morning I called to see what I could find out about her. They told me they didn't know much - she'd been brought in as a stay, but had been seen out in the wild for 3-4 months. They were estimating her age to be about 11, due to the condition of her teeth, and said her tail was only about 6 inches long. But, after 6 months, that wasn't even conclusive that it wasn't Sadie. In that amount of time, her teeth could have been worn down, and her tail could have also healed over. So I drove up to see.
When I got there, I took one look at her and our eyes immediately connected, but I knew she wasn't Sadie. So I left. I drove two blocks to a parking lot, pulled in and cried my eyes out. There was just something telling me to go back. She wasn't Sadie, but I knew I couldn't do anything more for Sadie than I had already done. I knew that at her age, it was very unlikely that anyone else would adopt her. I also knew that I could take her home and give her a good home for whatever time she had left. So I went back and got her.
She would crawl up on the couch by me, with her head in my lap, and we would sit together that way nearly every evening. Even at that age, she was beautiful! She was one of the most gentle creatures I have ever seen. The vet I took her to right after I got her confirmed that he thought she was about 11 years old. I figured that if she lasted another six months, that would be about all. She was already well beyond the normal life expectancy for her breed. With some good food and lots of love she flourished! Granny was able to heal the hole in my heart from having Sadie stolen in a way that nothing or no one else could. She needed me as much as I needed her.
I've had, and lost, many companion animals, but Granny and I shared a bond unlike any I've shared with any of them. She made an enormous impact on my life, and she shared her gentle love with everyone she came in contact with. I would take her with me to visit my dad in the nursing home, and she would bring smiles to the residents as they would reach out to touch her soft, warm fur.
Granny was terrified of thunder storms. We had an open prescription for a light dosage of "doggie downers" to help calm her. Many nights I would sit and hold her until the storm subsided. I teased her that she must have lost the rest of her tail by having it struck by lightening, and that's why she was so scared of it. She didn't even like a camera flash - I was only able to get two good pictures of her in four years!
Then this spring she started to go downhill. She was having a really hard time getting up, she was stumbling and falling, and I could tell she was in alot of pain. I thought I was going to lose her then. My vet suggested a medication to try and also recommended a prescription food, and the combination worked! She came back, gained weight, and was doing really well. Unfortunately, thought, the effects for Granny were short lived.
In September she began to rapidly fail again. She slept most of the time - I had all I could do to get her up to go outside or to eat. She lost bowel and bladder control, lost weight and muscle mass, began stumbling again, and the pain in her eyes was back. I went in and talked with my vet and she agreed - we were out of options. With winter coming on, I couldn't bear the thought of her being cold, in pain and falling. So, with my vet's help, I made the decision to put her down. I put the appointment off for a week, as I had a 3-day conference scheduled out of town that following week, and I thought it would be easier if I didn't have to come home every night and have her not there waiting for me. That was the hardest decision I've ever had to make, even though I knew it was what was best for her.
On Tuesday, September 24, I took her for her last walk in the back yard, I tranquilized her here at home and at 5:00 I took her to my vet. I held her in my arms, thanked her for being my special angel, and told her over and over how much she was loved as she took her last breath. My wish for her was not to have any stress or to feel any pain, and my vet made that happen, both for her and for me.
Now, I am going through the process of not having her in my life. During the first week, one night when I couldn't sleep, I found a poem entitled "When I Grow Frail". When I read it, it was as though she had written it for me. I printed it out and have it framed on a shelf in our living room. I've since gotten her cremains back, and the small wooden box, tied with a little white bow is on the shelf next to the poem. I don't know if there will ever come a time when I will be able to bury that little box - for now it brings me comfort having it there.
The tears still come, but not as many, and not as often. I can now have peace and happiness in remembering the very special bond we shared. I know I have a long way to go, but the healing process has started. I find this so amazing - for me to have just happened to be home to see Granny on TV, for her to have been turned into the shelter 75 miles away, and to have even survived living out in the wild at her age for all those months - and to have lasted another four years...........I believe God knew we needed each other, and brought us together. I believe too, that she is at the Rainbow Bridge, waiting for me, and when my time here is done and God calls me home, that we'll be together again.