by Claire Petrie
From Mishka to Claire
May 25, 1999]
My beloved Claire,
You brought me great joy when you visited me in my cage at the hospital. I was waiting to say good-bye. I didn't want you to be upset with my condition, so I stood up in the cage to greet you, but I was too weak and sank back down. I will never forget how gently you stroked me and sang to me "The Doggie in the Dell." Then I attempted to get out of the cage to be nearer to you, but again I collapsed back. Finally, I grew weary and you left. I had been waiting for you to leave so I could depart. My love for you remains, and I know that we will be reunited.
Do you remember one night when I still lived in the yard next door and you looked into my eyes in the darkness and we both felt a deep love for each other? I know you are sad and lonely now, but think back to that night. Sometimes at night, after I came to live with you, while you were working at your desk, I liked to gaze at you because I loved you so overwhelmingly. I remember times when I was panting from sheer happiness and you would imitate me and we'd pant together and I tried to bluff you by slowing down, but you always did what I did-and-we panted together! There were times when-I have to admit-I thought you were a dog, too.
But no other dog could feed me as well as you did. Why, you always gave me portions of whatever you were eating, and sometimes I just didn't want it-but that wasn't very often-the cheese, the chicken, the fish, the cake! Boy, I had it made. But I apologize for my frequent pickiness over a meal you worked so hard to prepare for me. Actually, a lot of the time, I was sick to my stomach, not really "picky." I'm sorry for all the wasted food.
You gave me five blessed years of your life (plus those four years across the fence). You always stroked me and kissed me on ears, head, muzzle, paws, checksin fact, I was sometimes embarrassed to receive so much affection. But I loved it. You used to sing "The Doggie in the Dell" on my walks, and I knew it was especially for me, and it made me laugh. Thank you for singing it to me in the hospital just before we parted.
Sometimes, after I finally succeeded in herding you to bed and after you shut the lights, I would pant in the dark for happiness to be so lucky and so loved and in the same room with my pack.
I know I took you by surprise in my rapid decline in health and my abrupt departure, but I felt so weak, I knew it was my time to leave our life together. Our last hour together was everything and all that I wanted-your talking gently to me and stroking me. But I did not want anyone near me when I let go. I know the tears you are shedding for me and how you long for those walks that might have been going on in the beautiful spring season.
Just do as you always did, even when I was alive-stop and pet and talk to other doggies and bring some happiness to their lives.
I would like you please to find another doggie all your own-one who you will cherish and who will give you all the love you are worthy of.
I will always be with you with loyalty and love.
Forever, Mishka