by Dawn Pleck
My Piggy was dying. I knew it, but had not accepted it. You really can't understand the loss until your baby is gone.
The vet was scheduled to come by our house on a Saturday to put Pig to sleep. However, when he came, she was improving with the medication. So we decided to wait.
As I look back, I can see how she was diminishing but at the time one always has a sprinkle of hope; for a few more days, a few more hours. We were blessed with an additional month to spend with her.
Sunday, a month later, I forgot to give Pig her pill that morning. I thought it would be OK to skip it. She was on steroids to reduce the swelling of her brain tumor; without it she would act "Drunk" and have seizures. I never realized how much the steroids were just prolonging her life, until Monday morning when I went to feed her....I knew it was time. However, I still had that humane attitude of HOPE. I would just give her another pill in the morning and when I came home from work she would be OK. That afternoon when I arrived home, PIG was not OK. As I gave her her food she was unable to stand and I noticed she had spit out the morning pill. I took her to my bedroom and she hid under the table. I layed down with her on the floor and she began to have a seizure. I lost it! I felt I was only prolonging her life for my own selfishness but it is so difficult to make the decision to put our baby down.
It was time to say goodbye and I called my husband in a flood of frightfull tears to call the vet. I went back and tried to sooth Piggy. I picked her up and layed down with her on the bed and stroked her soft fur for a few solemn minutes of pure, unconditional love together. Soon my husband arrived home and we held her together until our vet arrived.
We all three sat together in the kitchen with PIG in my lap. In floods of tears amoung us all, as PIG lay in my arms, the vet put her to sleep. As she slipped away, I gently stroked her head, the way she always liked it and felt her little body go limp in my arms. My husband walked out with our vet and left me in silence, alone with my baby. I hope at that time she was sill lingering around and I told her she better be there waiting for us in Heaven.
My husband and I cried all night long as we prepared a coffin and buried her with our picture, a toy and rose pedals.
I will always miss my Piggy and though it hurts so bad that I had to let her go, memories lead me to truly believe it was time. I am thankful that I was able to hold her in my arms as she passed instead of letting her leave this world on her own.
Our time together was so short but was filled with so much love and happiness that some may never find in an entire lifetime. We love you so much Piggy Monster!