It was a frigid December day and snow blanketed the frozen earth. Over the past few months, I had grown increasingly concerned about my precious dog Maddie, who was feeling under the weather. Maddie was a mutt, half lab, half cocker spaniel, and one hundred percent love. She was everything to me and nothing could have ever prepared me for the loss that I was about to face. Tossing and turning in the ruffled bed sheets, I awoke suddenly, my body filled with fear. I darted downstairs in the darkness to find Maddie, to my relief, peacefully sleeping in her favorite spot by the couch. The light from the night light in the hallway illuminated her slender body as she slept. As I watched her I wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay, but I knew that she was sick and was only holding on for me. I gently stroked her soft black fur and whispered, I love you more than you will ever know. I carefully tiptoed back to bed with tears quietly streaming down my face. Morning came quickly. The warm sun spilled its rays into my bedroom window, but I still felt very cold. My mom came into my room and said, Time to get up. She noticed that I was already awake and saw that I was upset. She comforted me by giving me a hug and assuring me that Maddie was going to be just fine. Wanting to believe her, I nodded and got out of bed. I again went downstairs to check on Maddie. When I saw her it was like the ground beneath my feet was stolen. She was lying on her right side, her chest slowly rising as she gasped for air. I became hysterical as I tried to help her up. My mom rushed downstairs to see what was the matter. By the time she reached me and Maddie, Maddie was struggling to get up. Her frail hind legs finally regained their strength and she stood up. My mom optimistically remarked, She just has a little trouble finding her balance. Nothing to get upset over. In a shaky voice I said, Im going to stay home from school today to take care of her. I had a bad feeling that this would be my final day with her and I wanted to stay by her side, just as she had stayed by my side whenever I felt troubled. My mom replied, You have to go to school. You cant help her by being here. She needs her rest. Tears burst from my eyes as I grabbed my books and stumbled out to the car. I cant even remember how I got to school that day. School was like a dream as I went through the motions. Finally it was 10:15. I hurried through the frigid winter air, jumped into my little red car, and sped off. The drive home felt like an eternity and with every passing moment I began to cry harder and harder. When I got home I raced into the house and watched my dad, his head lowered, carry Maddie to the car. What are you doing? I fearfully shouted. We have to take her to the vet and find out whats wrong. Shes suffering. I solemnly agreed. At the veterinarian hospital I anxiously waited for Maddies turn. By this time, her breathing had become increasingly heavier. The vet appeared from a narrow hallway and looking throughout the waiting room said, Maddie? We rose from our seats, my knees shaking uncontrollably. She carefully carried her away as I watched through the tears in my eyes. I felt sick. The room around me began to spin as I waited for the results. Finally the vet entered the room. I jumped from my seat. Her face looked grim. I was hoping for the best, but I knew in my heart that nothing could save Maddie. In a sympathetic voice the vet said, Im so sorry. Maddie is in the advanced stages of lung cancer. I fell to the floor. The words pounded in my head. I couldnt believe what was happening. I reached for Maddie and held her in my arms. I kept kissing her and whispered, No one can ever take you away from me, no one. The vet read off Maddies options as if she was reading the last rights of an inmate on death row. I knew what my family and I had to do. It was the most difficult decision that we were ever faced with. I looked deep into Maddies brown eyes, trying to understand her pain. Her sad eyes seemed to say, Its okay Lisa. Its time for me to go. I scooped her up in my arms and took her home one last time. I laid her in her favorite spot and gave her her favorite tan blanket. I met my mom at the door and saw the devastation in her face. The whole family gathered around Maddie to say our goodbyes. Even our calico cat understood what was happening as she brushed her face against Maddies side. Maddies body was so weak, but her spirit was so strong. The time came when it was time for Maddie to go. Knowing that I couldnt bare going to the vet again, I chose to stay home. My dad carried Maddies feeble body to the car as I held on to her paws. He gently placed her on the floor of the family van. Trying to wipe the tears from my eyes, I embraced Maddie with all my might. My dad turned to me and whispered, Its best for her. When he closed the door, I felt as if the door to my heart had closed forever. As they left the driveway, I wept uncontrollably and fell to the freezing ground. Why God, why? I pleaded as I realized that Maddie was gone forever. I was just holding her and now look! I whimpered aloud. My parents arrived home quickly. Seeing the anguish in my eyes my mom said, Maddie passed away very peacefully. She just closed her eyes and went to sleep. Even though I was upset, I felt relieved that Maddie was no longer in pain and moved on to a better place. The healing process had already begun. I still think about Maddie everyday and memories of the good times we had together continue to comfort me. Our fifteen-year friendship can never be broken, even by death. Coping with this loss has made me a stronger person and I understand that it is selfish to prolong an animals life because of your fear of losing them. The best gift that you can give your pet is the gift of letting go. I am so grateful for the time that I got to spend with Maddie, my best friend.