NIKKI 4/3/91 – 8/7/00 The first time I ever saw you with your big tummy full of pups and your little tongue sticking out I knew how special you were and how much I would come to love you. Remember how for that first week you hid away under the sideboard and wouldn’t come out. I had to leave your food there and go away or you wouldn’t eat. I slept on the settee to be near you. Then one morning I woke up to find you asleep on my feet. We never looked back from there did we? We’d become a team. You went on to have the pups. Four little beauties, three boys and one little girl. You invited me to in that wonderful time, although you didn’t need any help. I think you were never happier than when you had your little family to raise. You were a natural mother and taught them well. I didn’t see much of you for a while but I didn’t mind because you were happy. One by one they left home and we were a team again. By then it was our turn to move on. We left Vic and moved into our own place with your friend Tina. You were happy. You never did like Vic. The flat was small but we soon settled in. You didn’t have a garden but we had loads of walks and a big park just down the road. You and Tina loved a good run in that park. We were soon joined by Azure, who you welcomed into your home. Somebody to join you barking at other dogs. Another of your hobbies. Then came that bad time. You were due to have another litter of pups but they died and gave you a serious infection. You never told me until it was nearly too late. The vet said you little dogs don’t like to worry your owners. You had to have a big operation and the vet didn’t think you would survive, but you proved him wrong. After four days in hospital you came home fully recovered. Although you couldn’t have pups anymore, we put it all behind us and got back to enjoying our lives together. We had fun together the four of us. Walks and runs in the park and cuddles and tummy rubs. You always used to come to bed with me and I’d have to fight you for the pillows. If you got there first you’d lie right in the middle of them. You liked to sleep under the quilt with your head on the corner of the pillow on your back with your front paws outside, just like a person. It was not always happy but when I was feeling down you’d always be there, loving me and making things feel better. You kept me going. We carried on on our own for about 4 years then things changed again. I started seeing Carl. You never liked him did you? It was when he told me that you’d have to go I knew that he had to. One good thing came out of seeing him didn’t it? I met the man that became your new daddy. The first time I brought him home you tried to bite him. You never liked men did you? That first Christmas he bought me presents, but there was one extra. He’d bought you guys a present too. After a while he moved in with us. He started taking you for walks too. You were a bit wary but I think you liked it really. You stopped trying to bite him, but you’d always bark at him when he came in from work. You’d often ask him for a cuddle. You realised he’d always look after us. Suddenly it was all change again. The flat was too small for all of us. We had to move again. We found a lovely house with the garden I’d always promised you. The first time we brought you here you ran round exploring and checked out the garden, you loved it. When we moved in you settled down so well for a dog that didn’t like change. We grew even closer. You were so happy. You had space to play and your garden to sunbathe in. You got so much closer to daddy. You’d spend so long washing his balding head for him. I’m glad you didn’t manage to make his hair grow back. You knew he was always a soft touch for a cuddle or a piece of chocolate. We had a happy year here. Then you started having trouble breathing and your little tummy swelled up. I thought it was the old trouble back but the vet told us it was your heart. We brought you home with your pills but you weren’t the same. You were so tired. All I could do was love you even more. The walk I took you for on Wednesday wore you out so much. On Friday you seemed so well. You ate two breakfasts and had titbits of sausages, crisps, chocolate and cream. You had to go to the vet and enjoyed the taxi trips so much. You were always so alert. You even managed a bark at other dogs. On Saturday you seemed so well we went out. When we got back you greeted us with a biscuit in your mouth. You gave me so many kisses and cleaned daddy’s head, even though you could hardly breathe. We took you back to the vet. You enjoyed that trip too, still so alert. I took you outside while we waited, you enjoyed the wind and sat by me sniffing the air. Then you insisted we went back into the vets. The vet said you had to stay, I didn’t want to leave you. I gave you a last cuddle and told you how much I love you. As he carried you away you looked straight at me as if to say I love you mum, goodbye. You waited until you were sure we had gone. Then you led down in the way you always felt most comfortable and went to sleep. The way you wanted, privately and with dignity, you were always so modest. We collected you the next morning and brought you back to the home you loved. We laid you to rest in the garden you loved. You looked so peaceful with your little tongue sticking out. Just like it was when I met you for the first time. You knew I had daddy to look after me now. When we got married I’m sure you read the certificate when we showed it to you. You didn’t have to worry about leaving me alone. There are so many things I’ll remember about you, your loyalty, how excited you got about going for a walk, the way you’d lick away my tears, Your barking, your love of biting men, your love. You taught me so much about life and love. I’m sure you’ll be here in spirit watching over us when little Nicole or Nicholas arrives. I hope I can be as good a mother as you were. Thank you, Nikki, for the privilege of being chosen to be loved by you. We had six great years together, full of love, lately added to by daddy. I’m glad you had a peaceful exit and knew how much you were loved, right up to the end. You will never die in our hearts and memories. You will never be forgotten while we are here. Thank you for just being Nikki. Goodbye and sleep well, my darling. All of our love always Mommy and daddy